Today, I got a text message from my ex from about a year ago, asking if my 4-day-old son was his. I don't know what's sadder - the fact that he thinks a gestation period can last 11 months, or that he's more willing to step up to the plate than the baby's actual father. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML
Today, my baby daddy texted me after months of me being alone and pregnant, asking if we could hang out. I'm on bed rest, and almost due. FML
Today, I went to get an ultrasound done. I texted my ex, who's the father, and told him how adorable its little feet are, and asked him why he didn't come. I got a reply with two words: "DNA test". FML
Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML
Today, I got a message from a woman. It was my boyfriend of five years' ex-girlfriend, telling me that she’s pregnant with his baby and that they’ve been together for a year. FML
Today, I'm 9 months pregnant and the father of my child has suddenly decided that the child I've carried for 9 months isn't his, and that it was "too late" to try and fix our relationship. He's the only man who could be the father, he's just finding every excuse to say, "Sorry, but no thank you." FML
Today, I found out that my ex is expecting another kid. Not only is this a man who tried to hook up with me last month, he's also the one who, when I asked him to pay child support for our two, told me that he could just "make some more". Guess he was right. FML
Today, as things were finally heating up with a guy I'm interested in, his ex-girlfriend from two months ago called. Guess who's pregnant and guess who's still in a seven-month dry spell. FML
Today, I found out that I'm a dad. My ex from 8 years ago contacted me through facebook. I'm happy I have a kid, but apparently she only contacted me because she wants me to start paying child support, now her boyfriend who provided for them left. FML
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Top comments
kut19 6
I'd say the deadbeat is sadder.
PennyLane27 32
A man doesn't have to be a biological father to be a daddy!
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Comments (207)
amaya726 4
you should be more careful picking your men if the father of your baby isn't stepping up.
Coolbreezer 0
lol. tell him yes and ask for child support
VelvetRain 6
Before slagging off this poor girl, why not think about the arsehole who got her pregnant and then went off? It takes two people to make a baby
heatherduthie 0
More sad* proper English please
Queenfaria 12
Its SADDER ... Genius wannabe.
Nederlander95 14
This means that you got pregnant a less than 2 months after your relationship; I'm guessing you either cheated on him, or this was a one night stand. Questionable morals either way.
Baller_Bob 17
Might as well say its his
Pinkraincoat 18
You should have said yes.
krgoks 10
This is important note for everybody: If you actually care about the people you are messing around with, wait 3-4 weeks before getting serious with a new partner or giving your new partner that same span after they break up from a serious relationship. As several comments say: Gestational periods are still normal up to 292 days. Some women take longer: one in particular was 375 days.
AntiSocialKitten 21
wait...that means you got pregnant 2-3 months after breaking up with your ex....
Tyrax 16
Well. There have been a few pregnancies that went longer than 9 months, so maybe he's hoping that's the case here? And, while the baby's actual father should step up, you apparently got pregnant within 2 months. Not acceptable, but somewhat understandable that he might be leery.