Intimacy: Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully... - FML

By Artic - 12/04/2011 04:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 853

You deserved it 16 179

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Same thing different taste

By anne - 17/12/2011 03:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 900

You deserved it 6 028

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 126

You deserved it 4 519

Chubby Love, by Bon Iver

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 07:59

Spicy

Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 1 563

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 867

You deserved it 10 208

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 09/04/2025 02:00

Spicy

Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 168

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 06:00

Spicy

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 1 279

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 16:21 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 801

You deserved it 8 020

By littleguy - 20/08/2009 15:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 833

You deserved it 19 274

Let down

By Anonymous - 26/01/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 365

You deserved it 545

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 023

You deserved it 2 970

Next

Top comments

Alliria 3

Tuesday 12 April 2011 11:57

Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?

bgo7 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 11:48

if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha

Comments

crazycrackah101 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:36

damnnnn :O

canman411 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:37

is he like 11 or something

karmennn 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:42

aww. everyone needs love. even 'smaller' guys!

paolo131 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:44

ahhhhahahaha I'm sorry but I cried when I saw this ahahahahaha

ckrsok41 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:45

im only 13 and mine is 5 in

johnnie254 7

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:52

you deserve better

jorankay411 6

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:52

If he is the "LOVE OF YOUR LIFE" Then size shouldn't matter... as long as the sex is good right??? Is it??? Well it's gotta be if he is "THE LOVE IF YOUR LIFE"... Right???

canman411 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:52

I wonder wat happend to him in high school

imcutefml 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:55

penis pump?

GeneralMotors 23

Wednesday 13 April 2011 6:20

no. your love of you life's penis is that.

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Keywords

Trauma Accident Kids Embarrassing Work Money You're fired Teenagers Pranks Poopoo peepee Transportation NSFW Sex Intimacy Parenting Family Cheating Love Fight Miscellaneous Awkward Lonely Shopping AITA Make up Dreams Medication Liar Weird Weddings

The Top

The Top

Today, I ran into an old friend at the store with my infant daughter. As we caught up, she assured me that I could get rid of all my baby weight from the pregnancy. If only I had actually been pregnant. My wife carried her and looks fantastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 448

You deserved it 1 748

Today, a girl I met on Tinder described herself as curvy and sent me pictures. We agreed to meet and let me say… those pictures were at least 10 years and 15 stone ago. She was no longer curvy or even just overweight, she was grossly obese. I could smell the unwashed skin under her fat rolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 151

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my dorm roommate having sex three feet from me. He was sober, knew I was there, and has a deployed military girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 536

You deserved it 243

Today, I went out to eat at a restaurant. When the waitress saw me, she continously told me how beautiful and kind I was. Flattered, I just said thank you. Five minutes later, one of the ugliest girls I've ever seen in my life walked in. The waitress told her the same exact things she told me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 646

You deserved it 13 599

Today, as the kind person that I am, I let my friend use the washroom before me while I watched our shopping cart. I then found out that the stores closes the washroom at 5 pm, and since I didn’t know, I ended up walking 25 minutes to a gas station in the rain to use one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 142

Today, I made a new friend: the cricket the doctor pulled out of my ear canal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 397

You deserved it 3 460