Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML
Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me play porn while we were getting busy. The girl in the video said, "You don't need a condom, you can just pull out." I noticed she had a caesarean scar and burst out laughing. My girlfriend stormed out before I could explain. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML
Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened, he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML
Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML
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Top comments
citylights 0
hahahahahaha that is ******
Anony_fml 0
Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.
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Comments (1769)
djtelekinesis 0
I mean, on the one hand, you didn't wrap it up, which is dumb. But her keeping you in so you could get off inside her? That's some ****** up shit there.
kay188 0
This is some pretty hardcore kinky shit. Hahaha. Was she hot at least? LOL
Puolukka 4
Pulling out??? REALLY??? There's a word for people who rely on that method of contraception --> PARENTS! Man that was dumb...I mean what she did was ****** up...but you still deserved it for being so dumb
MasaMushia 0
Well, on the bright side. At least I'm not you. :D On an off note.. What kind of guy, who obviously sees himself in this kind of situation at.. i'd assume a party/club/whatever, doesn't bring a condom with him? F for failure D:
Zic_fml 7
wahahah... never bang arseholed!!!!11
Endymion_fml 0
This guy is obviously a moron.
Chibi_fml 9
Although considering that they were both drunk, I doubt this would happen, pulling out can actually be a legitimate form of contraception. When it's done *right* it actually has a pretty high rate of protection. Condoms and birth control don't always work one hundred percent, either. It's not fair to immediately say that pulling out never works.
400382 0
WHAT THE **** LOL
jazminbliss 2
damn, shes such a eff'd up bitch. But fyi there is this new thing called a CONDOM! get one...
Gringo_fml 0
She'll probably get the morning after pill if u were drunk, and if she remembers.