Today, I had to finally come to terms with the fact that I am obese when the doctor told me that my weird smell was not an infection but mold growing between my fat rolls. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent a ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds. FML
Today, I realized my morbidly obese, sweaty sibling is the source of a strange waft I've been smelling when I get home. He'll only shower once a week, so the apartment and furniture smell like sweat and sometimes poo, especially on hot days. I didn't notice until I went outside and stepped back in to follow my nose. FML
Today, I had to give a massage to an obese person with rank smelling fungus growing in between their skin folds. They tipped me two dollars. My hands still smell. FML
Today, I was so ashamed of my weight when I sat down and the suction of my thighs made a loud fart noise, I admitted to it being a fart rather than my fat rolls. FML
Today, my doctor informed me that my severe body odor has no cure, no treatments, and is caused by… eating food. Not any specific food, just food. So either I can stop eating entirely, or I can smell like rotting fish in an outhouse. FML
Today, while on lunch break, my fat, old co-worker walked into the break-room. I managed to block out his perverted heavy breathing, but had to leave when he began emitting a terrible odor that smelled like cheesy, sweaty molding feet. I barely held onto my lunch. FML
Today, after several days of deep-cleaning my house, I found a huge section of my room covered in black mold. I almost puked when I saw it. Not only could that have put anyone in the hospital, but it also explains why I've been getting sick all the time as of late. FML
Today, my mom finally believed me when I said I smelled mold. I lifted up the couch, and it was covered in mold. So were the bottoms of all our furniture, our beds, and my grandma's vintage chair. We've been living in mold for the past 4 months. FML
Today, I noticed a disgusting, cheesy smell and spent all day wondering what it was. I later found out that it wasn't coming from my feet, but from my belly button. My surgery wound got infected. I'm a germaphobe. FML
Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
At least you finally understand now. Sad that your smell is what convinced you rather than the diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep apnea, osteoarthritis, coronary artery disease, and stroke. Now if only I could figure out a way to make bad drivers stink so they finally realise they suck at driving...
icrest80 4
Time to hit the gym...and then the showers
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Comments (81)
mjacv2 5
Or common sense? Either way I you are too big that wouldn't work.
ohrlly7457 7
That stinks.
ObeyStudKing 4
Dude. How can you let yourself get like that? I have no sympathy for you. Loose some ******* weight.
riseagainstbabyy 4
You absolutely deserve it. Not only are you making yourself suffer, but the poor people who have to be around you too :(
emchocolat_fml 25
Sorry about all these snarky comments, OP. You're not just a body, and I'm betting you're probably a pretty great person. It's definitely worth talking to your doctor about how to sort both the obesity and the hygiene problems. He or she will have better answers than any random person who might comment here, whether or not they are trying to be helpful. We can't solve this for you because we can't see you and don't know you, and we don't have the medical skills to help you without knowing more about your situation.
klovely22 13
I just threw up in my mouth a little. Blegh!!
vero559 7
Wow. Sorry to hear that. Take it as motivation to get healthy :). Good luck
mpalmiter 0
Wow. I had no idea one could grow mold on the human body. Learn something new everyday. I could've went forever without this lesson. YDI
ElhonnaDS 10
You can be overweight and still be hygienic. Even if the OP has various complications that make losing weight difficult, that's not an excuse to not wash properly. There are showerheads that are handheld- you can absolutely wash yourself unless you are so obese that normal movement is severely impaired.
noisebox 1
Your going to have to be permenently submerged in a soapy watery container like an iron lung, until you decrease volume and mass levels, you can be nourished will an IV insure type product.,,