Love: Today, I had a date over for the first time since I moved out....

By :/ - 05/04/2015 00:44 - United States - Groton

Today, I had a date over for the first time since I moved out. I made a beautiful dinner… for one of us. I'm so used to cooking for just myself that I only made one serving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 450

You deserved it 11 134

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Same thing different taste

The best laid plans…

By Anonymous - 03/02/2023 18:00

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by cooking her dinner. I spent hours preparing and making sure everything was perfect. I lit candles, set the table, and even put on some soft music. When she came home, she'd already eaten and wasn't hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 144

By Anonymous - 26/09/2009 14:24 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in nearly a year. A few minutes into the meal, he called me "scrumptious" and made animal noises for the rest of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 165

You deserved it 3 324

Great date night

By Anonymous - 24/03/2022 06:01

Today, a coworker invited me out for a date, totally out of the blue. I had no idea she liked me, but I did my best to impress. She ordered the most expensive steak on the menu, two bottles of wine, and eventually picked up and went home with our waiter. I got the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 803

You deserved it 186

By Anonymous - 09/03/2011 16:07 - Canada

Today, I went on a dinner date with the guy I like. He ate all his food then started eating off my plate, going on to eat over half of my food. When the bill came, he made me pay for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 237

You deserved it 7 453

Kitchen Nightmares

By cook for yourself dammit! - 12/07/2020 14:01

Today, tired of my husband complaining that my food was basic and bland, I went out of my way to learn to cook using new recipes and fresh ingredients. He complained that I took too long to make dinner, and that the food is "fancied up shit." He can cook his own meals now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 694

You deserved it 205

By Anonyme - 06/04/2019 02:00

Today, I went on a date for the first time in ages, only to realize that the guy I was seeing chose to take us to a specific restaurant in able to stalk his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 307

You deserved it 152

Cook out

By Anonymous - 28/01/2023 12:30

Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML

I agree, your life sucks 674

You deserved it 433

He had to find out eventually!

By Telley21 - 16/02/2017 06:00 - United States - Rexburg

Today, I made my boyfriend a beautiful dinner of seafood and rice. This was the first time I could afford lobster, and thought it would be a great treat for us both. I learned that this was the first time he has eaten lobster, and he learned that he is allergic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 204

You deserved it 506

By Anonymous - 30/07/2013 01:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 248

You deserved it 3 694

By Anonymous - 31/12/2008 03:21 - France

Today, my first and only true date ended with the girl saying, "Thanks for dinner, I was hungry - and oh, by the way, I'm a lesbian." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 051

You deserved it 2 491

ZelmaSlayer 30

Sunday 5 April 2015 16:43

Give it to her to show her how selfless you are :)

Soloman212 28

Sunday 5 April 2015 23:05

"Go ahead and eat. I'll just be here.... Watching..." *OP licks lips.*

Comments

pacman490 21

Monday 6 April 2015 0:25

A dinner for one for two. Nice.

LPisLame 16

Monday 6 April 2015 2:55

Simple mistake. I'm sure they found it adorable. Lol.

RhineBl 17

Monday 6 April 2015 5:18

Hey, make it romantic and eat it together! :)

crazyneighbor 12

Monday 6 April 2015 10:24

Haha yep give her the food, and take that pussy!

Zeishah 26

Monday 6 April 2015 11:24

Not if your someone like Joey

uchihadesendent 14

Monday 6 April 2015 17:54

awww op I don't know who you are but I'd give you a hug :)

eloishiehehehe 7

Tuesday 7 April 2015 5:25

I may be jealousy myself

cxlvin 10

Tuesday 7 April 2015 11:31

At least you can cook

Psychedilly 0

Wednesday 8 April 2015 4:37

People wonder why I don't "put myself out there more". This is a fairly ******* good example.

Psychedilly 0

Wednesday 8 April 2015 4:39

What guy would wanna have dinner with me and my false teeth anyway? FMLx100

Keywords

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The Top

Today, during sex, I was getting close to climax, which is unusual for me due to personal issues. However, I got a piercing headache and had to stop. I later found out my birth control can cause sex headaches and the best way to avoid them is to avoid orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 517

You deserved it 181

Today, I was flirting with this cute girl from Croatia who is part of the my exchange group in Holland. After a few beers and some smooth talking, she led me inside to a closed off room. We were about to have sex when her boyfriend of two years called and proposed to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 840

You deserved it 22 215

The Top

Today, I was woken up in the middle of the night by an alarm on my phone going off. Thinking it was warning me of an incoming weather emergency, I checked it. It was a Silver Alert near me. Why wake me up for this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 457

Today, my boyfriend saw me without make-up for the first time we've been dating for two years. He freaked because he didn't know who I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 2 649

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methamphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year-old father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 293

You deserved it 3 427

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me, saying, "I'm not ready for a serious relationship." We're supposed to get married in a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 573

You deserved it 3 723

Today, I got the ending to Breaking Bad spoiled for me by a cashier while I was buying the final season box-set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 888

You deserved it 4 267

Today, my boyfriend ditched me, saying he had some important things to do. When I checked on him a while later, I found out what was so "important". A game called Robot Unicorn Attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 828

You deserved it 9 468