Today, I gave myself a bloody nose while trying to show my brother how to use a yo-yo. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML
Today, my boyfriend was telling me about accidentally punching his best friend in the face. As he was acting it out he ended up punching me and giving me a bloody nose. FML
Eat more fibre
Today, I strained so hard while on the toilet that I gave myself a nosebleed. FML
Strong
Today, I broke my nose trying to pop a zit. FML
Blow it
Today, I reached to pick out a booger stuck in my nose that had been irritating me, and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML
Today, my brother tried to ninja-kick his dirty underwear up into his hand. He failed and it landed on my face. FML
Too stupid
Today, I was picking my nose so aggressively that I flicked a booger right into my eye. FML
Today, I was playing tetherball with my younger brother. I get really competitive, so I threw it as hard as I could. It came around and hit me in the face. FML
Today, while at work, I managed to scrape open the inside of my nose with my fingernail, drawing blood in the process. I had to quickly up an explanation for my scream that didn't go: "Well, I was scouting for boogers..." FML
Romance isn't dead
Today, I was fooling around with my boyfriend in his room. He grabbed me behind the head to pull me in for a hard, romantic kiss. He accidentally smashed my nose into his cheekbone, and my nose started gushing blood and continued to bleed for over 2 hours. It's broken, and he just laughed. FML
Top comments
ladiesman219 4
yo yo will **** yo nose up yo
KleenexWaffle 3
Boners go up, and then come back down. Then up, Then down. And so on and so forth until about 65. Then the Viagra comes in where it goes up, and stays up, and stays up some more, still up, up like a teenage kid at his first dance, strong as a wet dream about Scarlett J, straight as a ruler and twice as thick, solid as an 8" flagpole, still up here, and here, and here too, still up, ..., this can't be good, ..., ..., alright I have to go see a doctor but you get the picture. HA! Gave you a mental image of a winky and now you can't stop picturing one! Geez I'm immature. Sorry boys and girls. penis
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Comments (66)
Barney_Rubble_75 0
No problem. The blood-stained string is easily replaced. You're probably going to need some WD40 or similar lubricant on the mechanism of the yoyo to combat the blood's coagulation/crustiness. Two easy steps and you're back to playing. Don't blame yourself, but your brother might just skip to something like a Rubik's Cube. Kids these days can be real ******* when it comes to pain.
gogokira 5
If op is using a 'real' yoyo those things are usually metal and I stay away from them for fear of this happening.
perdix 31
You idiots ought to go buy a Shakeweight -- I want to see the self-proclaimed "expert" get a blunt-force trauma.
hcovballer247 0
how is that even possible..?(:
Whorebiscuits 4
how the hell did you do that?! xD
SchiTzenGiglez 0
Indeed, quite right
cheerinsaige 0
ohh yikess
FML858 0
I'm dying.. I'm sorry but this is SO funny xD
mimego 0
haha nicee
jetsy1234 0
yoyo was invented by a Filipino.
jetsy1234 0
ftw