Health, Relatable, Art and Injury: Can’nae take any more, Captain!

Can’nae take any more, Captain!

By Emma - 15/02/2022 12:00

Today, I crouched in front of my closet, lost my balance, and broke my thumb trying to steady myself. I'm an artist, and can't work now. I should probably lose some weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 291

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Same thing different taste

Shelved plans

By twobyfour - 15/10/2019 12:00

Today, after spending two hard months losing 20 pounds of my 80 pound goal, I was actually excited to exercise. After I was done exercising, I fell down the stairs and broke my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 213

Put some steel toe boots on

By TheMadKian - 17/09/2023 10:00

Today, I went to shut the door and ended up banging my toe on my guitar stand; then, as I was getting a snack out of a closet, I banged my toe again on the drawer and now I can't walk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 445

You deserved it 270

Desks are so judgmental these days!

By Anonymous - 17/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was promptly told to lose weight today by my computer desk when it broke under the weight of my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 617

All shook up

By Anonymous - 23/04/2023 22:30 - Australia - Adelaide CBD

Today, in an effort to save some money, I attempted to paint my own house. Instead, I fell off the ladder and broke my dominant arm. Now I can’t work, brush my teeth, or even wipe my ass. My house is half-painted with stuff everywhere and I have 6 weeks to recover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 270

By fatass - 19/02/2009 07:36 - United States

Today, I had a great workout and was feeling really good about my body. Until I sat on my desk, and broke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 960

You deserved it 7 531

Gamers rise up

By marie - 02/12/2020 23:02 - United States - San Jose

Today, after a stressful day at work, I just wanted to go home and play video games. And then I broke my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 157

Incapacitated

By Anonymous - 23/03/2023 02:00 - United States

Today, I tried a new workout routine at the gym. I was feeling great until I dropped a big-ass weight on my foot and had to go to the hospital. After hours of waiting, the doctor told me that I had a broken toe and would need to wear a cast for six weeks. The worst part? I have a job interview next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 612

You deserved it 170

By ice_dancer_jake - 20/06/2019 02:28

Today, after spending the day at work avoiding all hard manual tasks that may harm me, I had a table dropped on my foot. I broke my toe, split my nail and had to get a tetanus shot. I was avoiding injury as I was supposed to be performing in a figure skating exhibition this evening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 888

You deserved it 208

By maisie - 22/11/2018 22:00

Today, while at a family gathering, I sat down in a chair and it broke. Embarrassed, I picked myself up and sat down in another chair. That one broke too. I'm now the "fat girl" of the family despite weighing 90 pounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 022

You deserved it 258

By dumb dancer - 05/12/2014 01:54 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I injured my knee during dance class. When it started to feel a little bit better, I tried dancing again. I tripped, fell, and broke my wrist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 672

You deserved it 5 912

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 15 February 2022 16:24

Or don't crouch. That's a very unflattering posture for fat people.

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Tuesday 15 February 2022 16:24

Or don't crouch. That's a very unflattering posture for fat people.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was wearing my yoga pants for my boyfriend. He's infatuated with them. He claims they make my ass look nice. I found out it's because I constantly get a camel toe, and it gives him a semi every time he sees it. I found this out by listening to him and his father at dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 981

You deserved it 10 418

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 3 951

The Top

Today, I was at the park and needed to take a piss really badly. I opened my car door and stood to pee, but good old Mother Nature ran by and the wind blew it all into my car. My entire driver side smells like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 112

You deserved it 3 857

Today, some idiots set off fireworks close to my house. I was a bit worried, but my uncle assured me it would be fine and left to run an errand. Just minutes later, I looked up to find the tree right next to my wooden balcony engulfed in flames. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 295

You deserved it 265

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 783

You deserved it 33 078

Today, I went back home after a break with my live-in boyfriend. I had to spend some time at my distant father's place in another city until we talked it over, and he asked me to come back. I guess he should have mentioned he'd had sex with someone else before I came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 169

You deserved it 287

Today, I had to choose between staying with my boyfriend and moving out to a better job. I chose my boyfriend. He promptly left me because I didn't take the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 371

You deserved it 18 548

Today, I walked into my bedroom to find my boyfriend clipping his toe nails into my pillow case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 596

You deserved it 2 657