Today, I had a CT scan done with contrast. My tech seemed competent... - FML

By pincushion - 31/12/2016 05:47 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I had a CT scan done with contrast. My tech seemed competent in his job so I wasn't nervous, until he tried to start my IV. It took him 3 attempts to get it right. Not only was I stuck 3 times, he also blew one of my veins. I now have severely bruised arms and what look like track marks. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20018

You deserved it

1611

Tweet

Share

Serious times

Oh, he's a "Nice Guy"

Bad news

By jacked - 2/10/2009 23:32 - United States

Today, I was taking a group shot with my friends when I asked a stranger to take the picture for us. He backed up and told us to squish closer together, and when he was at least 20 feet away, he turned and ran off with my camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35088

You deserved it

18445

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/8/2009 05:25 - United States

Today, a friend and I drove all the way from Texas to a small town in Colorado to spend an entire uninterrupted night together. Not only did he forget to bring condoms but everything was closed by the time we got into town. We ended up playing cards on the bed instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18372

You deserved it

45763

Tweet

Share

By neverdrivingagain - 4/7/2009 02:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent hours arguing with my mother, who claimed I shouldn't make a three hour drive because I wouldn't be able to concentrate for that long. I argued that I was a perfectly capable driver, and left. In the last 2 minutes of the journey, I hit a van and messed up the front of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15796

You deserved it

40239

Tweet

Share

By - 30/5/2019 23:30 - India - Pune

Send help!

Today, I've managed to lock myself in my own bedroom. It won't open no matter what I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1448

You deserved it

348

Tweet

Share

By nope - 29/3/2020 14:00

Influencers know no bounds

Today, my wife and I got into a massive argument after she started a YouTube channel for our young daughter. I explained that I’m not comfortable with god knows who looking at our kid. Apparently, I’m just being paranoid. She’s already recorded our entire house, including my daughter's bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2269

You deserved it

138

Tweet

Share

By W1D0 - 20/8/2011 06:23 - United States

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

38953

You deserved it

5010

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

I agree, your life sucks

66884

You deserved it

4159

Tweet

Share

By Random Person - 21/11/2010 05:31 - United States

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant downtown with my brother in-law when I told him I couldn't eat any more. He then told me, "You better, or you're walking home." He wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27321

You deserved it

3468

Tweet

Share

By fuckyoudeadgunnuts - 4/9/2015 14:30 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I met my Canadian friend at the airport. As we were heading into the city, I told him not to worry about all the US stereotypes and that gun crime in my city is rare. A few hours later, we witnessed a guy get shot in the street in broad daylight. Now he's too scared to leave the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26653

You deserved it

2794

Tweet

Share

By infected - 30/12/2011 21:37 - Denmark

Today, I had a snowball fight with a friend. In the midst of the game, I stole her hat and put it on my head, ignoring her pleas. Apparently, she was trying to say she had head lice. I can now verify that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10602

You deserved it

43428

Tweet

Share

By "lildale92" - 5/11/2019 02:00

So cute

Today, my youngest decided my phone needed a bath in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1653

You deserved it

267

Tweet

Share

By teacher - 7/9/2014 21:05 - United States - Apo

Today, I started my first teaching job ever. As I was teaching, another teacher interrupted my class about 5 times because she thought it was her class. Not only did she ruin my confidence, her behavior caused my students to laugh at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39533

You deserved it

2949

Tweet

Share

By JoeBidenIsMyFIL - 2/3/2020 18:00

Boundaries, dude!

Today, I had to physically restrain my girlfriend from assaulting my father after he drunkenly poked her in the ribs for the fifth time. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1397

You deserved it

324

Tweet

Share

By Please go home - 5/4/2019 00:00

Today, has been the third week my boyfriend's best friend has been sleeping on our bedroom floor because he doesn't want to face the consequences of his actions back at his parents' place. My boyfriend sees no problem with this, and says he can stay and live off us as long as he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2138

You deserved it

262

Tweet

Share

By knickersdontfit - 26/1/2011 17:44 - United States

Today, I was doing my grocery shopping, absent-mindedly wondering if my new diet was working. I got my answer when my panties fell down around my ankles. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28815

You deserved it

8053

Tweet

Share

By grannygirlfriend - 6/12/2011 17:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted the reason he was dating me was because he has a fetish for grandmothers and apparently I look, smell, and act like one. FML

I agree, your life sucks

36182

You deserved it

5060

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 29/3/2015 13:33 - Philippines - Philippine

Today, I found out the fund-raiser my uncle ran to raise money for his cancer treatment was all a sham, that he doesn't even have cancer, and that the money was to fund a coke habit nobody knew he even had. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34721

You deserved it

2367

Tweet

Share

By Itstheapocalypse - 26/11/2017 19:00

Today, while performing a therapeutic massage, I dropped my clients head, shuddered, and jumped away. Why? I watch too much Walking Dead and when I lifted her head to stretch her neck, her soft breathing sounded like a zombie. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1330

You deserved it

2966

Tweet

Share

By Dummy - 1/4/2018 15:00

Happy Easter!

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom with no toilet paper in a family member’s house. I looked around and found baby wipes. I was saved! Unfortunately, they were actually Clorox wipes. The bleach gave me a chemical burn in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3658

You deserved it

1382

Tweet

Share

By grizzlybear - 27/6/2011 05:55 - Mexico

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I had a penis, our relationship would be better. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52958

You deserved it

6964

Tweet

Share

By lamesauce - 15/2/2009 10:32 - Canada

Today, I went on a coffee date with a guy I'm interested in. He picked up his phone mid-date to finalize dinner plans with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks

42716

You deserved it

3035

Tweet

Share

By foxyreegan - 4/2/2012 05:22 - United States

Today, I choked on my saliva during a medical interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25827

You deserved it

3401

Tweet

Share

By nomorepups - 31/10/2016 14:54

Today, I adopted my second dog. When I called to tell my mom about it, she sternly told me that I was not allowed to get any more dogs. I'm 28 and own my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11413

You deserved it

998

Tweet

Share

By charlieday - 21/9/2009 16:34 - United States

Today, my girlfriend asked if she should get birthcontrol, of course I said yes and offered to pay the 55 dollar fee. She got her physical and pills and then dumped me the next day. I basically paid 55 dollars so that she can sleep with other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30972

You deserved it

4234

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/6/2012 14:17 - Canada - Cochrane

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35912

You deserved it

3261

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 6/9/2010 00:29 - United States

Today, my doctor told me I had "abnormally large breasts." This wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't a 20 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33406

You deserved it

7699

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 17/6/2013 17:52 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53162

You deserved it

3298

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 28/5/2018 15:00

Understandable.

Today, I found out that the dream in which I drunkenly phoned my boss and called him a "fat useless piece of shit" actually did happen. I woke up to 10 missed calls and 5 angry texts stating I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1495

You deserved it

3036

Tweet

Share

By hey-ooo - 28/10/2009 01:15 - United States

Today, I was sitting in the cafeteria with my friends when I suddenly passed out due to my hypoglycemia. When I woke up, I discovered that I was still in the same spot and my friends had abandoned me to go to class. Also, my stuff was stolen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46685

You deserved it

2826

Tweet

Share

By stuckhome - 8/4/2011 11:07 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband told me that he can't find his passport. We're supposed to be leaving for Prague in two days. He's known about the trip for months. It was the anniversary vacation that was going to help our frayed relationship. Now my money is going to a hotel in Prague, but I'm not. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31687

You deserved it

4276

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/3/2018 15:00

Today, as I was perusing old photos with my mother, I found one of her with a "childhood friend" at her wedding to my dad. Now I know where my green eyes and blotchy neck birthmark came from, and it's not from the man I’ve been calling "dad" for 40 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5710

You deserved it

253

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 21/3/2009 04:46 - United States

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

70348

You deserved it

687357

Tweet

Share

By doh - 10/1/2009 05:39 - United Kingdom

Today, my alarm went off. I snoozed it, and went on to dream that I got out of bed, did my business, brushed my teeth, took my breakfast, changed into my working attire, and was ready for work that morning. My alarm rang a second time, I had to do all that over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27513

You deserved it

4364

Tweet

Share

By Lin - 2/3/2010 05:57 - United States

Today, I was at a concert and an older man offered to let me stand in front of him because I'm short. It wasn't until the show started and people were jumping around did I realize he had a boner and was repeatedly bumping into me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27967

You deserved it

2989

Tweet

Share

By catlady5569 - 27/8/2009 08:13 - United States

Today, my sister came over for a visit. I was going to surprise her with the news that I had spontaneously gotten a cat. The first thing she told me when she came in was that she ran over my neighbor's cat. None of my neighbors have cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56010

You deserved it

4339

Tweet

Share

By ALetterADay - 24/12/2017 01:30

Today, I wrote a long, loving and emotional Christmas letter to my girlfriend, leaving it for her to read when she woke up. Halfway through the day, I received a text stating that she saw my "breakup letter" and threw out all my stuff. I can't even contact her now. FML

I agree, your life sucks

4976

You deserved it

449

Tweet

Share

By Kidsthesedays - 9/11/2015 19:33 - United Kingdom - Saint Neots

Today, a kid came into the classroom I teach in to tell me there was "something" in the girls' toilets. "What kind of something", I asked? I was not expecting the answer "A period mural". FML

I agree, your life sucks

24693

You deserved it

3258

Tweet

Share

By lahiros - 30/5/2014 22:05 - Australia - Bentleigh East

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks

68380

You deserved it

7501

Tweet

Share

By Fml37 - 20/12/2009 05:13 - Canada

Today, I had to take a taxi to work, because I was pressed for time, and didn't have a ride there. When I got to work, I paid the cab driver, and realized I had spent more money on the cab than I was going to make at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30491

You deserved it

4696

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 24/12/2012 19:44 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I gave my girlfriend an orgasm. It was great until mid-gasm when she swung her arm out and knocked me out. She still can't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45642

You deserved it

6312

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By theblondeone | 16

#6497836 - Thursday 31 December 2016 12:42

As a phlebotomist in a major hospital, this is extremely common and unavoidable, especially if you are dehydrated or have crappy veins. It's not necessarily the tech's fault.

By MrsPegg | 45

#6497809 - Thursday 31 December 2016 11:46

Try warm packs if you have bumps and cold packs for the bruises with some tylenol or ibuprofen and the bruises and bumps should clear up quickly. Hang in there OP and I hope your CT results come out ok. - Nurse Becca

COMMENTS

By BlackHawkSavior | 28

#6497805 - Thursday 31 December 2016 11:42

Looks like he'll needle some more practice, IV willing to train him, but we'll need to track his progress

Reply

TrippingOnAcid | 29

#6497828 - Thursday 31 December 2016 12:28

Why the downvotes guys?

- too easily impressed

Reply

Silver7827 | 14

#6497967 - Thursday 31 December 2016 16:56

OP wouldn't look so out of place in NJ

Reply

blazingshot147 | 19

#6498108 - Thursday 31 December 2016 19:45

I don't C T problem, experience always helps, but you gotta give the newbies a break. Sucks for you OP, hope you get better.

By acps199610 | 12

#6497806 - Thursday 31 December 2016 11:44

wow, that's sucks. Hope you will have a speedy recovery!

By emmeelgee | 10

#6497807 - Thursday 31 December 2016 11:45

Two comments in and there's always a shit ton of puns- something to laugh at while you get over your current situation?

By MrsPegg | 45

#6497809 - Thursday 31 December 2016 11:46

Try warm packs if you have bumps and cold packs for the bruises with some tylenol or ibuprofen and the bruises and bumps should clear up quickly. Hang in there OP and I hope your CT results come out ok. - Nurse Becca

By sidpool912 | 14

#6497811 - Thursday 31 December 2016 11:47

3rd times a charm

By Whatapuffchild | 23

#6497816 - Thursday 31 December 2016 12:04

Hey it happens. Some nurses or doctors have a hard time pinpointing where to prick you and it taked a good eye to get it just righht. Speedy recovery OP.

Reply

TheGreatPotato | 19

#6498117 - Thursday 31 December 2016 19:57

I can verify that this happens for other nurses/doctors. It took 3 different nurses and 8 attempts of what felt like Satan taking a piss in my veins for them to change out my IV when I was in the hospital.

By weird_adult | 27

#6497822 - Thursday 31 December 2016 12:15

I smell a lawsuit

Reply

ShirtlessWonder | 17

#6497850 - Thursday 31 December 2016 13:38

If you would file a lawsuit over something like that, you might have a bigger issue than the bruises on your arm.

Reply

MariaGiovanni | 25

#6498512 - Friday 1 January 2016 6:11

lmao that you and OP actually think this is a big thing. this is SO common.

Reply

kittenspoons | 1

#6499958 - Sunday 3 January 2016 0:40

your american is showing...

By vlad79 | 9

#6497825 - Thursday 31 December 2016 12:23

Sorry to hear it happened. It's not easy to hit those veins sometimes and it's a natural part of the job. You'll be fine.

By Ramb0 | 20

#6497827 - Thursday 31 December 2016 12:28

I'm really scared of needle so I cant imagine how you felt!

By sweetbliss3 | 37

#6497829 - Thursday 31 December 2016 12:30

sometimes the perfect vein isn't so perfect after all. hope the results come back fine. and you'll be fine, the bruises will go away in about 3 days. good luck