Today, I learned that the guy I was seeing had a girlfriend that... - FML

By Anonymous

Today, I learned that the guy I was seeing had a girlfriend that he hid from me. I found this out when she attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1741

You deserved it

132

Tweet

Share

This Charming Man

BO Central

Mute

By goblue - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30379

You deserved it

3152

Tweet

Share

By Keesha - 18/3/2021 19:30 - United States - Loveland

Kinky

Today, my mother bitched at me for spending $200 on a new clothes I needed for my new job as a bank teller. I then received a notification on my phone that my mother's lingerie order was shipped. She spent $800 on teddies and crotchless panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1027

You deserved it

61

Tweet

Share

By Jlipka - United States

Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31761

You deserved it

5581

Tweet

Share

By notsoclean - United States

Today, I was at the dentist's, getting my teeth cleaned. He thought it would be funny to suddenly go on in detail about the fantastic sex he and his wife had the night before. I was unable to speak the entire time. The dentist is my grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45299

You deserved it

3669

Tweet

Share

By OfficeFatty - United States

Today, my skinny co-worker complained that sitting just underneath the AC vent was making her too cold. My boss had us switch places, because "your mass keeps you warm anyway". FML

I agree, your life sucks

35661

You deserved it

4957

Tweet

Share

By Where is the faith in Humanity - United States - Tacoma

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44297

You deserved it

9008

Tweet

Share

By Leslie - United States

Today, my husband left me for one of the college students I was tutoring in Spanish. We have two kids and are expecting a third. He left a note that said he would "stay in touch." FML

I agree, your life sucks

47048

You deserved it

2814

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/3/2021 00:30

Don't be an asshole

Today, the only person I know that ever traveled with me told me he doesn't enjoy the experience and thinks I'm an asshole, so I don't have a travel buddy any more. Every affordable trip requires two people. FML

I agree, your life sucks

345

You deserved it

1002

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25894

You deserved it

11381

Tweet

Share

By So so close to clean - United States - Warren

Today, with words of encouragement from my mom, I vacuumed my room. After finishing and admiring my job well done, I went to put the vacuum away. It caught on the plug for my electric razor which was dangling below the dresser and yanked that and everything else that was on top of it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5311

You deserved it

1227

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, I tripped over a kid at work. She was sitting on the floor with her legs sticking out into the walkway. Her mom caused a scene, accusing me of doing it on purpose. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1724

You deserved it

91

Tweet

Share

By HughGorgy - Canada

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

I agree, your life sucks

17332

You deserved it

102852

Tweet

Share

By hihaay - United States

Today, while on the bus, I found out the seat I'd taken was the preferred spot of a very hostile and extremely overweight freshman. Instead of letting me find different place to sit, she half sat on me, and completely ignored my attempts to dislodge myself all the way to school. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30048

You deserved it

2946

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Spring Hill

Today, my new calculus teacher taught everything using nothing but soccer terms and analogies, just so the resident idiot meatheads would understand. I didn't learn a thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44123

You deserved it

5365

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Frisco

Today, for the first time ever, one of my birthday wishes came true. I wished for my crush to come hang out with me, and she did. I wasted my birthday wish on an awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12452

You deserved it

3158

Tweet

Share

By Lizziebelle - United States - Seattle

Today, my horse learned a new acrobatic trick. Unfortunately, I was still on top of him when he tried to somersault. The horse is fine. I'm in the hospital, fresh out of surgery for a broken femur. FML

I agree, your life sucks

9765

You deserved it

744

Tweet

Share

By Username - United States

Today, my roommate informed me that one of her scorpions is loose in our apartment again. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks

35384

You deserved it

3341

Tweet

Share

By Marie - United States - Jacksonville

Today, it was my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend. As we were about to exchange gifts, he got a call and said he had to go home immediately. What was the emergency? His guild leader couldn't find another healer to finish a raid and promised my boyfriend gear if he would step up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26059

You deserved it

4676

Tweet

Share

By kimhinesvoinea - United States

Today, I took multiple pictures of my blanket and pillow pet, trying to get the "perfect pose" so I could post it on Facebook with a cheesy joke. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16403

You deserved it

43554

Tweet

Share

By nobar

Today, I learned how to make my fridge colder. I felt that what it was set on felt a little warmer than normal, so I turned it down. Now everything in my fridge is frozen. FML

I agree, your life sucks

695

You deserved it

1629

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - United States - Cottonwood

Today, I started my first day of work at our local humane society. I asked where the break room was, so my coworker directed me to a small room in the back of the building. The only place I get to take my lunch break is the same room where they euthanize, freeze and cremate the animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28857

You deserved it

7889

Tweet

Share

By Diblo - United Kingdom - Glasgow

Diblo's story

Today, I was in a middle school for work experience. One of the teachers was reading the class I was in a story about a man called Diblo. Innocent enough, right? Nope. He repeatedly misread it as Dildo for the entire passage. The kids laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1866

You deserved it

199

Tweet

Share

By stressedoutsquaddie - United Kingdom - York

Today, while away on training with the army, my housemates rang me to tell me some news. They had found a perfect house for next year and they had put an offer on it. The only problem? There are 5 of us and the house is for 4. Guess who hasn't been included. FML

I agree, your life sucks

19645

You deserved it

1286

Tweet

Share

By Nish - United States - Kent

Today, I got my cats a new scratching post. They completely ignored it and tore apart the new felt on my pool table. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40095

You deserved it

5067

Tweet

Share

By anon - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16976

You deserved it

70766

Tweet

Share

By cock blocked - United States - San Francisco

Today, I started work cleaning a customer's pool. I think her husband watches too much porn because he keeps glaring at me from the windows, and I overheard him telling his wife that he knows what's "going on" and that he's "not gonna let it happen". FML

I agree, your life sucks

33055

You deserved it

2459

Tweet

Share

By left4dead - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went on a field trip with some people from school. I'm currently confined to a wheelchair, so I had to rely on my sister to get around. She eventually went off with her friends, assuming that the people nearby would keep me company. Five minutes later, they'd all left me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27740

You deserved it

2066

Tweet

Share

By stuck - United States - California

Today, I paid a locksmith $100 after I locked myself out of my apartment. All he did was hit it, and it flung open. It wasn't locked, it'd just got stuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11247

You deserved it

23890

Tweet

Share

By overly nationalistic redneck - Norway - Ytre Arna

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48229

You deserved it

5293

Tweet

Share

By JeffeeBojangles - United States

Today, my grandma seemingly decided that it was a really nice day to put my cat in the dryer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

33374

You deserved it

2541

Tweet

Share

By ohEw - United States - Pasadena

Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3909

You deserved it

244

Tweet

Share

By Amrit - 3/4/2021 01:01 - United Kingdom

Eastenders

Today, I found out that a few years ago, when I lost my kids to my ex-wife, it was because my current wife secretly hated having to be their stepmom, so she conspired with my ex to ruin the custody hearing in my ex's favour. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1710

You deserved it

146

Tweet

Share

By filipkm - Slovenia - Ljubljana

Today, I heard on television that a body was found in my city's water reservoir. Word is that it was dead for over a week. I've been drinking and showering with that water. FML

I agree, your life sucks

14357

Phew, glad it wasn't me

2775

Tweet

Share

By In urgent need of a new roommate - United States - West Linn

Today, I woke up at 3:00 am to the sound of a bird screeching. Turns out, my roommate bought a parrot without consulting me first. Even better, my roommate expects me to pay for half of the bird's expenses. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44447

You deserved it

3354

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to take our first shower together. When he came into the room, he had swimming trunks on. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40175

You deserved it

5612

Tweet

Share

By peacechick25 - United States

Today, as a finisher to a date with my girlfriend we decided to park behind the school and mess around. As we were pulling into a dark shaded spot, she drove straight into a snow bank. We spent the rest of our time together trying to dig the car out. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10611

You deserved it

27589

Tweet

Share

By dumbucksally

Today, my 30-year-old boyfriend of 4 years OD'd on his mental health medication, resulting in a trip to the hospital. He said the experience was eye-opening and he wants to be 100% honest with me. He then said he wants to have sex with his biological mother, who he finally met last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

3672

You deserved it

220

Tweet

Share

By Username

Today, after we'd let an author rent out our cabin, we read in the book of poems he wrote while staying that he'd described how he enjoyed sitting on our table naked. The same table we often eat off. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32321

You deserved it

5145

Tweet

Share

By LP - United States

Today, my mom accused me of having an eating disorder, and I didn't correct her. Truth is, I lost weight after I went off the pill a year ago. I'm too embarrassed to tell my mom that I haven't had anyone in a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40867

You deserved it

7556

Tweet

Share

By fxck - South Africa - Durban

Today, while walking home, I passed some guy loudly whining that foreign imports are destroying our economy, and that we should all be deported. When I pointed out that the mobile phone in his hand was clearly a Samsung, he turned bright red and punched me in the gut. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26118

You deserved it

4931

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By Nakomai | 17

#7830786 - Monday 12 August 2019 16:36

Why do people never hold their significant other accountable and go after the other person?

By stormy0307 | 16

#7830761 - Monday 12 August 2019 14:01

You pressed charges against her right?

COMMENTS

By stormy0307 | 16

#7830761 - Monday 12 August 2019 14:01

You pressed charges against her right?

By Nakomai | 17

#7830786 - Monday 12 August 2019 16:36

Why do people never hold their significant other accountable and go after the other person?

Reply

cacheson | 41

#7830789 - Monday 12 August 2019 17:15

People love their significant others and are afraid of losing them and being alone, so out of fear they choose the next best/easiest target, which is the “mistress” to take out their anger. Unfortunately most people are not self-aware enough to realize their displaced feelings so they are just reactionary and ignorant about it.

By Mungolikecandy | 19

#7830802 - Monday 12 August 2019 18:11

I never understand why people attack the other person rather than their own cheating partner (not that either is a good option). Usually, the other person is like in this case, oblivious they are with a cheat.