Today, I got into a nasty fight, and ended up leaving with a black eye. The fight was with a champagne bottle cork. I was opening the bottle to celebrate the New Year, at home, alone. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, while at a local bar, my friends and I were approached by an overly intoxicated man who asked us each politely if we wanted to fight. Thinking it was a joke, I said yes. It wasn't a joke, I now have a broken nose and a black eye. FML
Today, I got a black eye while trying to break up a fight caused by some complete bastard making a "yo momma" joke at the funeral of my best friend's mother. FML
Today, I saw a fight so I went over to try and break it up. Someone thought I wanted to join in, so he gave me an unexpected whap in the happy sacks, and I also got a bloody nose for my troubles. FML
Today, my mom got blackout drunk and tried to fight me, my stepdad, and my brother, resulting in my stepdad leaving, my brother getting two holes from a metal shelf my mom tried to joust him with, and I got bit. FML
Today, I woke myself up by slamming my ankle into a glass bottle. FML
Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Today, I got too drunk at a party and cracked a tooth from opening a beer bottle with my teeth, farted something nasty in a room alone with someone, tried to climb a tree and fell out, and watched my crush make out with his new girl. FML
Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML
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Top comments
mahimalil 0
☆。★。☆。★ 。☆ 。☆。☆ ★。＼｜／。★ Happy New Year! ★。／｜＼。★ 。☆。 。☆。 ☆。 ★。 ☆
SmokyMcBong 1
well atleast u can make up a bad ass story about what could have happened to ur eye haha
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Comments (91)
marial9na 0
I was alone too... thats ok... sorry abput your eye man... better luck next time..
sk3l370n 0
At least now you can make up a great story about having a life
Guyana00 3
dumbass.
starile 20
I dunno about you guys, but I THANK all my empty, half-smashed, drunkenly strewn about champagne bottles. For their wonderful friendship.
hideyoself 4
aah the average christmas period of a greedy business shark alone without friends, because money always has been the main interest in his/her life.
vanillatwilight6 0
hahahaha FAIL!!!
Valle79 5
And now you know why you shouldn't be staring into the barrel of a gun while pulling the trigger...dumbass.
Seethatguy 3
...8...9...10!!! TKO! Sorry, OP. I can set you up with a rematch if you'd like?
_k_a_r_e_n_ 9
you should have read the warning label: gently twist to release carbonation and open away from face!!
ManaUser 0
So, were you actually dumb enough to open champagne with the cork pointed at your face? I mean I guess I could believe there was some sort of ricochet shot involved, but it seems unlikely the cork would still have enough speed to cause injury.