Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML - FML

By LilaTheGreat - 5/5/2013 23:51 - United States - Boyd

Today, I got into a car crash, in my own garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23477

You deserved it

44088

Tweet

Share

KoBabe

Fashion Police

Deep-seated resentment

By friedchicken - 12/11/2011 06:43 - Canada

Today, I was following my friend to her house in my car, because I didn't know where it was. I'd been following her for at least an hour when she pulled into a gas station. Turns out I'd been following the wrong car. I have no idea where I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

32722

You deserved it

10600

Tweet

Share

By Loud - 8/9/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16448

You deserved it

8336

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 3/10/2019 16:00

Nature calls

Today, I had to use a drop hole toilet while camping. The smell will haunt me for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1030

You deserved it

595

Tweet

Share

By Alright. - 24/9/2012 08:15 - United States - Missoula

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he says, "There's too much of an age gap between us" and that it makes him "feel like a pedophile". He's only four months older than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks

30009

You deserved it

2061

Tweet

Share

By raquelcita - 26/8/2016 06:05 - United States - Winter Park

Today, I went to my boss with concerns that my manager is dumping her responsibilities on me. He agreed and told me to just do whatever she wants. She gets paid twice as much as me to talk on her cellphone all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13560

You deserved it

925

Tweet

Share

By a816090 - 26/9/2019 16:00

Family portrait

Today, my boyfriend sent a picture of me posing with our dog to his family via a group text. Along with our 25" bong. FML

I agree, your life sucks

726

You deserved it

1207

Tweet

Share

By disturbedgd - 14/9/2016 11:29 - South Africa

Today, after years of listening to my coworker complaining about everything in her life, including her job, I finally stood up to her and bitched at her for complaining and not doing anything about it. She went to my boss, and now it's in my job description to listen to her when she complains. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17891

You deserved it

1869

Tweet

Share

By acnebutt - 27/8/2011 22:30 - United States

Today, thanks to my peripheral vision and a dropped mirror, I realized that I have horrible acne on my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29521

You deserved it

5396

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 19/9/2014 16:06 - Belgium - Poperinge

Today, my boyfriend broke things off, because he says I have a "horrible, horrible personality" and that I'm only really fuck-buddy material, which is a problem because he wants something long-term. We've been dating for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

39056

You deserved it

3887

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 23/3/2009 05:42 - Canada

Today, at the gym, I saw this really pretty girl. Trying to impress her, I started lifting with heavy weights. One of the weights slipped out of my hand. I then dropped the other one, trying to make it seem like it was on purpose. I dropped the weight on my phone. I squealed. She giggled. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13644

You deserved it

87275

Tweet

Share

By None - 8/2/2009 17:18 - United States

Today, I auditioned for the musical at my school. Before I sang my song, I gave my music to the director. She said "Oh, I love this song!". After I sang it, she told me, "Its okay, I still like the song." FML

I agree, your life sucks

29509

You deserved it

4993

Tweet

Share

By broke_otaku - 9/8/2009 04:21 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me to sniff his armpit to see if he was the one who smelled. I did because we are that comfortable with us. After a couple of sniffs I heard laughter. I forgot I was sitting in his living room and his family was watching me the whole time. I am now the BO finder. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13132

You deserved it

48968

Tweet

Share

By Unistudent - 30/1/2019 13:00 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, I mustered up the courage to take a dump in a public toilet so I went to the disabled toilet in our university library. I did my thing, the flush didn't work, I pulled the red string thinking it would do something and a buzzer started ringing throughout the whole university. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1251

You deserved it

2177

Tweet

Share

By ewww - 30/7/2011 14:07 - United States

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40611

You deserved it

4002

Tweet

Share

By Ab - 10/2/2009 01:50 - United States

Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks

20241

You deserved it

42548

Tweet

Share

By Wow. Really? - 29/4/2013 18:07 - United States - Columbus

Today, my fiancée broke off our engagement. For some bizarre reason, she'd hidden a pair of expensive boots and her iPad underneath our ride-on mower. I turned the mower on and destroyed both without realizing it. According to her, the fault is all mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks

57677

You deserved it

3995

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/10/2013 14:29 - United States - Worcester

Today, we had a safety meeting at my warehouse job. They had an entire power point based around their message, "Stop getting hurt; it costs the company too much money." FML

I agree, your life sucks

42342

You deserved it

4200

Tweet

Share

By jreed509 - 3/7/2011 05:25 - United States

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40669

You deserved it

4095

Tweet

Share

By Tee - 26/3/2010 08:48 - France

Today, I got locked inside my office again by my co-workers because they had forgotten I was still around when they left. This happens 1 or 2 times a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31949

You deserved it

4387

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 16/3/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26642

You deserved it

13586

Tweet

Share

By run4fun - 23/6/2011 18:56 - United States

Today, I attempted to bleach my body hair so I wouldn't have to shave. A little while later, I realized that I'd also succeeded in bleaching my skin, which was incredibly noticeable. I'm hosting a pool party this weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks

11806

You deserved it

48943

Tweet

Share

By totallyembarassed - 7/7/2012 04:08 - United States - Charlotte

Today, when I went to pay for my groceries, I accidentally handed the cashier a condom instead of my $20. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12950

You deserved it

28648

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 27/3/2018 22:00 - United States - Papillion

Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me with my best friend. He actually had the balls to say her leg was asleep and he was trying to wake it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5267

You deserved it

331

Tweet

Share

By dizzlewizzle - 6/3/2009 02:29 - United States

Today, I was getting restless in my psychology class. I stretched out both of my arms and hands into the aisles on either side of me, only to find myself with my teacher's package in my palm. FML

I agree, your life sucks

53031

You deserved it

11752

Tweet

Share

By Danielle - 9/4/2011 23:00 - United States

Today, while dog sitting, the dog peed on the carpet. There was a bottle of cleaning spray on the counter so I sprayed the spot. Turns out that spray was Clorox Bleach. Now their carpet is bright orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks

18282

You deserved it

27232

Tweet

Share

By jarv49 - 16/3/2012 17:24 - Australia

Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said "nah". FML

I agree, your life sucks

25244

You deserved it

2419

Tweet

Share

By boinger - 3/6/2009 05:23 - United States

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

I agree, your life sucks

21315

You deserved it

60953

Tweet

Share

By poopsthegame - 3/12/2012 07:36 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I walked out of my apartment to see that someone had climbed onto the hood of my car and taken a shit on my windshield. I only moved in a couple of weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks

25870

You deserved it

1809

Tweet

Share

By nicki - 14/11/2010 17:18 - United States

Today, it took me a full ten minutes to finish on the toilet. I was babysitting at the time, and it took the kids those ten minutes to destroy the kitchen and shave the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

31371

You deserved it

8086

Tweet

Share

By Josie Stiger - 19/3/2020 05:00

Denied

Today, I wrote out a note to the guy I liked. I went to hand it to him, but he said, "Sorry, that's not mine," and walked away. I was so nervous, I couldn't speak. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1452

You deserved it

249

Tweet

Share

By Tjop - 15/4/2011 11:50 - South Africa

Today, my girlfriend of 3 and half years broke up with me, just after I fixed-up her house that took me about 3 and a half years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46568

You deserved it

6008

Tweet

Share

By RIP iPhone - 26/2/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, I was using my flashlight app in the driveway to avoid stepping in puddles, as my new shoes are untreated suede. I dropped my phone in the puddle instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks

6463

You deserved it

1989

Tweet

Share

By kerripjones - 14/7/2015 19:44 - United States - Newark

Today, an old friend and I reconnected. Everything was going fine until he threatened to visit me at work. I didn't know he knew my place of employment, so I replied, "Do you know where I live too?" He answered, "Would you hate me if I did?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

27139

You deserved it

2095

Tweet

Share

By youwouldbeacat - 28/4/2009 02:38 - United States

Today, I was making a nacho and grabbed some refried beans that were in a plastic container out of the fridge and put them on top of the chips. After I’m completely done eating my mom looks in the fridge and asked me if I knew where the cat food was. I just ate a small can of cat food. FML

I agree, your life sucks

17714

You deserved it

53388

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 18/4/2015 16:45 - United States - Oakland

Today, I went to the dentist for the first time in years. His first comment upon inspecting my teeth: "Meth. Hell of a drug." FML

I agree, your life sucks

30901

You deserved it

11515

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 5/2/2013 06:40 - United States - Northbrook

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

27060

You deserved it

39490

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 3/10/2016 23:50 - United States - Westerville

Today, the family computer kept overheating. My four-year-old son thought the solution was to pour a nice, cold cup of water on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

12927

You deserved it

1218

Tweet

Share

By NatchezParadox - 9/10/2019 18:00

Tinder surprised

Today, I watched as my Tinder date arrived at the coffee shop and mistook another woman for me. He never realized she was the wrong girl, and they spent the entire date together before leaving. The only similarity between me and the other woman was our hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks

2655

You deserved it

525

Tweet

Share

By CDeVeney92 - 17/3/2012 04:37 - United States

Today, I got threatened with a gun through the drive thru speaker because I didn't offer some guy any pies to go with his meal. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28876

You deserved it

3168

Tweet

Share

By Anonymous - 11/5/2013 05:15 - United States

Today, my parents scoured my browser history, certain that I have a hidden Facebook account that I'm using to get up to no good. Their reasoning was that there's no way my only friends are my relatives and that all I can post about is about the weather. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45201

You deserved it

7403

Tweet

Share

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By sunnyt | 5

#5480459 - Monday 6 May 2013 10:07

Gas instead of brake? I think we've all had one of those moments.

By LGuard | 13

#5480457 - Monday 6 May 2013 10:06

We could do with details on how. If you hopped in and decided to assault the wall then YDI. If not, well I'm struggling to think of how it couldn't be your own fault as you should always check obstacles, selected gear, etc. before you try going anywhere.

COMMENTS

By MotleyManiac | 7

#5480452 - Monday 6 May 2013 10:04

How is that even possible? Did the lawn mower T-Bone you?

By LGuard | 13

#5480457 - Monday 6 May 2013 10:06

We could do with details on how. If you hopped in and decided to assault the wall then YDI. If not, well I'm struggling to think of how it couldn't be your own fault as you should always check obstacles, selected gear, etc. before you try going anywhere.

Reply

Roskosity | 22

#5480736 - Monday 6 May 2013 14:33

It wasn't your fault though, right?

Reply

soccerstar1996 | 18

#5480805 - Monday 6 May 2013 15:51

*Cue ancient aliens guy*

She crashed because..."Aliens"

Reply

feelingold | 18

#5481286 - Monday 6 May 2013 22:31

Final score? Wall 1 : Idiot 0.

By sunnyt | 5

#5480459 - Monday 6 May 2013 10:07

Gas instead of brake? I think we've all had one of those moments.

Reply

ironichalibut | 24

#5480485 - Monday 6 May 2013 10:19

I haven't confused my left and right foot since I was three and learned to put on and tie my own shoes.. Although I have had a confusion of this manner..

Reply

bwinski | 19

#5480488 - Monday 6 May 2013 10:21

^ the guy above me deserves an award!

Reply

ironichalibut | 24

#5480492 - Monday 6 May 2013 10:24

^ Maybe, but nothing bigger than a plaque, please. I don't want to get a big head.

Reply

DogsPaw | 16

#5480621 - Monday 6 May 2013 12:34

I've missed with my foot on the brake/gas in Reverse. I think with how my body is turned it misjudges the pedals. Never gotten into an accident though.

Reply

ApollosMyth | 22

#5480719 - Monday 6 May 2013 14:13

9, maybe it's just the driving school I went to, but they always said that the pedals were both supposed to be controlled with your right foot.

Reply

groovycrazyjoe | 18

#5481273 - Monday 6 May 2013 22:18

you suppose to use one foot while driving

Reply

wjh100 | 13

#5481768 - Tuesday 7 May 2013 5:48

you're supposed to use you're right foot on the gas and brake because on a standard transmission you need you're left exclusily for the clutch

By rttr | 18

#5480466 - Monday 6 May 2013 10:10

I do not know how this could happen unless it was your fault. YDI

By ttr125 | 10

#5480468 - Monday 6 May 2013 10:10

Dumped the clutch and burnt em off...into the wall

By Charryboo | 11

#5480469 - Monday 6 May 2013 10:11

Look at that pretty wall! Now if only we could get a closer look.. OH there we go, can see right inside the wall now! :)

By purplenerple8 | 6

#5480477 - Monday 6 May 2013 10:16

At least you didn't crash through the garage door!

By bigred002 | 17

#5480496 - Monday 6 May 2013 10:25

Who put that wall there?!?!!!

By chanellgymnast | 17

#5480502 - Monday 6 May 2013 10:28

At least it was in your garage and you didn't damage someone else's car--or even someone else!

By chuka81 | 27

#5480506 - Monday 6 May 2013 10:31

Now this sounds like something that only happens in cartoons. Wacky Racers perhaps.