By notthedad - China
Today, I got a call from my long distance girlfriend. She's about a month pregnant. I haven't seen her in person for six months, but she still insists it's mine. I don't know which would be worse: her lying or her being that stupid. FML
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  I_iz_B_a_troll  |  23

Well op, which is worse depends on how she was raised, because the nature and nurture of that baby may lead to the creation of more dumb bitches. FYL, and hopefully the real daddy is a nice guy; if not, comgratz on the baby and good luck on the gf that aren't truly yours!(: you'll do fine.

  Anai08  |  17

Actually I think OP's girlfriend isn't so much stupid as she is desperate. She obviously wants to think that OP's the dad. Maybe she wanted to tell him it was his in the hope that he wouldn't argue against it. Even so, it's still incredibly foolish and sad of a plan. But we all, whether we want to or not, have to deal with the consequences of our own actions.

  lunargh  |  7

@84, a prat is a pregnant goldfish, a twat is a vagina and a twit is an idiot, from 'twite', a small sparrow-like bird. If you're gonna spew etymology for shits and giggles, get it right.

  plum_lovin  |  28

Jeez @215. Just because you know something others don't doesn't mean you have to be "twit" about it. (sorry if I got it wrong for cripes sake) and stop being such a douche.

  ktrose  |  0

No 58, it did not make me sound like a dumb ass. Are you ignorant? Did you not read my comment which simply explained I did not read the OP's name? Of course you didn't. Otherwise you would realize placing your comment was unnecessary.

  fuckmrsoftee  |  0

and then i grabbed her hair and yanked her head around, demanding her to take her fml comment back.. its pointless dont buy into baiting arguments online, and its a waste of time because its not like youre going to be able to do anything about it anyway. buy a sense of humor, watch southpark.

By  ulicksam  |  0

And in the time it took for you to confess it, you could have dumped her. She obviously doesn't think too much of your intelligence and if you still call her your girlfriend, I kind of agree with her.