Health: Today, I had an appointment with a psychotherapist. I was feeling...

By troubled - 04/11/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I had an appointment with a psychotherapist. I was feeling very depressed and was telling her how I felt no one cared about me. Her phone rang and she left me mid-sentence to take a call about her new BMW. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 689

You deserved it 3 736

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By irresponsible - 14/08/2010 20:41 - United States

Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 921

You deserved it 8 844

By Anonymous - 26/02/2014 03:50 - United States - La Grange

Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 488

You deserved it 16 600

By Anonymous - 25/02/2018 13:00 - United States - New Hyde Park

Today, my younger brother, who still lives in our parents' basement and has never held a job in his life, announced that his girlfriend is pregnant with their third child. I'm a college graduate living on my own and I've never even had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 672

You deserved it 755

By meowcat101 - 21/08/2010 04:05 - Canada

Today, my dad decided to take me to play golf to relieve the stress of recovering from a bad concussion. While teaching me to swing, he hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 227

You deserved it 3 226

Monster couch

By smurfette7413 - 13/10/2020 05:01

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a little fun when the pull-out couch decided to try to eat us. Now I have a broken nose and my boyfriend keeps making jokes about the "human eating couch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 165

By backwardsinlife - 05/10/2009 18:53 - United States

Today, while in the drive-through for Taco Bell, I hit the car behind me after forgetting my car was in reverse. It was in reverse because I was worried the old lady in front of me was going to forget she was in reverse. She didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 397

You deserved it 45 456

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 11:13 - India

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 859

You deserved it 6 027

By Anonymous - 09/07/2019 20:00

Today, I woke my boyfriend up at 7 a.m. to have sex. I thought the sex was great, but later he kept complaining, "I can't believe you woke me up so early." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 850

You deserved it 710

By Anonymous - 12/06/2011 19:21 - United States

Today, my dad told me he has money set aside for when he has to bail me out of jail because "it's bound to happen sooner or later." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 580

You deserved it 10 724

By nickthetank - 31/12/2011 09:21 - Canada

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 827

You deserved it 12 203

By Sydney - 15/01/2013 23:16 - United States - Houston

Today, I told my mom we get Monday off due to Martin Luther King Jr. day. She then insisted that I had to go to school because that is "only for black people." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 017

You deserved it 2 973

By Anonymous - 02/11/2014 06:30 - United States - River Falls

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 124

You deserved it 3 311

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 1 944

By little tooth - 06/11/2008 13:39 - France

Today, my wisdom teeth decided to come in. I didn't know that being wise could hurt so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 840

You deserved it 9 325

By UnluckyJulie - 02/11/2009 06:12 - United States

Today, it was my 17th birthday. I didn't want my family to spend money on a cake, so my dad made this delicious apple ring. At least, it was great until my mouth began to itch and my throat closed. I have been allergic to nuts since birth, and my dad put walnuts in my birthday cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 260

You deserved it 2 686

By kimhinesvoinea - 07/04/2013 12:07 - United States

Today, I took multiple pictures of my blanket and pillow pet, trying to get the "perfect pose" so I could post it on Facebook with a cheesy joke. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 412

You deserved it 43 568

By Anonymous - 04/01/2009 21:43 - France

Today, on her Facebook profile, my ex erased all the pictures where we were together, add her new boyfriend to her friends and changed her status to "I'm so happy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 251

You deserved it 6 723

By Anonymous - 29/12/2012 23:17 - United States

Today, I checked my sister's diary, because I was worried about her recent angry and withdrawn behavior. She caught me in the act, and my mom, whom I've caught blatantly snooping through my stuff multiple times now, grounded me for my "disgusting" violation of my sister's privacy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 956

You deserved it 36 819

By Anonymous - 14/02/2013 20:23 - Germany

Today, my girlfriend bought herself a brand new iPad and iPod Touch, and returned my aging iPod and Kindle, which she constantly steals for her own use. She considers it my Valentine's Day present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 816

You deserved it 3 813

By Anonymous - 23/09/2015 08:51 - United Kingdom - Bargoed

Today, my ex came out as transgender. I had absolutely no problem with this, in fact I celebrated her bravery. What I did have a problem with was all my friends immediately assuming that this was the reason I broke up with her, and not that she'd cheated on me for 6 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 085

You deserved it 1 880

By unknown - 07/04/2013 04:26 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 736

You deserved it 5 310

By Anonymous - 11/11/2010 04:32 - United States

Today, I decided to sleep in for 5 extra minutes. Those 5 extra minutes became 55 minutes, which, coincidentally, was roughly the length of the midterm I missed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 589

You deserved it 35 702

By SeeTony - 19/11/2009 07:33 - United States

Today, I decided to begin jogging since my weight was getting a little out of control and I wanted to do something about it. Guess who tripped on a root and broke their ankle? Yeah. Exactly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 812

You deserved it 5 492

By soldierboy - 30/08/2010 00:39 - United States

Today, after nearly 2 years of continuous fighting in Afghanistan, my unit came home. We were booed at the airport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141 521

You deserved it 13 682

By Nikki - 05/04/2009 03:40 - United States

Today, I was in IKEA, furniture shopping with my dad. He was looking at one couch that was particularly small. I said "dad that couch is for like a midget." I look over to see a midget looking at me, sitting on the same couch in a different color. He definitely heard me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 751

You deserved it 67 329

By Cassie - 21/05/2011 07:44 - United States

Today, my crush and I were talking on the phone and we were really hitting it off. We got on the subject of sex and I told him I have a purity ring. Then he suddenly said he had to go and hang up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 868

You deserved it 47 168

By sammarli530 - 29/05/2013 16:24 - United States - New Lenox

Today, after calling the insurance plan for my new iPhone a "huge waste of money", I promptly dropped it in the store while trying to put it into my pocket, cracking the screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 758

You deserved it 52 067

By fml - 10/08/2013 10:48 - United States - Perry

Today, my new husband and I were called up to have our first dance at our wedding. While I rested my head on his shoulder, he whispered the most romantic thing to me: "Your breath stinks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 556

You deserved it 12 240

By BCBUDDY - 07/05/2011 15:29 - United States

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 407

You deserved it 91 695

By btg - 06/02/2010 06:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my girlfriend feeds her boogers to our dog. Sometimes she even makes her do tricks for them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 119

You deserved it 3 509

By JazzyandAlice - 20/09/2009 06:06 - United States

Today, I went to babysit eight kids under the age of ten, all by myself. After five hours of Hell, the parents finally came back from the ASU game. I got paid $5. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 881

You deserved it 7 118

By Username - 12/11/2010 14:46 - United States

Today, I contacted a girl who dropped her ID at a club last night. I offer to drive 2 hours to return her ID to her. She is thrilled. When I arrive, she gives me a strange look, takes the ID, and runs back into her house. A two hour drive without even a thank you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 239

You deserved it 13 675

By disgusted - 19/09/2012 00:42 - United States - Herndon

Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 589

You deserved it 2 004

By SilverZephyr - 16/01/2015 12:49 - United States - Marion

Today, I asked out a girl that I've liked for a while. She thought I was joking and laughed, saying, "No. Have you met yourself?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 594

You deserved it 3 446

By very punny - 03/09/2014 03:18 - United States - Odenton

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend with a ring from Kay Jewelers. She saw the box, started giggling, whispered, "'Kay", and then started laughing so hard at her joke she had to excuse herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 541

You deserved it 6 397

Golden shower

By Anonymous - 08/11/2019 03:00

Today, I had my first golden shower. Too bad it was from my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 362

By crazycora - 13/12/2010 19:32 - Belgium

Today, I woke up to my kids shaking me, saying, "Get up, Santa was here!" I got up to find my TV, computer and MacBook Air all gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 219

You deserved it 3 510

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 17:41 - United States

Today, I was drawing while on the train, when a very good-looking woman looked at my work and said, "Wow, she's pretty. Is it supposed to be me?" She said it in a flirty tone, but before I could stop myself, I'd said "nah, it's just a generic face". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 349

You deserved it 10 713

By johnfrank - 26/03/2009 17:11 - United States

Today, I was on a blind date with a girl my friend set me up with. We went to a fancy restaurant and she ordered the shrimp. I told her, "I'm allergic to shrimp, so you shouldn't order it in case I want to kiss you later." She looked at the waiter and said, "I'll have the shrimp." FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 614

You deserved it 35 233

By itwasajoke - 25/12/2016 21:23

Today, I ran into an old friend for whom I used to have feelings. I hadn't seen her in years, so I thought it would be funny if I went up to her and said, "Hey, you look familiar, do I know you?" She thought I had really forgotten her and burst into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 375

You deserved it 2 312

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Top comments

SaintJimmy 0

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 12:13

One of my friends has a T-Shirt proclaiming that they take the 'the' out of psychotherapist.

Mr_Eated 0

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 13:40

Totally out of line. Her phone should be off during a session. I'd let her know that you would appreciate her full attention during sessions, as you're paying a lot of money for it.

SaintJimmy 0

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 12:13

One of my friends has a T-Shirt proclaiming that they take the 'the' out of psychotherapist.

Ohnothingreally 0

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 15:31

Now that is hilarious. Psycho rapist. Haha. XD

americayay 0

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Thursday 5 November 2009 4:58

It's not really that clever. I've heard it many times. A little cliche even. OP: Just don't pay the therapist and leave.

Gahhreg 0

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Thursday 5 November 2009 5:12

fake... a professional wouldn't leave a client in the middle of their appointment.

omg_a_BALLOON 0

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Saturday 18 June 2011 15:49

I'm so late

Jimboom 11

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 12:18

Shiny new BMW tops whiney self obsessed person every time. Though I do hope you made sure he didn't charge you for the session at least.

Kylias 6

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 16:29

Every time... ... Unless you're a therapist. c:

TheTruth1428 0

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 17:16

#2 you're an idiot. It's the therapists job to help out a person in need even if they are just whining, that's what they're getting paid for. She was rude to the OP and the OP should have walked out then and there and found a new therapist. OP FYL for what happened. Hopefully you walked out and never go back to her. You should also think about filing a formal complaint or, in the least, make it clear to others that she's a horrible therapist and get her name out there for what she's done. I know there are websites and newspaper articles in my area all the time written by patients that tell you how the doctors treated them, maybe you should look into one of them.

Sun_Kissed18 25

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 17:35

wow TheTruth1428.... it was a joke. Way to take it seriously

rhymethyme 0

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 12:37

For someone treating depression, That's a pretty big indiscretion. I say to be happy, Tell her she's crappy, And refuse to pay for the session!

greenltrn2003 0

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 20:44

this is pretty freakin awesome...but I think this is a ripoff of that 'iReply with lyrics' chick but yours are original (right?) which makes you cooler

rhymethyme 0

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Thursday 5 November 2009 0:18

Probably a rip-off. But it's fun. I can see why iReply does it.

LilKonvicted 0

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 12:38

Well that's kinda fucked up isnt it. It's they're job you know.. :X

WinterBlue42 22

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Wednesday 2 July 2014 12:09

I'm willing to bet the lady was in it only for the money, rather than any actual care or interest in peoples mental well-being. :/

Mx_Rider 6

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 12:40

NUMBER~4 haha dude i was like that rhymed till i saw ur name i was like ohhh hah sick shit kuddos to number 4 :D

rhymethyme 0

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 14:25

Thank you, thank you very much ^^

wartorn_fml 0

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Wednesday 7 July 2010 15:43

lol true

liveBabylon 0

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 12:45

I thought theres a rule you can't answer phone calls? When I had one I wasn't even whinny I was always just telling her about my day and they neever ever answered a call!

greendaygirl999 5

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Tuesday 25 May 2010 3:47

My moms a therapist and I know for a fact that they are not allowed to answer their phone during sessions, especially personal calls. This FML is clearly fake.

moonsolomon 0

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 12:57

You seem to have a knack for the limerick, #4. (This was supposed to be a reply, but the site broke a little)

rhymethyme 0

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 14:27

Lymrics: my anti-drug I also owned waaaay too many Dr Sues books as a child

rhymethyme 0

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Thursday 5 November 2009 0:23

Okay agreed

Mr_Eated 0

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 13:40

Totally out of line. Her phone should be off during a session. I'd let her know that you would appreciate her full attention during sessions, as you're paying a lot of money for it.

Galex7471 4

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 14:57

Agreed. That's extremely unprofessional behavior and you should probably look into getting a new doctor.

NorfolkDude 2

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Wednesday 4 November 2009 13:59

Hahahha, that's nothing. One time I went in, and talked about feeling depressed and lonely, and then the guy pulled a 7-11 bag out and ate a candy bar and soda like it was a movie. lol.