Today, I had sex with this guy. His dad came upstairs and poked his head through the door right after we had finished, but were still naked in bed. All he said was, "No twins," and walked off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
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Top comments
cooltatgar 31
"Don't worry sir ... triplets it is"
Swandive235 27
At least he walked off, could have been a lot worse.
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Comments (53)
koganti 18
Nothing to say ( cause it's already said by your username). lol
chuka81 27
Having sex while your parents are at home. One thing I never did.
derangedplanet 23
You don't live on the edge enough. haha. no its actually a little bit of a buzz kill cuz every sound is a threat.
Silk_Routes 14
haa...crazy family
TheDevilsDevices 15
That's creepy AF
IronMan_Mk43 20
At least he didn't join in
quinn1184 25
I feel like if his mom walked in, it would've been a lot worse.
worldclassrager 41
One now one later...that should work for him
ThatGirl26 12
At least he wasn't having sex with another girl and cheat on you
littlekellilee 45
What relevance does that have to this FML? You may as well say "at least space debris didn't crash through the ceiling and kill you".
crownedcrazy 14
Idk but I think he was calling the girl flat chested...
rav3njustic3 18
no, it means no twins. as in kids. duh
djm2010 8
22, nothing gets passed you, does it?
killer0689 20
please do a favour on mankind and stop thinking...
BoltTheSuperdog 22
As if you can control whether or not you have twins.