Today, I got a text message from my ex from about a year ago, asking if my 4-day-old son was his. I don't know what's sadder - the fact that he thinks a gestation period can last 11 months, or that he's more willing to step up to the plate than the baby's actual father. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML
Today, my baby daddy texted me after months of me being alone and pregnant, asking if we could hang out. I'm on bed rest, and almost due. FML
Today, I went to get an ultrasound done. I texted my ex, who's the father, and told him how adorable its little feet are, and asked him why he didn't come. I got a reply with two words: "DNA test". FML
Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML
Today, I got a message from a woman. It was my boyfriend of five years' ex-girlfriend, telling me that she’s pregnant with his baby and that they’ve been together for a year. FML
Today, I'm 9 months pregnant and the father of my child has suddenly decided that the child I've carried for 9 months isn't his, and that it was "too late" to try and fix our relationship. He's the only man who could be the father, he's just finding every excuse to say, "Sorry, but no thank you." FML
Today, I found out that my ex is expecting another kid. Not only is this a man who tried to hook up with me last month, he's also the one who, when I asked him to pay child support for our two, told me that he could just "make some more". Guess he was right. FML
Today, as things were finally heating up with a guy I'm interested in, his ex-girlfriend from two months ago called. Guess who's pregnant and guess who's still in a seven-month dry spell. FML
Today, I found out that I'm a dad. My ex from 8 years ago contacted me through facebook. I'm happy I have a kid, but apparently she only contacted me because she wants me to start paying child support, now her boyfriend who provided for them left. FML
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Top comments
kut19 6
I'd say the deadbeat is sadder.
PennyLane27 32
A man doesn't have to be a biological father to be a daddy!
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Comments (207)
KellyIsTheBest32 12
it is sad that the baby's father isn't stepping up, but a pregnancy can last more than 9 months. while it is extremely rare, the longest pregnancy was 17 months. and there was a middle eastern woman who carried a dead fetus for 42 years, then delivered it in her 70's. but some wouldn't count that as a pregnancy because the fetus was dead for so long. if your one of those people, then 17 months is the longest a someone has carried a baby
icanhazblivions 1
...Maybe he just doesn't mark up on a calendar when people dump him. After 2 months, the months all run together anyways.
HomeAl0ne 20
He knew when he left that you were keeping his sperm in the freezer so you could have a summer baby. Some genes are just too good an opportunity to pass up.
ST3PHAN13 4
#96 Go preach your views somewhere else. If she chooses to be a single parent good on her, she should be honest. My mother has had four children all by different men, my father is the only one who has stayed and looked look after myself and my two sisters, while my mother has married her partner of 13 years and had a baby again. My sisters and I came from a single family, my eldest sister is married and has a child, my other sister is engaged, soon to be married, and I myself have been in a committed relationship for over a year. Did we turn out bad because we had a "shit family life"? Please, educate yourself.
monkeyjoe 0
I think that if u have a shit family it can drive u to do better SOMETIMES because my mom left and I have done everything to end up not like her
simmylouise 0
I agree! My mother is a single parent and the only one in our traditional english family; the rest of the family expected me to fail because of the fact that I was raised by a single mother. I am the only one of the cousins who hasn't been arrested or dropped out of university, this just shows that kids from two parent households don't alway turn out to be better than those from single parent families.
princesskiski 1
at least one guy wants to be the father
angelbaby01 0
a woman has been pregnant for a year. and that sucks about the real dad hope unless your 16
thatssomeBS 9
Maybe you shouldn't get knocked up in two months or less with the new guy? YDI.
writergirl23 19
say no but ask him if he wants to be the kids second daddy :)
mike666 0
he does not want this kid to grow up with out a father so he taking the postion as dad and id say he made the right decsion let him be the dad cause he showing he cares
BlAzEtHiS 0
You only have yourself to blame. You **** it up, and have unprotected sex with several partners, you deal with the consequences