Omegared
United States
Today, I gave myself a bloody nose while trying to show my brother how to use a yo-yo. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
owmyballs
Thailand
Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML
Username
United States
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Discipl
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Waterloo, Canada
Eat more fibre
Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML
blanknameisblank
This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff
Fayetteville, United States
Strong
Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML
Anonymous
Blow it
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
smells like ass
Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML
Anonymous
Too stupid
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
hopeless
Canada
Today, I was playing tetherball with my younger brother. I get really competitive, so I threw it as hard as I could. It came around and hit me in the face. FML
Anonymous
Vianen, Netherlands
Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
broken
United States
Romance isn't dead
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Top comments
ladiesman219 4
yo yo will **** yo nose up yo
KleenexWaffle 3
Boners go up, and then come back down. Then up, Then down. And so on and so forth until about 65. Then the Viagra comes in where it goes up, and stays up, and stays up some more, still up, up like a teenage kid at his first dance, strong as a wet dream about Scarlett J, straight as a ruler and twice as thick, solid as an 8" flagpole, still up here, and here, and here too, still up, ..., this can't be good, ..., ..., alright I have to go see a doctor but you get the picture. HA! Gave you a mental image of a winky and now you can't stop picturing one! Geez I'm immature. Sorry boys and girls. penis
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Comments (66)
chosha_fml 27
That's a classic!
maa_rico 4
This is not the case of everything that goes up must go down.
yuggi1 11
Don't throw the yo-yo so hard. He, too, have feelings! :,(
KleenexWaffle 3
Boners go up, and then come back down. Then up, Then down. And so on and so forth until about 65. Then the Viagra comes in where it goes up, and stays up, and stays up some more, still up, up like a teenage kid at his first dance, strong as a wet dream about Scarlett J, straight as a ruler and twice as thick, solid as an 8" flagpole, still up here, and here, and here too, still up, ..., this can't be good, ..., ..., alright I have to go see a doctor but you get the picture. HA! Gave you a mental image of a winky and now you can't stop picturing one! Geez I'm immature. Sorry boys and girls. penis
ceepevoy 0
you gotta watch out for those yo yos, they'll get you!!
Idonebeenhad 17
boom headshot!
Idonebeenhad 17
boom headshot!
facilitator 0
I don't think that's how you use it
dt520 4
are those still legal?
4074 0
Darwin award for u