Today, I had a swollen knee, and was slowly limping to the toilet. All of a sudden, my mom ran past me, beating me to it. As she closed the door, she said, "AT LEAST I CAN RUN!" FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my mother called me urgently from the kitchen. Thinking she was hurt, I ran to her as fast as possible. She threw a wet cloth at my head and ran away, laughing her face off. FML
Today, I came home from a knee surgery. I asked my mother to get me a glass of water. She replied, "You can get it, you're not crippled. Oh wait, yeah you are!" and laughed hysterically. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, as I was walking home, I saw an ambulance pull into my driveway with its sirens blaring. Thinking it could be for my sick father, I started frantically sprinting. I managed to trip on my pant-leg, twisting my ankle in the process. They were just turning around in my driveway. FML
Today, I had debilitating stomach cramps and told my mom, but she said she was too tired to take me to the ER. I had appendicitis. Thanks Mom. FML
Today, I went on a run. Going a decent pace, I passed a woman walking her dog. I joked, "C'mon! Keep up!" Thirty feet later I stepped in mud, rolled my ankle and fell. The woman walked by as I lay in agony, and told me to keep up. FML
Today, I broke my toe and screamed, "Fuck!" My mom heard and yelled at me for swearing, while I laid on the floor in pain. FML
Today, I walked across my kitchen to go get my mom a blanket after she shoveled snow. I slipped and caught the kitchen chair with my side, landed on the floor and almost fracturing my knee cap. She then told me she wasn't cold. FML
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Top comments
kateheartswaffle 0
She sounds..nice?
Samberriee 9
Go for her Achilles next time, dawg.
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Comments (184)
aquaeyedsiren 0
that's when you get her back the way my bf does. sneak in there when she's showering and take a mean, nasty crap then quickly leave, allowing the "aroma" to spread. >=)
nerdy96birdy 8
She sounds awesome
msanch_4 5
Ur mom is cool.
BrushedRed 0
You're gonna be the butt of "Arrow to the knee" jokes. I one walked normal.. then I took an arrow to the knee
Jirekianu2 19
Do your business in the hallway. "least I ain't a bitch."
kayteebuggah 0
Just take a dump/ pee in the hall and when she yells at you say "that's what you get" and limp away
rummzy 6
Atleast you didnt take An arrow To the knee hahaha sorry Someone had do say it =( not trying to be mean, I hope you get better though! =)
SkoomaKi 27
Fair play, that's when you put butter on the bathroom floor when she comes out. Then when she beats you to the toilet again, she falls and gets a limp ^.^
CougeeSwagg 19
Bitch