Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, I came home from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to get me a glass of water. She replied, "You can get it, you're not crippled. Oh wait, yeah you are!" and laughed hysterically. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML
Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML
Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML
Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML
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Top comments
kateheartswaffle 0
She sounds..nice?
Samberriee 9
Go for her Achilles next time, dawg.
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Comments (184)
alexup24 13
you should've clothes lined her...
VaGino432 0
op's more than likely just a giant pansy, I hyper-extended my knee in the middle of sparring and was still able to knock my opponent out with a roundhouse. needless to say I felt it the next day but he point is, pain is psychological. hoorah for endorphins.
zombicidal 11
woah we got a bad ass over here
THE_A_TEEN 27
Well good for ******* you. Any more one-up life stories for our amusement?
BrickWalls 2
Yea zombicidal A Bad Ass Mother ****** But yeah Vagino you're so cool your face makes everything die And I do believe I now hate you. Forever.
teague95 16
Pain is psychological? tear your ACL and tell me that's psychological you can't block that shit out
Katastrophe101 8
No, 26 I'm pretty sure physical injuries are painful. But thanks for playing.
AcidLacedBong 5
Your mom is awesome! Besides she's older so her bladder needs relieved more often!
sniperkit 10
Pain is psycological? I guess I should have remembered that when I broke my arm during a volleyball game in high school.
xXRazelleLuniiXx 9
Cool story bro. Please, tell it again.
TexasMud 8
So who cleaned up the mess?
dhardesty23 8
I mean she has a sense of humor I guess? but that was pretty bitchy to do
perdix 29
"and you're probably going to die before me . . . but not before I choose your nursing home, heh-heh-heh."
TheJester12 15
this is when you bludgeon the laughter out of her with your gimp leg, have some pride OP
MeLuvBewbs 7
When she's on her period and yelling, say, "At least I don't have cramps today!"
asian25 10
you should have tripped her with your limped leg duhhhh! dumbass.....smh
Red_Wing_Nut44 14
Sounds like a shitty-*gets shot*
xXRazelleLuniiXx 9
with an arrow?
kittenvks 11
I honestly thumbed you up solely because of your profile pic though the comment was ok too :)
ImInYourFACEbook 8
Well this is a knee slapper! :)