Kids: Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher... - FML

By wow - 23/06/2011 08:53 - France

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that no, the dishwasher didn't make the glasses shrink, I'd bought smaller glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 807

You deserved it 6 203

May weddings: Love and blunders
Weddings are supposed to be perfect, but our stories show that perfection can sometimes be... surprising! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Irony failure

By alcoholic - 31/10/2009 14:30 - Estonia

Today, I was telling my teenage daughter about the effects from alcohol, and how she should not give in to peer pressure. While talking, I noticed that she was looking at me funny. There was a wine glass in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 823

You deserved it 51 683

Psycho

By deadgirl - 15/05/2021 01:59

Today, I accidentally broke one of my mom’s favorite glasses while she was away. My dad saw and offered to tell her instead that he broke it, because, "let’s face it, if she knew it was you, she’d shove the glass shards down your fucking throat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 564

You deserved it 118

Get the message

By thelandofoz - 14/10/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, I noticed that my clothes had shrunk. My mother seemed to be having trouble with the new washer and dryer so I tried to show her exactly how they work. After my explanation she said, "I know how they work. I shrank your clothes to give you some incentive to lose all that belly you got." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 885

You deserved it 7 663

By Anony-moose - 11/10/2011 09:43 - United States

Today, I had to explain to a patient that no, her nipples were not slowly getting smaller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 142

You deserved it 2 571

By DeepFriedLettuce - 29/04/2016 01:33 - United States - Vashon

Today, I had to explain to my seventeen year-old daughter that deep frying food doesn't "melt the calories." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 442

You deserved it 1 518

By smarterthanmymum - 26/05/2011 09:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 266

You deserved it 2 984

By Anonymous - 30/03/2014 10:04 - United Kingdom - Romford

Today, I asked my daughter to buy me two pints of milk. Apparently, the shop only had four-pints, so she got that and poured half down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 773

You deserved it 6 912

Time out

By Starfucks - 17/12/2015 02:55 - United States - Bensalem

Today, I was in Starbucks with my daughter when she noticed a travel cup she liked. She picked one up and asked for it, but I said no because it was expensive. She angrily slammed it back into its stand and in the process, knocked over a display of ceramic mugs. I had to pay for each broken mug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 867

You deserved it 4 538

By Anonymous - 31/05/2016 15:30 - Canada - Saint John

Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 245

You deserved it 1 837

By Glassless - 26/05/2017 20:00

Today, I lost my glasses. I don't have spares but my girlfriend said I could borrow hers. She doesn't understand why this won't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 140

You deserved it 486

Next

Top comments

alki_fml 5

Thursday 23 June 2011 16:03

its not so cute when its your teenage daughter....maybe if it was a 5 year old..

enonymous 8

Thursday 23 June 2011 16:27

My glasses are made from 100% pure cotton... shrinks every time in the wash

Comments

josh12346 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 9:36

damn.

redmnky21 8

Saturday 25 June 2011 18:47

it may be time to start her education over and send her back to 1st grade

YouBetterGit 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 23:53

It says teenage daughter in the post, dummies.

bichtygurl 0

Sunday 26 June 2011 4:37

that's ok not Everyones a freaking genius I'm not

SalsaShark 2

Sunday 26 June 2011 18:25

your kid is a moron. Well done.

needsagf14 12

Tuesday 28 June 2011 5:14

public school

waywil 0

Tuesday 28 June 2011 5:20

Gonna go out on a limb here and say she is not the brightest student in her class...am I right?

astriofou 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 4:25

Hold on people. u gotta ask the question. is she blonde? i mean i get it if their blonde. my cousin's full blonde and has a masters degree. but she can be a bobble head sometimes.. but shes the best!

bobla456 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 7:48

How is this an FML it's more like a MKIFS .My Kid Is ******* Smart.

bruslywrestler 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 23:57

who is responsible for her education? oh that's right it's you

11
12
13
14
15

Keywords

Work Management Jealousy Love Mental health Relationship advice Relatable Awkward Miscellaneous Friends Healthy Lifestyle Health Food Ironic Mother in law Gifts Money Birthday Family Public freakouts Education Parents Pranks Students Exams Weird Argument AITA Fear Insects

The Top

Today, I found out I have syphilis. I only slept with one person in my entire life, my boyfriend of 2 years. When I told him about it, he burst into tears and said, "It was one time at a company party" and "Maybe if you put some Vagisil or something, it will go away." Seriously? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 941

You deserved it 137

Today, the bank called to ask when were we going to make the mortgage payments for our family home. We were several months late. I had been transferring my mother the cash to make the mortgage payments after she lost her money gambling. She absolutely promised she would stop several months ago. I guess she lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 1 621

The Top

Today, I was with my grandma in my new car. She suddenly says, "I've got to pee bad." Without giving me enough time to find a gas station, she blurts out, "Never mind, I just did." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 888

You deserved it 1 998

Today I was watching a gameplay of an Otome (a female dating sim game), where the main character tells her love interest that, “Tasty food is the simplest and most tangible happiness” and “Good food drives away sadness.” I have been half starving myself for 6 months because of body image issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 394

Today, my husband was arrested because a fox, fleeing from about a billion dogs and rich twats on horses, jumped through our car window, and cowered between my legs. He got out of the car, waded through the dogs, and pulled one of the twats off his horse into a puddle, ruining his red coat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 746

You deserved it 254

Today, I was working for my cousin. However, two weeks ago I found out my cousin's wife was cheating on him, through lying to her best friend. I told him, and he later told her. They've apparently made up, because I got fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 496

You deserved it 197

Today, I got kicked out of my favorite pub. I yelled at the group behind me for being annoying. They were extremely irritating, singing songs and cheering, but the manager decided to kick me out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 1 440

Today, I was on my bed on top of my boyfriend when I lost my balance and fell. My father walked in the door to see what the noise was. I don't know what is more embarrassing, my father walking in, or him walking in saying "Thats an expensive bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 638

You deserved it 10 577