Today, I had to pay an exorbitant fee to get my drain unblocked. It turns out it was about a million condoms. My son just got his first serious girlfriend and apparently instead of throwing them in the bin, he flushes their used condoms down the toilet. I’m gonna kill him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my wife's boyfriend learned that you can't flush condoms. FML
Today, the sewage pipe busted on the side of our house, spew fecal matter and the condoms I recently flushed. My parents now refuse to talk to me, and won't let my girlfriend anywhere near the house. FML
Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML
Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to take a video of his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
Today, one of my customer's pipes were blocked. As I went to unblock it, about a handful of used condoms collided with my face. I don't know if I should be disgusted by this or disgusted by my customer. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when the condom broke. He told me to go put a tampon in to "soak up the kids". How did he graduate? FML
Today, I had to call a plumber out, because my idiot daughter clogged the pipes while trying to flush a hamburger down the toilet. FML
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Top comments
mike3775 39
I would rather pay an exorbitant bill to unplug the pipes then have to raise a child created by teenagers. Talk to your son and tell him to toss them instead of flushing them
49_Donuts 15
Punishment not needed, just explanation about proper disposal. He did not know. He’s being responsible! Be supportive here
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Comments (12)
poopface82 25
Note to self; invent flushable condom. Make billions.
Marcella1016 32
Billions of babies, maybe.
mike3775 39
I would rather pay an exorbitant bill to unplug the pipes then have to raise a child created by teenagers. Talk to your son and tell him to toss them instead of flushing them
VintageReddress 13
Did you not have the sex talk with your son prior to him getting in any relationship? That talk should have included how to properly dispose of various protection methods. YDI - it’s your responsibility as a parent to teach things like this, no matter how small, not just the school’s.
49_Donuts 15
Punishment not needed, just explanation about proper disposal. He did not know. He’s being responsible! Be supportive here
Vesi 30
To be fair, some guys do this to prevent the girl from taking the used condom and inseminating self anyway. I had a BF who did that a long time ago. I get the trust/scared issue, too. But yes, tossed in the kitchen trash in a tissue may allay those fears if that is why he's flushing them.
RichardPencil 32
Hey, at least they weren't top secret classified documents vital to national security. I've heard some people do that.
jobekka 20
i was told a hundred times before I started getting my period not to flush tampons. people won't know unless you tell them
loopylaura88 17
I mean, at least he's being safe and no dumbest grand babies will be born
Jesse Duff 15
at least you know it's paying for one clog instead of kids, perhaps you should have been more open in how to have safe sex
Gemfez 17
Make him pay off the bill. Life lesson.