Today, I was in a car accident. After screaming at the woman for running into me, I got in my car and drove off. As I was driving away, I was staring her down when I ended up rear-ending the person in front of me. FML

Today, I rear-ended a car while I was texting about the accident ahead which was causing all the traffic. FML

Today, I got into a wreck thanks to a big flashing sign on the highway that said, "Keep your eyes on the road" that distracted me. FML

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Today, I was in a car accident while driving to my brother's school to drop off some documents that he had to bring in, and forgot at home. While not even driving at 20 km/h, I started drifting on an icy spot. I hit a road sign and my car fell into a ditch. I probably have a concussion. FML

Today, I got into a car accident. The other driver was going so fast that when we hit, our cars positioned themselves to make it look like it was all my fault. He keeps blaming me for everything and the position of the cars doesn't help. FML

Today, I ran into a car. I suffered a concussion and broke my nose. I wasn't driving. I walked right into it. It was parked. FML

Today, while driving, I got a call on my cell phone. Trying to be safe and avoid an accident, I pulled into the nearest parking lot before answering. While I was turning in to park, someone rear-ended me. FML

Today, I was involved in a car accident. I wasn't the driver of either car. I happened to be a passerby that was hit by a falling stop sign as a car hit it. FML

What are the odds?

Today, while driving my car, there was a talk on the radio about road safety. I got so engrossed that I drifted and crashed my car into a sign promoting the talk. FML