Today, I got ancestry DNA tests for my parents and myself. The DNA testing company informed me that I'm a 50% match for my mother but I share no DNA with my father. Apparently, both my parents forgot that they used a sperm donor. This insignificant detail has slipped their minds for 35 years. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, we got the results of our family's ancestry DNA tests. My father isn't related to me, but my grandfather is still my grandfather. Apparently grandma cheated on grandpa to get 'dad', and my mother cheated on 'dad' with my 'uncle' to get me. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 8 years and I received our results from a DNA test. We're both very interested in history and ancestry, and wanted to see where in the world we both originated. It turns out we have the same father. FML
Today with a DNA test, I found out that my husband is my half brother. 30 years ago his father made a donation to the sperm bank my mother used, and I’m the result. To make matters worse, I’m pregnant. FML
Today, my dad's will included a DNA test he did on me when I was 3, proving I’m not his son. I thought we had a great relationship, but apparently he secretly hated me all these years for mom cheating, and decided to embarrass me in front of our family, half of whom it turns out I’m not related to. FML
Today, my sister and I decided to do one of those online DNA tests just for fun. Our mom came in, saw all the stuff on the table, and lost her mind. She started bawling and apologizing. Apparently, neither one or neither of us actually belong to my dad. FML
Today, my husband presented me with a DNA test proving that our newborn daughter isn't his. Confused, I got her tested again. She's not a match to me either. FML
Today, I took a DNA test and it turns out that the person who I thought was my dad is not my actual dad and my real dad is his best friend. FML
Today, during divorce proceedings, I decided to have my kids DNA tested. Neither of my kids are mine. My daughter's real father is unknown but my son's DNA identifies him as related to me, but not as my son, so he’s more likely my nephew, meaning his dad is one of my brothers. FML
Today, my ex mother-in-law stupidly made an offhand comment, so I got my kids DNA tested. NONE, I repeat NONE of them is mine. When I think of the thousands I’ve paid in child support I’ll never get back, and now my own mother thinks I’m an asshole for refusing to pay any further. FML
Today, I’ve suffered my whole life with a bunch of genetic conditions and I found out why at my dad's funeral. A bunch of relatives from America attended and one of them secretly told me my parents emigrated to England under a cloud of shame because they were brother and sister. I’m inbred. FML
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Top comments
FaygoAndMiracles 18
Even though it would have been best for them to tell you, maybe it just didn't matter to them because they know that the real parents are who raise you, not who you are biologically from.
iloveCS8 11
That sucks FYL! but as long as your "father" treated you with love and raised you as his own,then remember the good memories and know he loves you just as he would if you were his real son
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Comments (96)
tasman_margaret 14
Why should it matter? They both loved you like you were their own. They both wanted you.
fksfsdhfsdfh 26
At least you are not adopted (Sorry adopted people)
onorexveritas 24
what if op was adopted and their biological parents were horrible people? it wouldn't be so bad then.
Bakarra 22
You're a dick #13! *Runs off hysterically, arms flailing wildly*
CharresBarkrey 16
What's wrong with being adopted?
jarrettd 27
Nothing because you win the adoption game when you're adopted.
dixiefoxx 22
What the hell? I'm adopted and I don't see a problem with it
RedPillSucks 33
Plus. If your parents or siblings are jerks you can think "Thank GOD I'm adopted".
bestofbritish93 8
That's an awful thing to say, I know a number of people who have been adopted and their parents think the world of them and vice versa.
bestofbritish93 8
# 61 Take no notice sweetie, this persons just an idiot whose opinion doesn't count for anything. Just remember your parents longed for you, that persons parents are stuck with an idiot who makes ridiculous comments like that one! X :)
BellaBelle_fml 23
It almost seems as though you were attempting sarcasm or a joke of some kind and were not really serious about the whole being adopted thing. However, wether kidding or not, it was in poor taste. It's never really ok to joke around with adoption.
noreallywhat 17
the only thing I can think is do they have a family medical history on the donor? You have to give one every time you are at the doctor.
monnanon 14
ive only had to give full medical history twice. i can see it mattering for certain medicines or for certain conditions but not every time
amykins11 6
I know it sounds weird that it slipped their mind but it's because you are their child regardless of genes... My ex worried about family medical history all the time forgetting our son wasn't his biological child
onorexveritas 24
so what? they love and raised you
Alicestraza 33
I'm more concerned that you haven't known your family medical history for 35 years. That was a really stupid thing to keep from you. Sorry OP, I'd feel a little betrayed even though it doesn't change too much.
Somefruits 24
It doesn't matter as much as you might think. Becoming a sperm donor is not taken lightly and only guys with excellent family health histories can qualify (unless it's sperm from a family friend), so if half your genes are from a sperm bank, you're healthier than a lot of people!
Alicestraza 33
Oh I wasn't aware of the procedure for sperm donation. Disregard my previous comment then :-P
emilyjgraham 34
I think that's one of the first times I've seen someone respond without getting all attitude-y!
Zeishah 26
don't let this detail affect your relationship with your parents op.
babeababe 16
Although that is a really big thing to forget. It could be possible. Sometimes when people really want to forget something, they actually can. I've blocked out half of my teenage life somehow. I remember things here and there, and I'll be reminded sometimes from someone or something. But I just didn't really want to remember most of it, so I chose not to. And just because biologically he's not your father doesn't mean he's not your dad.
timelessone 16
I guess what they say about the milk man is true.
peacelovecoffee 20
Lol, you must have gotten the Groupon.