Today, I had sex with this guy. His dad came upstairs and poked his head through the door right after we had finished, but were still naked in bed. All he said was, "No twins," and walked off. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML
Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML
Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend when my dad opened the door. I thought I hadn't been seen because the door was only open a tiny bit. I then looked into the mirror by the door to see my dad's reflection, staring at mine, horrified. I was on top. FML
Today, my dad came home from work early only to walk in on me and the boy I'm not supposed to be seeing having sex. Did I mention doggie style? FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had great sex and afterward decided to take a shower together. He left the room to get some towels, so I went to the bathroom and wait. I walked out of his room wearing nothing but a thong and ran into his mom who had come home from work early. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
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Top comments
cooltatgar 31
"Don't worry sir ... triplets it is"
Swandive235 27
At least he walked off, could have been a lot worse.
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Comments (53)
twinb76 7
Ew. That's incest. Why do so many men have a fetish for twins when it's incest??? Gross!!!
shitstorm28 11
he meant no HAVING twins. as in don't get knocked up.
deathmec 20
#26 - It must be hard being that stupid. How do you live like this?
Rababco 29
#26 This isn't Luke and Leia-type situation. He meant for OP not to get pregnant with twins so OP and her boyfriend would be like Anakin and Padme in this situation. I hope using Star Wars as an analogy helped you better understand the FML. :)
shitstorm28 11
Actually this could have been much worse.
dc2fresh 15
"This guy" YDI
JohnSmith100 1
That's awesome though lol
vikky538 29
I thought he come inside and pick some stuff and don't give a damn
Baurusdavinci 12
Wow :/
GhostFox 34
I have no clue what to say to this other than a request for explanation on what type of twins was meant, just to put the debate to rest.
B1ackFr1day 10
i feel like alot of these are meant to be funny but its kinda hard since you have to pit fml
katttt21 20
Why wasn't the door locked?
SMALL_SWOLE772 4
Best dad goes to him