Today, I got very drunk after being fired from my job. In my depressed, intoxicated state, I posted my facebook status as 'Goodbye world'. The only response was from my dad saying 'cya'. His comment got 29 likes. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boss fired me for being on Facebook at work. He did it via a wall post on Facebook saying, "ur fired." Six of my friends liked this. FML
Today, my boss fired me. Then later on Facebook, his public status was, "Finally fired the sumo wrestler!" FML
Today, I got fired from the job I'd had for eleven years for going onto Facebook while on the clock. When I got home, I saw that my boss had updated his status, from work, to "Finally fired that bitch." FML
Today, my dad posted on Facebook, apologizing to anyone he'd texted the night before. He said he'd gotten wasted and didn't mean anything he said. So much for that first ever "I'm proud of you" then. FML
Today, I updated my Facebook status as, "Lost all my contacts, need numbers". My mom commented, "Her phone didn't get reset, she just doesn't have any friends." Her comment got 32 likes. FML
Today, I got fired from my job. My manager found Facebook pictures of me drinking underage at a party. He said he didn't want "that kind of image" associated with the business. It was his birthday party. He supplied the booze. FML
Today, I fell down some steps, and my dad laughed at me. He then changed his facebook status to "My kid's an idiot." FML
Today, I was confiding in my dad over the phone, after I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. After I hung up and went online, I noticed he'd been live-blogging the whole call on Facebook and commenting that he was considering suicide to escape the boredom. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, my dad got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
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Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
Because every one would expect you to post your suicide note on facebook?
mattman1994 0
he probably knew you were wasted. I wouldve done the same thing I hate when people bitch about how crappy their lives are on facebook
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Comments (187)
deadman93 8
kinda sucks though it is extreamly annoying when people do bitch nonstop on facebook.
allmidnighteyes 11
Today, something happened. ON FACEBOOK. FML.
moogzorz 0
This is the statement
sweet_candy_ 17
Turn that frown upside down op :)
MissErikaHart 0
or to the side
chobitschibi1369 0
They probably realized you were not serious (which is obvious since you posted this after) and were joking. Although it is cruel humor and sucks, I would not get too upset over it.
Elixa 0
#16 change ur pic that's so creepy! and op stop being a little shit disturber, you were probably just crying wolf like you always do!
evig_fml 16
yes #16's pic is disturbing nothing is wrong with yours at all!
Elixa 0
# 30 if I have to explain "why" #16s pic is creepy then your anoyingly creepy.
anorexicbarbie 8
It's just a spider you idiot.
Elixa 0
anorexicbarbie, I'm just going to omit your comment alltogether. With a name like that you obviously don't have the mental capacity to know that joking about anorexia isn't funny. Unless of couse your name is just a cry for help?
Elixa 0
back_in_action, stop being a hater, dont worry one day you'll hit puberty :)
evig_fml 16
how can someone so stupid and full of self pride exist? I was right to hate this rack the second I saw it.
Elixa 0
Liar, I know you wanted to motorboat them the second you saw them. Well sugar plum you can always dream :)
Starfire22 5
Ewwww, what's wrong with your boobs? They looks distorted and fake! I'm more disturbed by how creepy your boobs look then the picture of the spider!
marylovesyou8D 7
it's a freaking spider. grow up.
demarcusT 0
you find bugs creepy yet your chest looks like the head of a mosquito?
anorexicbarbie 8
84 hahahahahah
EvilDoll 7
oooh I get it you zoomed in on your boobs and cropped out your face and body in your picture so your fatness and ugliness wouldn't be creepy to anyone like the spider is! too bad. those have to be the ugliest bulges of shiny fat I have ever seen to disgrace the human body. are those tumors?
Elixa 0
73,79,84,96 I find it interesting how none of you have profile pictures of yourselves, let alone of actual humans. Therefore that makes all of you, insecure jealous trolls. If you want to insult the way I look, at least have the balls to put up pics of yourselves!
anorexicbarbie 8
I have a picture of myself and I still think you're an idiot, and pretty gross. I agree with the other dude, you mustve cropped out your face and body because you're so nasty.
Vetroit 0
But please keep yours! :D
Elixa 0
again this coming from anorexicbarbie.... good one, you anorexic girl you!
anorexicbarbie 8
You sound so insecure as well. That's a real turn off!
Elixa 0
Hun, you need to learn to stop being such a follower, anyways I don't really want to leave this on a negative note, I see it's your birthday next weekend, so I hope you have a great birthday! and please eat some cake...
anorexicbarbie 8
I'm /obviously/ anorexic, dumbass.
joooeee 3
omg I'm so jealous of Eliza. her great insight and fascinating comments combined with her fake spray tanned boobs make me want to be just like her
Elixa 0
thanks joooeee:) maybe next you could even spell my name correctly!
anorexicbarbie 8
Why are you so stupid?
Starfire22 5
I find it interesting that you put your fake shiny **** out there for the world to see! I don't care for a bunch of strangers knowing what my boobs look like, but I assure you they aren't a sickly shiny orange color. Your picture is blurry by the way and I notice your face is cut off... so it seems that you don't have the "balls" to put up a picture of what you really look like, just a grainy cellphone quality picture of your unattractive boobs. Only a certain few can be privileged to know what I look like, If you don't know, you just aren't special enough to know! :D
CitizenSnipz 0
Spider > Boobs.
CitizenSnipz 0
okay 99 she said that if you have a picture that's not of a human, you're a troll. WTF. Am I the only one who noticed that?
CitizenSnipz 0
And I have the balls to use my pet rock as a pic. I think it's funny.
Elixa 0
starfire please please please, I'm begging you DON'T give me the privilege of knowing what you look like, I don't feel like throwing up right now, if I wanted to see a troll I would just look under the bridge, but maybe you should show your pic to anorexicbarbie I know she's a fan if throwing up!
Elixa 0
*of
anorexicbarbie 8
I thought I was anorexic! Jeez, you really are an idiot.
Elixa 0
awe poor little anorexicbarbie, I realize your only 15, but I believe you can do a lot better with your comebacks. I mean your stupid, your an idiot, your ugly... Meh. FYI- Anorexia like dugs, one can often be a gateway into another more serious drugs and more serious eating disorders like bulimia.
EulessMeangirls 0
Wjpsa
Elixa 0
"Wjpsa"? - Undefined via urban dictionary. You fail.
anorexicbarbie 8
My idiot? Where?
Elixa 0
40,100,130, you used the same insult calling me an idiot. I just think you could be, just a tad, more creative next time.
anorexicbarbie 8
*sigh* I was referring to the fact that you kept using the wrong form of "you're". Maddox taught me this, and now I'll teach you. you're = you are ex: You're a dumbass. your = possesive ex: Your ass is dumb.
Elixa 0
see anorexicbarbie I'm proud of you, that took thought, creativity and wit. Bravo :). now go do 2 laps around the field because that gum your chewing has 5 calories in it and it looks like your starting to get some junk in the trunk.
GraysonIsFail 0
Oh my. What is this I don't even..
nitrogirl 0
haha no one loves you(;
catstuff 0
shucks
you_freak 7
I hate it when people put up a status on facebook just to get attention. Its like their life is measured by the number of notifications they receive on a daily basis. Get a life OP, don't blame it on the booze!
eddieyes 0
seriously how many friends do you guys have on Facebook, I never got more than 7likes I think, is it normal to get 27 likes?
hiddydiddy 0
for popular people, or for genius or sensational statuses, it kinda is
gomerturd 1
loser