Mental health, Annoying, Cooking and Parents: Stay out of the kitchen

Stay out of the kitchen

By Anonymous - 19/11/2022 00:00

Today, as part of his crusade to drive me mad by “helping” in the kitchen, my dad used an entire bottle of expensive olive oil I brought from Greece to make fried bread for his breakfast, and he used the edge of my Japanese chef's knife to loosen a screw, so it now has a giant hairline crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 105

You deserved it 117

Mental health Annoying Cooking Parents

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Same thing different taste

Sliced and diced

By ShowOff - 11/03/2010 08:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried to demonstrate to my friend how laughably dull our kitchen knives are by swiping one across my palm. Turns out Dad noticed the problem yesterday and sharpened them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 190

You deserved it 53 534

Hang in there

By R Kelly's scapegoat - 10/12/2022 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was haunted by the knowledge that my father watched me slit my wrists without doing a damn thing or batting an eyelid, but when I took the steak knife to the breadboard to release my tension, he was so upset, he took the dog, drove to the east coast, and spent the night in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 692

Eye bleach

By deardaughter - 14/08/2019 06:00 - Australia

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my father trimming his pubes over the bin with our kitchen scissors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 111

By ILiveWithMorons - 12/04/2011 03:07 - United States

Today, my dad set my hair on fire while cooking. He then tried to convince me that it spontaneously combusted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 384

You deserved it 3 339

By fuck you, dad - 27/09/2012 18:36 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 688

You deserved it 6 305

By quit fucking up my life - 23/11/2013 01:08 - United States - Kenai

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 633

You deserved it 4 906

By Anonymous - 13/11/2012 10:00 - New Zealand - Wellington

Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 883

You deserved it 2 428

By francesa_loca - 14/10/2011 16:09 - Canada

Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 952

You deserved it 2 511

Heart of Glass

By blahblahblah - 15/04/2020 20:00

Today, I was sitting on a stool by the stove while my dad was making stir-fry. The glass lid he had covering the skillet overheated and exploded. As huge shards of broken glass rained down on his only daughter's head, my dad's only concern was whether or not he would have to throw his food away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 637

You deserved it 199

Running on fumes

By cerealfail - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I went to get a box of cereal and I knocked over a bottle of olive oil. It took me about half an hour to clean up. When I finally finished, I found out the box of cereal was empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 139

You deserved it 4 474

Hangryko 27

Saturday 19 November 2022 0:42

Bill him for the replacements as well as anything he uses in the future. He won't respect your property, he has to pay for it.

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Saturday 19 November 2022 17:53

It can be thin and long.

Comments

Hangryko 27

Saturday 19 November 2022 0:42

Bill him for the replacements as well as anything he uses in the future. He won't respect your property, he has to pay for it.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 19 November 2022 17:38

A crack can't be "giant" and "hairline" at the same time. It can be one or the other.

Earl_KarmasBitch 34

Saturday 19 November 2022 17:53

It can be thin and long.

RichardPencil 30

Sunday 20 November 2022 15:14

I should know, right? ;)

Wadlaen 23

Sunday 20 November 2022 0:03

Sounds like daddy needs a serious talk about a couple of things...

Kyle Stroud 1

Sunday 20 November 2022 5:07

Throw the entire dad out. He's defective.

Keywords

Music Party Awkward Love Students Exams Education Kids Dogs Animals Jealousy Embarrassing Work Annoying Coffee Scary Geek Boredom Fire Cheating Scams Break-ups Sex Intimacy Health Relatable Alcohol Family AITA Wake up

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