Transportation: Today, I got to spend 4 hours on a bus with a group of selfie-taking...

By please stop singing!!!! - 21/03/2014 23:59 - United States - Windermere

Today, I got to spend 4 hours on a bus with a group of selfie-taking teenagers who spent the majority of the time trying to harmonize while singing various songs. I'm pretty sure half of them were tone deaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 265

You deserved it 4 118

Transportation

But there's panic on the streets of Carlisle

Good kid

Broken heart

Bittie

By Alwayspotato - 11/07/2020 05:02

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend, he had his head on my chest and we both fell asleep. Suddenly, I woke up by my boyfriend biting my nipple, hard, in his sleep. I now need to go to the pharmacy because of a bleeding nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 433

You deserved it 141

By Anonymous - 31/12/2013 20:11 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I introduced my dad, who is a surgeon, to the TV show House. I thought it'd be a good bonding experience. How wrong I was. He spent the whole time yelling about the "insane" medical inaccuracies, then lectured me about my crappy taste in TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 025

You deserved it 10 107

By rattledwife666 - 21/01/2017 14:00

Today, when I asked my husband to join me in the shower to "save water", he said, "Let the environment suffer, not me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 417

You deserved it 953

By /(•'_'•)\ - 07/09/2013 16:59 - United States - Ballwin

Today, while working at Subway, I was about to take a guy's order. He quickly held up a hand and asked for someone else to make his sub, because he doesn't like "ugly people" touching his food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 800

You deserved it 3 814

By Teylot - 28/06/2009 21:30 - Canada

Today, I was sitting at my desk eating cereal with my cat sleeping on my lap. I got a really funny text and I started laughing hysterically, and spilled my cereal all over my cat. I'll let you know how my legs, arms, neck and face heal up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 899

You deserved it 13 541

By prick - 30/10/2015 21:53 - United States - Dover

Today, as I rung up a customer's groceries, he gave me a pitying look and said I'd have a "real job" if I'd only studied harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 889

You deserved it 2 137

By vegantreegirl - 04/02/2019 20:00

Today, I was using the restroom at work when my glasses slipped off my face and landed right in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 427

You deserved it 305

Horsing around

By Anonymous - 15/07/2020 20:02

Today, my horse, who has been nothing but gentle for 27 years, kicked me right in the knee on my last vacation day. It's so bad, I can hardly sleep or sit down on the toilet. Tomorrow I go back to work, which involves lots of walking, sitting down and getting back up, as well as lifting heavy stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 160

By rubberduck_of_doom - 09/03/2018 19:00

Today, after months of begging, I finally convinced my friends to go skiing with me. On our first run I suggested a race. Everybody loved the idea. Good news: I came in first. Bad news: I tore a ligament in my knee. It will be operated on tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 637

You deserved it 1 001

By tramp - 10/11/2013 05:51 - United States

Today, I met my brother's girlfriend. We got talking, and we got onto the subject of tattoos. I said how much I hated tramp stamps, and how they make girls look trashy. She said, "Like this?" and showed me hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 270

You deserved it 19 567

Halloween came early

By umm..WHAT?? - 22/10/2020 14:01 - United States - Pomona

Today, I was sleeping in my bed when I woke up in horror to see that my 34-year-old cousin, who was spending the night, was watching me sleep. Once he noticed that I was awake, he quietly left the room. I told my mom, who then told me not to tell anyone and pretend that it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 67

By soccerscout7 - 08/02/2011 12:48

Today, I was leaving school to get tested for peptic ulcers, because my stomach has been hurting for a few months. To wish me luck, one of my friends gave me a friendly punch in the stomach. I threw up blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 712

You deserved it 3 145

By stupidquestionsstupidpeople - 30/04/2013 03:32 - United States - Chicago Heights

Today, I met one of my favorite web-comic artists. As I purchased a shirt from their booth he asked, "What size?" I stupidly asked "How big is a small?" He chuckled, "It's small" and chuckled some more. So much for keeping it cool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 419

You deserved it 7 778

By emegemerald - 04/07/2011 04:13 - United States

Today, I went to visit my great grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 682

You deserved it 2 606

By again? - 15/03/2016 10:03 - United States - Olympia

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring himself in the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 318

You deserved it 2 477

Hangry

By Broke as hell - 07/04/2020 23:00

Today, after being robbed last week, I had no money to go to the store for food. Instead, my dinner consisted of two Tums chewables in tropical fruit flavors. After not eating all day, I thought they actually tasted pretty good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 949

You deserved it 139

J'accuse...!

By hockeymango57 - 24/09/2017 23:15

Today, one of my friends blew a giant vape cloud and the principal saw and called us into his office. We blamed each other, so the principal checked both of our backpacks. Apparently, my friend snuck his pen into my bag somehow. I don't even vape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 973

You deserved it 619

By Anonymous - 26/06/2015 16:29 - United States - Woodland

Today, my house was robbed while I was at work. The robber left a note telling me my stuff was crappy and that they found my safe under the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 580

You deserved it 2 144

By hatelife - 30/12/2009 19:07 - United States

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 186

You deserved it 4 825

By sciencetime - 10/12/2016 11:33

Today, I had environmental science class. My teacher doesn't believe humans are affecting climate change or that we should protect endangered species. He slants class discussions so now all my classmates agree with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 111

You deserved it 1 100

By douglas - 17/07/2011 07:14 - United States

Today, I surprised my four year old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it 'Horny.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 124

You deserved it 8 228

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 20:55 - United States - College Place

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 918

You deserved it 27 326

By joshualover - 23/09/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, I was driving through my neighborhood when I heard a siren. I looked into my rear view mirror and saw a motorcycle, so I pulled over. The motorcycle drove by, and it turned out to be an old lady with a leather jacket. The siren was in a song on the radio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 494

You deserved it 28 268

By Colleen - 18/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, I bought a party bowl of Bud Light for a get-together. Around midnight, I realized that I didn't have the tap to get the beer out. Fifty-five cans of untappable beer and no more beer money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 738

You deserved it 22 477

Rough school

By strayking - 24/05/2021 17:01

Today, my daughter admitted that she doesn’t have any friends at her elementary school. When I asked her why, she said it was because whenever she talks to any of the other kids, she gets punched in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 083

You deserved it 65

By Laughluv - 02/01/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I realized that I have been playing a little too much Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I realized this when I was watching a youtube video and there was someone walking in the background who I impulsively tried to gun down and kill by moving my mouse over him and clicking repeatedly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 785

You deserved it 36 768

By Jessica S. - 06/09/2012 11:15 - United States - Louisville

Today, I found out that the mysterious and creepy weirdo guy that continuously sends me messages on Facebook is my manager at my new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 394

You deserved it 2 010

By Anonymous - 01/01/2009 15:38 - France

Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 270

You deserved it 3 606

Customers…

By Giselle - 14/05/2021 14:01

Today, two girls walked into the clothing store I work in. One of them pulled a shirt from the bottom of a huge stack, knocking it down. One of them asks, "Aren’t your gonna put the stack back together?" The other says, "No, that bitch gets paid to clean that shit up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 80

Some guys will hump anything

By slschmidt - 22/09/2021 14:00 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, when asked for a second date, I had to explain to a man that I didn’t want to see him again, and that he should give women compliments and ask them questions when on a date. He then told me he only does that when his dates look good or say something interesting. He sure still tried to fuck me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 279

By aunty_social - 25/08/2018 14:30

Today, I took my 5-year-old nephew camping. I was about to take him to the outhouse for a bathroom break when he flung the door of the camper open and shouted at the top of his lungs to the entire campground, "We are going to poop now!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 246

You deserved it 300

By moresexperience - 11/09/2009 12:26 - United States

Today, I had dinner with my girlfriend of five months along with my mom and dad. Everything was going fine until my mom asked aloud "Everything going smooth for you in the bedroom?" to which my girlfriend replied "No." I was painting the master bedroom at my parent's house for some extra cash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 123

You deserved it 4 246

By mvgirl - 22/10/2009 15:47 - United States

Today, while sitting with my son, an ice cream cone landed on my head from out of no where. I look up to see three children on the balcony above us yelling, "Look we hit the fat lady!" They ran away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 952

You deserved it 5 569

Tell us more

By kateannobrien - 11/08/2021 20:01

Today, my birthday was terrible yet again. This year, my boyfriend skipped celebrating with me at all. Last year, he guilt-tripped me about ‘having’ to spend time with me and got me two gift certificates that were unusable due to COVID. These weren’t even my worst birthdays to date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 154

By sweet pea - 22/09/2016 21:48 - Canada - Red Lake

Today, my mom told me she wouldn't be able to leave my middle-aged brother at home for Christmas in order to meet her first grandchild. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 310

You deserved it 863

By cherry - 10/04/2009 09:43 - Australia

Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks "Can I lick your leg?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 656

You deserved it 23 843

Unbelievable

By Anonymous - 08/12/2010 09:40 - United Kingdom

Today, at my wedding reception, I jokingly asked my aunt, who has always been convinced that I am gay despite my protests, if she believed me now. She took this the wrong way and drunkenly went around telling my guests that my wedding was a sham to convince her I was straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 378

You deserved it 5 275

By argh - 13/03/2010 00:19 - United States

Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 238

You deserved it 3 002

Notice me

By bb. - 29/12/2021 16:59

Today, I spent my entire shift fantasizing about being in a car wreck and getting hospitalized, just so my mother would show me any love whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 933

You deserved it 152

By hopeless romantic - 14/08/2014 15:06 - United States - Dayton

Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 115

You deserved it 5 507

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Top comments

Bano360 25

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Saturday 22 March 2014 12:38

Shutup Meg

FemskyD 26

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Saturday 22 March 2014 12:10

And That.. Is why you should always have a role of ducktape in your handbag =D

MinaGermania 12

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Saturday 22 March 2014 12:09

I'm sorry you had to hear that, but singing is fun so I understand them too. Eventhough they shouldn't bother people like that especially if it's as bad as you say.

Bano360 25

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Saturday 22 March 2014 12:38

Shutup Meg

Jessj958 19

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Saturday 22 March 2014 18:48

Hahahaha!! That is hilarious!

FemskyD 26

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Saturday 22 March 2014 12:10

And That.. Is why you should always have a role of ducktape in your handbag =D

mario2012 18

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Saturday 22 March 2014 12:26

Roll*

rosenkrieger223 21

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Saturday 22 March 2014 12:43

*Duct tape, Since we are on the subject of picking apart and correcting comments

RenoTheRhino 30

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Saturday 22 March 2014 13:11

*that

Pleonasm 35

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Saturday 22 March 2014 13:28

*...

Mauskau 35

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Saturday 22 March 2014 13:57

Ducktape is correct as it's a brand of duct tape.

OptimusVader 23

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Saturday 22 March 2014 14:38

Then that would make it a proper noun. Which means it should be *Ducktape.

Stazza11 27

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Saturday 22 March 2014 15:15

Kinky.

ThomasBombadil 31

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Saturday 22 March 2014 12:14

This is very similar to the final test of becoming a Jedi. How did you do OP?

Puffytruffles 18

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Saturday 22 March 2014 12:32

But first, Let me post a FML!

rosenkrieger223 21

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Saturday 22 March 2014 12:45

Patience, young padawan.

minauto 15

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Saturday 22 March 2014 18:05

#10 i don't see how this FML requires a grace period...?

Ryanc621 9

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Saturday 22 March 2014 20:29

It's a reference to that awful song about taking selfies," but first,let me take a selfie!" Is one of the lyrics

Nathan_h24 17

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Saturday 22 March 2014 12:14

this is our generation.

rosenkrieger223 21

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Saturday 22 March 2014 12:47

I fail to see how one's generation determines vocal ability.

FucYoCouch 13

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Saturday 22 March 2014 13:20

Oh yes, 5, our generation is TERRIBLE. The number of people graduating Highschool has significantly increased, teenage pregnancy has lowered tremendously, and racism isn't as strong as it was in past generations but a group of TEENAGED girls singing and taking "Selfies" ruins our generation. Just because you aren't into what other people of this generation are into does NOT make you any better than anyone else. Let them be annoying and "ruin" our generation because I'd rather have annoying people in our generation than doped out teens who do not care if they live to see tomorrow. Sorry for the rant but it really upsets me when people look down on this generation due to teenagers being teenagers -_-

dyehardxen 19

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Saturday 22 March 2014 15:17

How do you know that everyone that visits this site are part if your generation?

hellnosucka 27

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Saturday 22 March 2014 19:55

#23 is having a bitch fit.

ericb982 8

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Monday 31 March 2014 0:45

#49 is raging at #23's decent comment

ruckfules85 34

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Saturday 22 March 2014 12:18

Generation!! Y u do dis?!

parism143 28

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Saturday 22 March 2014 16:16

Refer to #23

bummervacation 10

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Saturday 22 March 2014 12:18

You should have just joined in. Creepy strangers either act as encouragement, or a serious deterrent to teenage fun. And the more you "help" the more likely it is they'll relocate away from you. Next time, keep that in mind, k? Actually, maybe never mind that. There are soo many ways this could go wrong haha

rhysfucker 24

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Saturday 22 March 2014 12:55

I could see police involvement if OP tried to join in...

albinochipmunks 7

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Saturday 22 March 2014 13:20

Since when can you get the cops called on you for singing?

tygerarmy 35

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Saturday 22 March 2014 13:28

OP, if you didn't have headphones there are a lot of things you could've done. Sing worse than them, off time, mess up the lyrics. You can sing songs you like, and mess with their ability to sing. You can obliviously take their pictures and record their singing. Or any combination of the above and they'll probably stop. And I really don't see how the police would get involved if the OP had joined in.