Health: Today, I got hit by a stray cantaloupe. That's not a typo. I...

By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 11:06 - United States - Maryville

Today, I got hit by a stray cantaloupe. That's not a typo. I hate my neighbors' kids with a burning passion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 490

You deserved it 1 356

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I went for a jog. While passing by my neighbor's house, their six year old son started throwing peanuts at me screaming, "I hope this kills you!" because I'm allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 702

You deserved it 3 646

By melonhead - 14/01/2010 08:46 - Australia

Today, my friends thought it would be funny to try and break a watermelon on my head while I was asleep on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 880

You deserved it 3 722

Cue Shaggy

By scully11 - 02/08/2011 18:36 - Canada

Today, my old neighbor pelted me with apples when I walked out the door. I ducked for cover and asked what her problem was. She yelled, "You took fresh peas from my garden!" I looked at her garden, only to see my dad tiptoeing back to our lawn, laughing and holding a bag full of peas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 368

You deserved it 3 349

By Anonymous - 21/05/2012 01:10 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, someone threw an open soda can at me from a car. It missed, so they circled around and threw an unopened can. That one hit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 069

You deserved it 2 028

Juicy

By Anonymous - 06/08/2023 18:00

Today, I got excited when I learned that the fruit on the trees by my apartment building was ripe and free to pick. I picked myself some juicy summer plums and enjoyed them. Minutes later, my tongue started burning painfully. Turns out, I'm allergic to plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 115

By muddled - 02/05/2012 06:16 - United States - Joliet

Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 901

You deserved it 5 133

By melon squash - 11/09/2016 10:15 - Belgium - Kessel-lo

Today, I lifted up a watermelon, not realising it had gone bad. The thing exploded like an alien giving birth. Stinking juice and rotten inside all over the kitchen. Even behind the build-in closets. It smells like rotten fruit cheese and I can't reach behind the closets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 555

You deserved it 1 321

When life gives you lemons…

By Lemonhead - 30/11/2009 05:01 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike back to my house. Suddenly I was hit by something in the head. I looked down to see a lemon on the ground and looked up to see a guy yelling at me in a car that was passing. He was yelling at me because I got in the way of the house he was throwing it at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 012

You deserved it 3 182

By Anonymous - 30/05/2015 03:07 - United States - Salem

Today, my crazy neighbor screamed at me from her porch for walking "too close" to her plants. I was on the sidewalk. She sprayed me with her hose anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 617

You deserved it 2 117

By Anonymous - 04/07/2015 06:25 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I got hit in the face by a ping-pong ball. It hit me so hard, it burst a big zit on impact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 978

You deserved it 3 239

ihartmytdi 23

Monday 29 February 2016 0:39

Time to introduce them to a stray watermelon.

pixierara 28

Monday 29 February 2016 0:35

Have you talked to the parents about it? That's very odd to say the least.

Comments

LostCosmo 5

Monday 29 February 2016 3:08

Sue.

False_Stupidity 41

Tuesday 1 March 2016 4:39

Who's sue?

chisty87 16

Monday 29 February 2016 3:12

Well if you don't want to start a war of fruit and vegetables I'd say it's about time you introduce your leather belt to the kids AND the parents...

rt567 15

Monday 29 February 2016 3:43

go all icarly on them and launch watermelons at them

nikkibodnarchuk 26

Monday 29 February 2016 6:19

Yes, because so many people watch Icarly to know about that.

AlyNStarburst 15

Monday 29 February 2016 4:24

My neighbors are the same way. Sorry you have to deal with that OP. I had a friend come over and my neighbors threw rocks at her brand new BMW.

trucklover7 7

Monday 29 February 2016 4:41

Ok I thought that was a bug or an animal for a few minutes.

runfoxierun 5

Monday 29 February 2016 5:12

It was a run-by fruiting!

interesting33 36

Monday 29 February 2016 8:02

Stray - so they didn't intend to hit you? Still bad though.

cptncuttlefish 24

Monday 29 February 2016 11:11

Don't be so... MELONdramatic! Yeah I'll see myself out.

crackfetus420 12

Monday 29 February 2016 12:43

Hit them with a wrench

RageWolf16 31

Monday 29 February 2016 16:08

The phrase "stray cantaloupe" makes me think of a flea-infested melon wandering the streets begging for food

Keywords

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 28 753

You deserved it 3 574

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You deserved it 597

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I agree, your life sucks 3 579

You deserved it 397

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I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 3 209

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I agree, your life sucks 14 765

You deserved it 36 391

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I agree, your life sucks 26 987

You deserved it 2 552

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I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 226

Today, I was working as a lifeguard. A woman began to have a seizure. Nervous, I went into shock and walked into a tree, knocking myself out. Post seizure, the woman stood up and walked away. Later, I woke up in the hospital. The ambulance had arrived to take her, but ended up taking me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 504

You deserved it 19 518

Same thing different taste

Cue Shaggy

Juicy

When life gives you lemons…

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