Today, I got married. I was so nervous right before I said my vows that, in the dead silence, I farted. Loud. My brother showed me afterwards, on tape, over and over and over again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I belched. In the middle of my wedding vows. FML
Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML
Today, was my wedding. After eating, I had an urge to fart. I let one rip just before my husband and I were called to do the garter dance. He seductively tried to use his teeth to remove the garter and came out from under my dress dry heaving. I dutch ovened my husband in front of everyone. FML
Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. While getting down on one knee, he farted. FML
Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML
Today, I farted in front of my husband for the first time in 26 years. He told our kids over email, and now they won't shut up about it. FML
Today, my fiancé hugged me so tight that I couldn't move, said he loved me, let out a loud, obnoxious and smelly fart cloud and made me breathe it in. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
Today, in the middle of asking my girlfriend to marry me, I sneezed so hard that I farted. FML
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Top comments
troll4thelulz 0
It could've been worse, you could've had explosive diarrhea while saying your vows.
iamchuck 0
Family functions are going to be a riot for years.
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Comments (69)
Alpha35 4
YES.......... ruin the most happiest time of your life by farting next to your newly weded wife
rockyraccoon28 8
lol.
chimshar 0
hahahahaha this is awesome!
fortunefades 3
i'd be asking if it was too late to take back the "I do", if i were your significant other (;
sparklies 0
omg I feel so bad for you
beautifulppl 0
if today was your wedding day why the he'll are u on fml?!?!
saranottelling 7
This was explained in the comments already. Every FML post MUST begin with "Today".
bobbysnickers 0
jack the RIPPER johnny trombone timmy toot toot freddy flatuence gregory gassman oh sorry, just thinking what you should change your name to.
joemudda 0
that sucks probably gonna go on americas fav home vids
sleeepy2 0
That's an awesome story. Embarrassing now, but will be a great memory for the future. And yes, send it to America's Funniest Videos asap! You could win $10,000 easily!
Mauskau 36
your brother is awesome