Today, I had awful morning sickness, and I asked my husband if he'd get me a drink while I went to the bathroom. On the way back, I witnessed him spitting in the glass. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML
Today, I was having horrible morning sickness. I was violently throwing up, could hardly breathe, and was gasping for air between each round of puking. My husband, in the other room playing video games, snapped and shouted, "Why can't you just be quiet?!" FML
Today, suffering from severe morning sickness followed by cravings for salty food, I had stacked our fridge with yummy snacks. When finally emerging from our bathroom after retching this morning, I found out my husband had eaten all my snacks the night before. FML
Today, I hired a babysitter, so my husband and I could spend some time together and work on our failing marriage. I dressed up. We went out. He got drunk and puked on me. FML
Today, my morning sickness got so bad that, while at the grocery store, I had to throw up in my purse. FML
Today, I was violently throwing up due to severe morning sickness. My boyfriend looked at me, then turned and walked away. In the end, my daughter gave me some paper towel and her juice. My 18-month-old is more supportive of my pregnancy than her 30-year-old father. FML
Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML
Today, I've been horribly sick with a stomach virus. Six hours ago, I asked my husband to go to the store and get me a few things that would help ease my misery. He's still in bed and I'm cleaning the house in between bouts of vomiting. FML
Today, I poured myself a glass of Coke from the bottle in the fridge. While drinking it, I saw tiny pieces floating in it. Apparently, my boyfriend had drunk straight from the bottle in the morning, felt sick and threw up. He then put the bottle back in the fridge. I just drank my boyfriend's vomit. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
LadyGore 12
And that's when you throw it in his face after he hands it to you.
shaebayla 6
What the ****!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (96)
anedderm 4
Seriously, lying about paternity is just childish. The only time it's a good thing is if your significant other puts you or your child in harms way on purpose. Sorry this was meant as a reply to a post
souljacker 11
Maybe he is sick of your constant whining and treating pregnancy like it is a debilitating illness?
love_me_electric 20
You've clearly never been pregnant before and are probably a man, so you have no room to talk. I bet if you had the flu and were throwing up constantly you would be 'whining' too.
Hamcons 1
It is definite a sign of disrespect but it isn't as "gross" as people make it out. You kiss this person and I am sure you have had other fluids in your mouth from him. Piss in his drink next time and call it even.
callie123amy 4
Maybe he doesn't get morning sickness and thinks your throwing up because your pregnant with his child. Either way he doesn't sound like keeper.
MrSStrupe514 0
He probably hates when u spit too. Learn to swallow that shit and maybe he will too. ;)
alycion 39
I forgot which sitcom had the husband spotting in the wife's drink either while she was pregnant or after a family death that shut her down and caused her to be a demanding bitch. Not saying it is the right way to handle it, or this is even the case, but some women become psychos when pregnant and refuse to do anything for themselves. Sometimes husbands snap under the pressure. Though disengaging from the situation and going out to do something if you can't talk to your wife without having your head chopped off would be a better way of dealing. Even if op was one of the ones who turned into a monster, that was still wrong. Sounds like something siblings do to each other when they are 5, not spouses.
ruby5173 1
That's awful! He deserves a kick in the shins.
BlackRogue 8
His name isn't Issei Sagawa by any chance is it?! (Sagawa is a murderer/cannibal who dreams about drowning in saliva... Can anyone say psychopath?)
alissa_roar 6
It wouldn't be okay for my friend to spit in anything I was about to eat or drink, much less my husband. Disrespectful, rude, and just plain mean.
vbmg152 19
Divorce time! If hell do that, you don't know what he might do to an innocent baby. Or you!