Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, we got the results of our family's ancestry DNA tests. My father isn't related to me, but my grandfather is still my grandfather. Apparently grandma cheated on grandpa to get 'dad', and my mother cheated on 'dad' with my 'uncle' to get me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 8 years and I received our results from a DNA test. We're both very interested in history and ancestry, and wanted to see where in the world we both originated. It turns out we have the same father. FML
Today with a DNA test, I found out that my husband is my half brother. 30 years ago his father made a donation to the sperm bank my mother used, and I’m the result. To make matters worse, I’m pregnant. FML
Today, my dad's will included a DNA test he did on me when I was 3, proving I’m not his son. I thought we had a great relationship, but apparently he secretly hated me all these years for mom cheating, and decided to embarrass me in front of our family, half of whom it turns out I’m not related to. FML
Today, my sister and I decided to do one of those online DNA tests just for fun. Our mom came in, saw all the stuff on the table, and lost her mind. She started bawling and apologizing. Apparently, neither one or neither of us actually belong to my dad. FML
Today, my husband presented me with a DNA test proving that our newborn daughter isn't his. Confused, I got her tested again. She's not a match to me either. FML
Today, I took a DNA test and it turns out that the person who I thought was my dad is not my actual dad and my real dad is his best friend. FML
Today, during divorce proceedings, I decided to have my kids DNA tested. Neither of my kids are mine. My daughter's real father is unknown but my son's DNA identifies him as related to me, but not as my son, so he’s more likely my nephew, meaning his dad is one of my brothers. FML
Today, my ex mother-in-law stupidly made an offhand comment, so I got my kids DNA tested. NONE, I repeat NONE of them is mine. When I think of the thousands I’ve paid in child support I’ll never get back, and now my own mother thinks I’m an asshole for refusing to pay any further. FML
Today, I’ve suffered my whole life with a bunch of genetic conditions and I found out why at my dad's funeral. A bunch of relatives from America attended and one of them secretly told me my parents emigrated to England under a cloud of shame because they were brother and sister. I’m inbred. FML
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Top comments
FaygoAndMiracles 18
Even though it would have been best for them to tell you, maybe it just didn't matter to them because they know that the real parents are who raise you, not who you are biologically from.
iloveCS8 11
That sucks FYL! but as long as your "father" treated you with love and raised you as his own,then remember the good memories and know he loves you just as he would if you were his real son
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Comments (96)
SilverAngel36 8
How are you only 50% match to your mom? If your mom is your biological mom shouldn't it be in the 90 percentile?
ThatWeirdGurl 20
You receive half of your genes from your mother and half from your father. Both parents donate half of their genetic material Each to their off spring. So it couldn't not possibly be ninety percent.
ballbearing 10
Have you never watched Maury?? He doesn't declare you are 50% match therefore the father! Noooo!!! It's 99.9% you are the father!!
samanthahwill 2
No. Half your DNA may come from one parent and half from the other, but every human has considerably more than 90% similar DNA. It's what makes us the same species.
tj4234 36
I'm interested to know, what caused you to get the test in the first place?
evilhobbitofdoom 4
Ancestry.com does DNA testing to help with genealogy.
Kiwimaid 9
It really isn't a big deal :)
jjmiller1001 17
so what OP? any fool can be a baby daddy. it takes a real man to be a father. and I'm guessing that's what you have, so don't let it stand in the way of being happy
thundergodx 11
That technology wasn't around then... She fooled around -pregnancy proctor
1crabbygirl 10
Technology? OP didn't say in vitro. You can donate sperm with a turkey baster. And I am pretty sure that technology was around 35 years ago.
RedPillSucks 33
@39. Not to lessen your point, but in-vitro started in the late 70's early 80's so it could have been used...
DuRpY 5
First, this FML read like a book. After the first half, I was like, whaaaat? Uh oh, we've got a mystery on our hands, and OP just found out that her mother was a cheating *****. And this is where I paused for a second to relish in the suspense, and pondered a little on what OP will do with this newfound damaging information. Will she keep it to herself,
DuRpY 5
I think it's sweet and reassuring that it turned out it to be an innocent thing like this. Halfway through the post, I predicted that it was going to go an entirely different direction, namely that the mother had cheated on the father all those years ago. Glad to see my cynical self stand corrected. Also, OP, consider this: Had your parents not failed at their attempted pregnancy, you would not be here. It took the genetic combination of your biological mother, and some completely random stranger outside of their marriage, someone with whom she should by all means have no association whatsoever, to produce you. Your parents tried their best to have a child of their own, and when they couldn't, they went the extra mile. I wouldn't doubt their love. Stop griping.
profoundkisses 18
Well it probably didn't matter who's baby it was they still love you the same :)
Tpracingkg 15
How?
angelitared 27
If they have been good parents, what does it matter??