Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML
Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML
Today, I was talking to my parents when all of a sudden my dad started freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is that he was dead serious the whole time. FML
Today, I was watching my 2-year-old sister in the bathtub. As she was splashing, she stopped, and pointed at the "owie" on my head. I told her it was okay, and that it was just a pimple. She said, "Wow, you have a lot of pimples!" FML
Today, for some reason, my amazing dad told me to slide down towards a pole on a car tire while tobogganing down a hill and I hit the tire, consequently getting hurt in the head. I love my dad but something must've gone wrong that day. FML
Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML
Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML
Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML
Today, my mom tagged me in a picture on Facebook. It's a very zoomed in picture of a zit that had just recently erupted on my face. The caption is "My baby's biggest zit yet!" FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FMLandurstoo 9
I like to squeeze things!
DocBastard 40
You are suggesting she does this to her father? You are a disturbed individual. No seriously, get help. Now.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (115)
flockz 20
quit being a pus and stand up to him.
ZDK5498 6
it's just a nickname. if he calls you that when it's just you two I SEE NO PROBLEM. but if he does it in front of friends that is still not bad.. nicknames are cool (if they are not offensive)
eatsleepjb 8
I would consider pimple offensive...
ZDK5498 6
only because of the color of the hat and jacket. not because of that person actually having real pimples...
eatsleepjb 8
Yeah but I still wouldn't like someone calling me pimple.
geon_olam 17
what would he call you if the colors were the other way around?
live2swim 5
Oh my gosh really guys u r the third person to post tht same thing
geon_olam 17
Dear 88, just cuz its higher up on the page doesnt mean it came first. people take advantage and post things as a "reply" to the first comment just to be seen first. Yours faithlessly, hagGaon
xSonic 9
No no, UP the butt
LaColombianita 26
Lol that's actually kinda funny.
KiddNYC1O 22
Haha, in your face.
bekaashley 17
Haha that is pretty funny!
Loosrb0y27 4
don't worry babe... i'll treat you juust right
ohmandapants 17
Excuse you?
CryMoreFMLs 15
He's a loser, 82... Just move on... Keep trawling the sea of imbeciles.
evilplatypus 39
There are worse reasons he could call you that. I think it's kind if funny.
AyeTee77 18
.