Miscellaneous: Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. When they started...

By CA19oo - 16/01/2012 03:08 - United States

Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. When they started playing my favorite song I whipped out my video camera and sang along. As I was reviewing the video later, I realized that I couldn't even hear the band over my horrible singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 671

You deserved it 42 446

Miscellaneous

Taking stock

I've just got one of those faces

Woohoo, party time!

By fatlady - 07/03/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 962

You deserved it 39 244

By JK - 01/02/2010 00:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 889

You deserved it 4 710

Complete mockery

By Anonymous - 13/11/2019 01:00

Today, the people in my class wondered why I seem to avoid them. The same people who call me a creep and hide when they see me in public because of my disability. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 180

You deserved it 131

By gypsy - 24/06/2011 02:00 - Australia

Today, I hired a cleaner to clean my apartment so when my in-laws visited tonight, they wouldn't think I was lazy. I got home from work, the cleaner hadn't shown at all, and my in-laws had arrived early. My mother-in-law is now mopping the floors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 237

You deserved it 37 672

Panic

By Lexy - 19/07/2021 07:01

Today, I'm so afraid of Covid, I lied to my friends to avoid hanging out with them every time I was invited. Yes, I've been vaccinated already. FML

I agree, your life sucks 490

You deserved it 1 193

By 4lphab3t4 - 21/11/2016 15:22

Today, my neighbour almost ran over my little sister, and blamed it on his disability. What disability? He has no sense of smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 805

You deserved it 579

By pookie99 - 17/06/2011 02:17 - United States

Today, I went to sell my wedding rings, due to the fact that I'm getting divorced from a man who cheated on me. The jeweler informed me that the stone in my engagement ring is fake. I won't even be able to cover the divorce costs from the proceeds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 633

You deserved it 5 545

More proof the system is broken

By Anonymous - 27/06/2020 20:04

Today, my younger sister, who lives at home and worked 1 day a week at the gym, got her unemployment card. I work at a hospital, on the frontlines, with COVID-19 patients. I don't get hazard pay. She now makes more than me in a week by sitting at home watching Netflix, while I risk my life every day to help people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 369

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 05/07/2011 22:28 - United States

Today, my mom took me to a counselor because of my addiction to watermelon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 946

You deserved it 6 057

By Xandar - 09/11/2018 17:30

Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 354

You deserved it 495

By foreverafatty - 31/03/2011 05:49 - United States

Today, I learned that I can work out for over an hour a day, cut my daily calories by almost half, keep careful track of my diet, drink nothing but water, and not lose a pound. But I can sure as hell gain weight after one dinner at a buffet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 547

You deserved it 15 763

By Joy - 16/06/2010 14:42 - Denmark

Today, we had guests coming over. My dad wanted me to make some bacon, but I refused because I'm a vegetarian, and don't like to touch meat. His response? 'Good joke honey, now make the bacon.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 002

You deserved it 19 181

Supportive

By fuckthepopo - 21/01/2012 02:31 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been cheating on me. In tears, I called my best friend and told him everything. He responded with one- or two-word answers throughout, but I felt better all the same. That is, until I heard him begin to take a loud piss half-way through my sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 759

You deserved it 6 447

By Sniffles - 26/04/2014 12:28 - Ireland

Today, I realised that when I asked my girlfriend 4 months ago if was she on the pill, she thought I meant hay fever tablets. I'm going to be a father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 392

You deserved it 30 287

By Anonymous - 24/07/2014 21:23 - United States - Annandale

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 376

You deserved it 17 884

By changeddaily - 20/03/2011 04:52 - Australia

Today, I was telling my friend how lonely I am on Skype. He responded by deleting me as a friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 395

You deserved it 11 286

By Noname - 24/02/2009 23:57 - United States

Today, my hard drive on my computer crashed with all of my files on it. I took it to my Dad, who is a computer analyst, to see if he could recover anything. The only thing that he could salvage was my illustrious collection of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 467

You deserved it 66 236

By gooddaydude - 04/04/2015 19:32 - United States - Omaha

Today, my mom called 5 times and I didn't pick up due to being in class at college. I was later called to the front desk, where my mom was crying. She said she was worried about me because I didn't say "I love you" to her after she dropped me off at college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 310

You deserved it 4 279

By Jackassed - 12/05/2011 17:53 - United States

Today, as a prank, a friend and I tied a 10 dollar bill to a fishing line, and yanked it away from people as they reached for it. It was going really well until one of our victims pulled a knife and chased us around the block. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 496

You deserved it 59 057

By Anonymous - 21/06/2018 19:00

Today, after months of trying for a baby and telling me how he wants a family and can't wait to have a kid with me, my boyfriend was relieved when I got a negative home test, saying he's not ready for kids yet. I took another test this morning. I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 978

You deserved it 568

By Anonymous - 08/10/2012 22:27 - Canada - Truro

Today, my friends dared me to answer the door naked for the pizza guy. I heard the doorbell but when I answered, it was the little boy from next door participating in a fundraiser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 671

You deserved it 40 489

By Anonymous - 02/09/2013 11:50 - United States

Today, I locked my keys in my car. After looking for the spare key for hours, we called our insurance company, who then sent a "locksmith" with a wedge and a bar to open my car. All he did was break the driver and passenger doorhandles. My stuff is still inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 477

You deserved it 3 563

By socknotes - 09/03/2016 04:02 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, a shifty customer came in to my store and was hanging around for about 30 minutes. Apparently, he took that time to put religiously-motivated anti-abortion notes into each and every pair of socks. In the following hours, I had 17 angry returns and was personally threatened twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 754

You deserved it 1 428

Single life

By idk what to do - 04/03/2021 00:30

Today, I'm 22 year-old woman, and my entire family thinks something is wrong with me because I've never been in a relationship. I'm starting to believe them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 124

By Anonymous - 04/08/2014 23:04 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 072

You deserved it 9 144

By wallbanger - 07/02/2010 12:31 - Australia

Today, my seven-year-old sister came to stay at my house for the night. She usually just sleepwalks. But tonight she sleep-peed in my clean clothes basket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 403

You deserved it 2 404

By Anonymous - 22/04/2009 15:26 - Australia

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend saying she needed more phone credit, so I bought her more and got another message saying "Great, now I have enough credit for this..." as she spelled out a three page message breaking up with me. Yes, I paid for her to break up with me via text. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 630

You deserved it 8 110

By Anonymous - 16/06/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, while on my daily jog, I passed a very attractive girl. While passing her, she yelled "hey cutie". Trying to look cool, I tried turning around without stopping. I then fell off the curb and severely sprained my ankle. She caught up to help but was laughing the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 933

You deserved it 40 397

By Iguana - 12/09/2012 02:35 - Canada - Oromocto

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 666

You deserved it 28 643

Let's not get too committed

By Just a Bro - 13/06/2021 03:31 - India

Today, it was the third time a guy high-fived me after sex. The other two guys gave me a fist bump. Is this a universal thing, or am I just one of the bros? FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 194

By Salvation711 - 15/04/2012 15:29 - United States

Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 876

You deserved it 33 709

By creeped out - 12/06/2012 18:28 - United States - Smithtown

Today, my identical twin sister's boyfriend walked over to me, and whispered in my ear, "I know what you look like naked." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 828

You deserved it 4 452

By Anonymous - 07/12/2010 06:23 - United States

Today, I spent hours voluntarily decorating my town for Christmas. After a break, I came back to find someone had re-positioned the wooden reindeer to make it look like they were humping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 364

You deserved it 8 562

Honor amongst maids

By Anonymous - 11/03/2020 09:00

Today, a good friend from childhood, who was my maid of honor four years ago, got married. Without me knowing about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 552

You deserved it 187

By grossed out - 05/05/2013 23:10 - United States - Mount Prospect

Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 179

You deserved it 8 229

By Tourist - 26/03/2009 07:19 - United States

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 501

You deserved it 598 712

By thedd - 18/08/2009 04:44 - United States

Today, it was my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 049

You deserved it 3 867

By Jrex89 - 02/06/2015 21:02 - United States - Washington

Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 608

You deserved it 3 162

By unicorn_skies - 18/01/2014 08:33 - United States - Yorba Linda

Today, I bought a new, expensive dress for a date. I left the tag on and hidden in hopes of returning it later. Someone saw it and ripped it off for me to "save me from embarrassment." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 528

You deserved it 57 498

The walls have ears

By Anonymous - 20/04/2020 17:00

Today, I went out for lunch with one of my co-workers. After work, I talked to one of my friends about how unpleasant the lunch was with him. My co-worker was standing behind me listening in the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 2 623

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Top comments

ICATiger 13

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Monday 16 January 2012 8:52

That was you. God I thought somebody was dying.....

TheHaloReachigan 3

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Monday 16 January 2012 8:47

Haha. Show it to your friends and tell them the band had a rough night.

TheHaloReachigan 3

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Monday 16 January 2012 8:47

Haha. Show it to your friends and tell them the band had a rough night.

ChucktheNorris 0

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Monday 16 January 2012 15:45

Put that on YouTube. I dare you.

ZeroIce 12

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Tuesday 17 January 2012 6:12

Halo Reach PWNS. Not just owns:)

dirtroadmopar 0

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Monday 16 January 2012 8:47

hurry delete the video before you jynk the band and the break up!

ClassyCommando 13

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Monday 16 January 2012 9:43

That comment made zero sense to me.

I_See_Purple_Ppl 0

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Monday 16 January 2012 10:15

Nice to know I'm not the only one confused

RickGGJR 0

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Monday 16 January 2012 10:58

*Hurry delete the video, before you jinx the band and they break up!* Even with the corrections it does'nt make any more sense than it did without them...

MizzErikaHart 8

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Monday 16 January 2012 15:49

Omg 45, that's not true about ur mom, is it?

Tobias5505 0

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Tuesday 17 January 2012 5:22

WTF are you talking about?

chubby_choco 17

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Tuesday 24 January 2012 18:38

Oh, goody. More stuff that doesn't make sense. -._-.

ViktoriaaKills 13

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Saturday 19 July 2014 6:07

she was talking about his profile's bio.

Isoldael 27

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Monday 16 January 2012 8:48

Think of the people next to you o.O And well, to be fair, a concert is never as good on tape as it was live, just cherish the memories of an awesome concert :)

drooby 5

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Monday 16 January 2012 8:51

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

DrNeuroxide 0

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Monday 16 January 2012 13:22

My, arent you cheery. Are you going to apply that comment to every FML?

drooby 5

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Monday 16 January 2012 14:07

Ones that isn't a really FML situation yes

disturbed678 10

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Monday 16 January 2012 14:20

Lolwut

desireev 17

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Monday 16 January 2012 14:53

50- Ones that aren't really an FML situation, yes. *corrected punctuation and grammar* Just thought I'd correct that for ya! :)

sydie5 12

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Monday 16 January 2012 8:52

Put it on YouTube, you'll become a tone-deaf sensation!

ICATiger 13

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Monday 16 January 2012 8:58

Like Rebecca Black!

ClassyCommando 13

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Monday 16 January 2012 9:41

Or 90% of today's popular artists!

kyz_xox 11

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Monday 16 January 2012 16:45

xD Oh boy do I agree with that

ICATiger 13

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Monday 16 January 2012 8:52

That was you. God I thought somebody was dying.....

kristena103 14

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Monday 16 January 2012 22:16

Hehe this is ur funniest comment evarr!!!

theten_fml 9

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Monday 16 January 2012 8:52

Go buy their CD and let them do the singing.

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

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Monday 16 January 2012 8:56

Just because my singing sucks, doesn't mean I won't do it in the privacy of my neighbors shower.

stormer461 13

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Monday 16 January 2012 8:53

Next time try to enjoy the concert instead of trying to take a shitty video with your cell phone you'll never look at ever again.

GovernorGeneral 8

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Monday 16 January 2012 8:55

Video camera....OP took out a video camera...

MaaaanWTF 1

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Monday 16 January 2012 9:03

Hell yea 13! Tell his ass!

I_See_Purple_Ppl 0

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Monday 16 January 2012 10:16

Learn to read. Last time I checked a cell phone cam and a video cam are two entirely diffrent things...

Trish01 23

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Monday 12 August 2013 22:00

I don't get why some people choose to see entire concerts through their tiny phone or camera screens. Idiots. Random rant over.

SmelloJello 9

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Monday 16 January 2012 8:53

Don't sing if you suck.

BlueHue 0

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Monday 16 January 2012 11:12

Oh I disagree, people who suck at singing give me much amusement... :)

Taysia_Elice 6

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Monday 16 January 2012 8:54

I really want to know what concert it was. And could you imagine what the people around you thought when they got home and listened back to their video!