Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML
Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML
Today, I poured myself a glass of Coke from the bottle in the fridge. While drinking it, I saw tiny pieces floating in it. Apparently, my boyfriend had drunk straight from the bottle in the morning, felt sick and threw up. He then put the bottle back in the fridge. I just drank my boyfriend's vomit. FML
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Top comments
LadyGore 12
And that's when you throw it in his face after he hands it to you.
shaebayla 6
What the ****!
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Comments (96)
astralvagan 20
An easy way to get him back is to put your cold feet on his back in the middle of the night.... Or to just cut him off for a month or so
startrekker 3
Or just cut him.
SApprentice 34
11- No, those are not appropriate responses. What he has done is demeaning to his wife, and disgusting. He obviously doesn't respect her. The appropriate response would be to have a serious conversation with him, with the intent of pursuing either counseling or divorce. You don't just say, "Oh, silly husband, no sex for you for thirty days". Hell, the cold feet tactic could potentially be just considered cute and funny. He needs to be forced to recognize the severity of his actions, and what his actions say about his character.
HKCgrimmjow 15
29- got halfway through your comment and gave up -_____- just thought I'd share and tell anyone else who did that that their not alone
SApprentice 34
39- they're* Also, are you really proud of the fact that a few short lines of text is too much for you to handle?
astralvagan 20
You've obviously never had freezing cold feet put on your back in the middle of dead sleep.... But why don't you tell us, since you're so keen to police other people's responses, what OP should do in this case?
jamalamadingdong 18
She already explained what OP should do, apparently you couldn't finish her comment either.
crazytwinsmom 25
And on top of that, she's a grammar nazi. Tells everyone how to live and write.
gmc_blossom 21
68- Shut up, panda. You're a panda.
callie123amy 4
I agree, there usually would be no coming back from that but in this case there's a baby on its way so perhaps counseling will help.
crazytwinsmom 25
Don't be hatin on a panda.
laden_swallow09 35
We be hatin' cuz you be trippin', ya damn speciesist. But seriously, is it really so difficult for you and 39 to use proper and sensible English? You deserve every correction coming to you as much as anyone.
crazytwinsmom 25
FML is supposed to be for entertainment and fun. But it's not when a bunch of kids nitpick everyone's grammar. Typos happen and not everyone is so anal retentive to worry about it.
Fuzzidio 2
148 - Welcome to the Internet.
caplox 6
That's disgusting. At least you found out before you drank it.
zango1 15
I'm not sure disgusting is the right word. Disrespectful perhaps. If she's pregnant with his kid then they've probably shared far grosser bodily fluids than saliva.
peachesncreem 21
If OP's husband spat in this drink, I wonder how many other times he has spat in her food/drink?
Brotha_Lou 5
Well she can always take a piss in his orange juice. Wouldn't know the difference.
rhidiculous 4
he's not done putting his fluids into your body....congrats on the pregnancy though!
kniggit 10
It would be more of a cause for congratulations if he didn't do this.
RinaVampire31 18
Wow..
KVKdragon 26
Wow. What is he is so mad about that warrants him to do that to your drink? :(
russfml 31
Probably the fact that she is probably pregnant lol. I know whenever a chick says she's feeling sick the next morning it's the scariest thing a guy can hear
cameraman97 4
If the drink was alcohol - why would you want to drink if you had morning sickness?
trp2wondrland 9
Where do u read she was drinking alcohol?! I sip water or peppermint tea when I am nauseated.
pink_raindrops 26
Who said anything about the drink being alcohol?
BulldogHoops 14
Wow, you must be a real boozehound to think that "drink" automatically implies alcohol.
BellaBelle_fml 23
On top of what others have already stated, are you not aware of the fact that good mothers/future mothers and those who actually respect the child's health that they are carrying in their body shouldn't and wouldn't drink alcohol during their pregnancy?
bettykooler 7
-.- she's also pregnant soo your assumption is completely wrong.
BulldogHoops 14
It's unfortunate for 96 that she got to the FML 6 hours late, but got beaten to her comment by three minutes
RoboCunnilingus 23
Ask him to drink it first.
hama806 19
Why would she care if he did that? It's his spit, not hers.
chinagirl3343 8
Guess what, he doesn't love you. If he did, he would never do that.
poindexter25 5
Calm down it was probably just a gross prank
SApprentice 34
25- It's much more than just a gross prank. Only a very pathetic man and husband would spit into his pregnant wife's drink.
green2go 14
Chill don't get your panties in a wad
raycj 1
Tell him the baby isn't really his!
happle 21
Brilliant.
3rdbass 9
Go 'head Maury! Axe hur, axe hur!
day624 14
How rude!