Health: Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed...

By dating a fking cnt - 10/11/2012 00:16 - Canada

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 749

You deserved it 3 299

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Same thing different taste

By NOIDIDNOT - 19/11/2012 06:21 - United States - Scottsdale

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 937

You deserved it 2 958

Admission time

By peeoncarl1111 - 29/01/2011 01:06 - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth cut out. While my girlfriend was driving me home, I, still being high on the laughing gas, accidentally admitted to cheating on her. She was kind enough to wait until the numbness wore off before she punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 483

You deserved it 120 556

I'm so sorry

By Anonymous - 21/02/2015 14:20 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 117

You deserved it 32 216

By Chester (Seattle) - 09/09/2010 02:15 - United States

Today, I got circumcised. After the surgery, my girlfriend got drunk and texted all of her friends about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 939

You deserved it 5 819

By Jarryd - 10/02/2012 05:40 - Australia

Today, I was making out with a girl who I've had a crush on for a while now. It was all going fine until one of my teeth decided to dislodge itself. She promptly spat out the tooth and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 557

You deserved it 7 491

By Sir Vom-a-lot - 14/06/2012 16:28 - United Kingdom - West Drayton

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 646

You deserved it 6 608

By gerbilmaster - 09/07/2015 21:12 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, I had 3 teeth pulled. Due to the anaesthesia, my mom came along to drive me home. Halfway through my surgery, she decided to leave and go shopping with her friend. She even left a note with the receptionist, saying that I needed to take on my own adult responsibilities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 355

You deserved it 1 837

First dates

By Tytonic - 20/01/2020 05:00 - United States - Havertown

Today, after my first dinner with my new girlfriend, I was using a toothpick when I fell, stabbing the roof of my mouth. She then laughed at me, as there was so much blood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 857

You deserved it 410

By First World Problems - 08/01/2016 14:34 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I got my wisdom teeth out. Afterwards, my parents thought it would be a great idea to have my favourite meal. I got to watch them enjoy it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 459

You deserved it 1 769

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 20:56 - United States

Today, I had all four of my wisdom teeth extracted. Under anesthesia I told the dentist my entire love life and drug history in detail. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 835

You deserved it 14 998

crazytwinsmom 25

Saturday 10 November 2012 6:11

Ex girlfriend I hope!

speckledots 29

Saturday 10 November 2012 6:16

Damn. BTW. You aren't supposed to "suck" on anything. Unless you want a dry socket.

Comments

boating_guy 33

Saturday 10 November 2012 6:48

and sleep sitting up. keep your head elevated above your heart as much as you can!

DocBastard 38

Saturday 10 November 2012 6:56

She called you a pussy, so it's only fair for you to call her a ****.

Lauren324 18

Saturday 10 November 2012 7:04

He already has in his name. Now it's time for him to say it to her face.

perdix 29

Saturday 10 November 2012 7:06

#20, with all due respect, and with my rudimentary knowledge of anatomy, I believe he has earned the right to call her a dick, prick, ****, Johnson or Cowper's gland, even if the last one is very confusing.

jsolis1982 6

Saturday 10 November 2012 14:01

The more confusing, the better. It's so much more fun when someone doesn't know they're being insulted.

Mirorbo 26

Saturday 10 November 2012 7:02

I don't think the wisdom teeth are all you should have removed, darling... The sudden change of plans is forgivable, but the stab afterwards is a bit over-the-top, especially when you're already physically hurting.