Intimacy: Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully... - FML

By Artic - 12/04/2011 04:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I found that the love of my life is 3.5 inches, fully erect. My cell phone is bigger than that. FML

agreeclassic 73 839

vote type 1 16 171

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By anne - 17/12/2011 03:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, my husband called me to the bedroom to show me something. This "something" was him demonstrating his seemingly well-trained ability to accurately type out a sentence on my phone using nothing but his erect penis. FML

agreeclassic 35 896

vote type 1 6 025

Backhanded

By wtf - 14/09/2011 18:11 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML

agreeclassic 43 113

vote type 1 4 518

Chubby Love, by Bon Iver

By Anonymous - 11/12/2021 07:59

Spicy

Today, I realised that my husband and I have gotten so fat that his already small dick no longer even reaches me. FML

agreeclassic 937

vote type 1 1 554

By FML - 02/02/2009 18:27 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

agreeclassic 59 854

vote type 1 10 205

Multitasking

By Anonymous - 09/04/2025 02:00

Spicy

Today, my wife picked up her phone, answered a text, added a few things to her phone's shopping list, and looked at her phone calendar to remind me I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow. She did all this whilst my penis was inside her, giving it my best effort as well. Self confidence zero. FML

agreeclassic 421

vote type 1 161

Humblebrag

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 06:00

Spicy

Today, I learned that my insecurities regarding my dick size were unfounded, as my girlfriend gushed over my dick and said it was amazing. We then got down to business, and almost immediately heard, "Ow! Fuck, that's my cervix! This hurts! Stop!" FML

agreeclassic 700

vote type 1 1 270

By Anonymous - 27/04/2011 16:21 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend kindly let me know that she didn't care that I am 'below average' in the penis department because it will leave her nice and tight for her next boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 72 787

vote type 1 8 018

By littleguy - 20/08/2009 15:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, an extremely attractive woman from FedEx came to deliver my new phone. I was wearing athletic shorts and had an erection. She looked down and laughed. FML

agreeclassic 42 823

vote type 1 19 270

Let down

By Anonymous - 26/01/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I went on a date with a sweet guy who was 6”11 tall, a size 14 shoe, a 55 inch chest from all his gym muscles, hands like baseball gloves, and gorgeous green eyes… all attached to a 3 inch penis that I could barely feel, and that lasted barely 15 seconds. The foreplay was shit too. FML

agreeclassic 352

vote type 1 526

By Anonymous - 26/04/2015 07:09 - Australia - Burwood

Spicy

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend having phone sex less than 10 feet away from me. FML

agreeclassic 36 013

vote type 1 2 969

Next

TOP COMMENTS

Alliria 3

Tuesday 12 April 2011 11:57

Am I the only person that feels worse for the guy then the OP?

bgo7 0

Tuesday 12 April 2011 11:48

if its true love than it shouldnt matter if his erection ia 3.5 or 10 in!! haha

Comments

crazycrackah101 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:36

damnnnn :O

canman411 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:37

is he like 11 or something

karmennn 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:42

aww. everyone needs love. even 'smaller' guys!

paolo131 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:44

ahhhhahahaha I'm sorry but I cried when I saw this ahahahahaha

ckrsok41 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:45

im only 13 and mine is 5 in

johnnie254 7

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:52

you deserve better

jorankay411 6

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:52

If he is the "LOVE OF YOUR LIFE" Then size shouldn't matter... as long as the sex is good right??? Is it??? Well it's gotta be if he is "THE LOVE IF YOUR LIFE"... Right???

canman411 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:52

I wonder wat happend to him in high school

imcutefml 0

Wednesday 13 April 2011 5:55

penis pump?

GeneralMotors 23

Wednesday 13 April 2011 6:20

no. your love of you life's penis is that.

27
28
29
30
31
32
33
34
35
36

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, I was telling my younger brother and sister how important it is to know how to use a knife properly, all while slicing potatoes. Just as I was saying how stupid people can be with knives, the potato slipped on the counter. I sliced open my hand while talking about knife safety. FML

agreeclassic 22 993

vote type 1 58 504

Today, I woke up to the faint memory of being drunk enough to draw dicks on my own face in permanent marker. FML

agreeclassic 7 112

vote type 1 33 504

Today, my mother-in-law gave me a bottle of champagne for my birthday. This is the third year in a row she has done this. I'm a recovering alcoholic, and she's well aware of that fact. FML

agreeclassic 42 672

vote type 1 3 179

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

agreeclassic 86 447

vote type 1 10 176

Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML

agreeclassic 43 436

vote type 1 13 440

Today, my grandparents told me they couldn't make it to my college graduation, even with months in advance to plan, because they had their annual Mother's Day plans with friends. Plans they've had every year, and are further away. This was the only time I'll ever have a graduation ceremony. My grandpa is my last biological grandparent. FML

agreeclassic 972

vote type 1 168