Today, I'm on a medication that really dehydrates my skin. I thought split lips were the worst side effects. Other split orifices make a trip to the toilet a literal pain in the arse. No sign of stopping in the near future. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I have chronic dry mouth due to medication. It makes my breath smell atrocious, so I got some Biotene dry mouth lozenges. I usually have constipation issues. Lately it's been the opposite. So I can either have porta-potty breath or be on the brink of shitting myself. FML
Today, someone held me down and rubbed ChapStick all over my lips. I have a condition which requires medicinal balm, otherwise my lips crack and bleed, and ChapStick makes it worse. I’m still waiting on the balm to arrive. FML
Today, I discovered that of the three medicines I now have to take, all three of them have acne as a side effect. When acne is a side effect, I am 100% guaranteed to get it. FML
Today, I went on a new medicine. One of the listed side-effects was "anal seepage" and I spent the better part of the day laughing with my coworkers about how it's "not a real side-effect". I found out that it really is while stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic on the way home. FML
Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML
Today, I discovered that just because I got my braces removed does not mean my painful mouth ulcers will stop. I now have them under my tongue. I can't even lick my lips. FML
Today, I have what is probably a cold sore on my upper lip. I also have a mustache, which keeps rubbing against it. Because of this, no matter what I do, it stings. The next few days are fixing to be very, very long and miserable. FML
Today, I woke up bleeding from every orifice in my body. I've got a nose bleed from my medication, my gums bled when I brushed my teeth, I'm on my period, and I have hemorrhoids. FML
Today, I came down with painful sores in my mouth, just after having gotten over a cold. Apparently I'm allergic to the cough drops I've been eating for the past week to make myself feel better. FML
Today, I realized that acne is a major side effect of a medication I'm taking. The medication is to help me with my anxiety. The acne is creating more anxiety. And the more anxious I get, the more meds I need. And the more my face breaks out. FML
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Top comments
moop256 10
Not even a joke try some Vaseline.
upyourzlolz 11
I guess you need that $90 moisturizer.
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Comments (160)
KeyboardWarrior 10
Lol
Alwayspullout 7
It wouldn't be funny if it was your arse.
coolcaarlos 3
Well that is pretty funny.
pie29302930 0
Go Nucks go! Girls don't have peepees?
mommabear0823 12
54- seriously? Shut up. How is your comment even related
AnonymousTroll 2
Take some laxatives. Liquid poop goes a long way in helping a dry butt!
amyjadee 0
Why are you laughing??? Karmas goning to get you, then you will have it.
TwitchingNebula 17
72, generally speaking, when you get something you have it. And it's spelled "going."
beepelati 5
I did the same thing, it's acne medication and it really ******* hurts! Vaselineee
KeyboardWarrior 10
I'm sorry. I meant to capitalize on that but my iPod died right as I was about to edit. Although it sounds extremely painful (which I'm sorry about by the way) something about it made me chuckle on the inside. I'm sorry if I offend anybody, and OP look into Vaseline. I hear it works wonders.
LedZeppelin1109 0
So you essentially commented as quickly as possible just so you could get the first comment. Smart man.
KeyboardWarrior 10
First of all, I don't see why it matters to you. But if you must know, I was at first trying to see what would happen had I left it as simply lol, (comments and negative votes) and decided to change it a little too late.
123amanda123 14
sorry op that sucks
moop256 10
Not even a joke try some Vaseline.
uniongirl02 0
Same thoughts. I know how the split lips feel, but not the other places. :D goodluck OP
giggleprincess 0
Maybe even baby lotion. That stuff works magic
xXRockStarXx 3
Yeah, petrolium jelly/Vaseline is actually doctor recommended. Good luck with that!
beautyswan 1
Avene extremly rich cream for dehydrated and sensitive skin types, it should not hurt or react, good luck!
SokDek 14
This is what you use $90 moisturizer for.
lajaynay 15
Aquaphor! If you have it.. Its like a healing ointment similar to Vaseline, I use it on my tattoos and it works perfectly! Sorry about the splitting pains though. :/
marpay 11
Honesty I would try the baby rash cream. It can fix a harsh rash in a day on my daughter, so I'm pretty sure it could help.
platypus546 24
Been there. Vaseline is your friend and don't get pregnant, it causes birth defects.
mnmolino 14
Neosporn, its petroleum jelly and has a mild steroid to help speed up the healing process... Also, for your lip try the menthol lip glosses at bath and body works, when I was on a super drying drug, it was the only thing that worked for me :)
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I find vaseline is too sticky for me, and only temporarily moisturizes. I recommend some good old sunflower, safflower, or olive oil. I use safflower oil as a moisturizer, and honestly it works better than any commercial, chemical filled moisturizer. It's a bit more work to spread and work in if you're not you're slightly damp, but your skin will thank you. Also, if you start taking flaxseed oil or fish oil, it'll help your skin nourish and moisturize itself from the inside.
sr101998 0
Why not tell your doctor and ask for something not as dehydrating? I bet there has to be something.
tjv3 10
Try sitting in a tub of aveno or a tub of lotion
platypus546 24
116, if it's what I think it is, it's a last resort drug. Extreme acne stuff. I've taken it and it's awful.
bama61 0
If it's acutaine that stuff sucks. I feel your pain
KelpForBrains 0
I think I had this exact same medicine. same thing happened to me
babyfireball77 14
Yeah i bet its accutane, just constantly drink water and use vaseline and lots of moisturizers and creams and you'll be able to deal with it much easier :)
Icecream93 4
That must hurt,, Fyl O.O
Buttsexpirate 9
Damn :(
wanna_bee 8
Why are people thumbing this down? It's sincere. It must hurt. Some people are just idiots.
derpina72 23
Tell me about it!! Get yourself some witch hazel, OP!!
tomok 0
that's shit.
MikeDa1Da 14
So is your comment.
NOTquiteRAMBO 10
Loving OP's name, by the way.
babyd03 0
you know what's really shit? the fact that my dog just farted with his ass next to my face. better not get pink eye ******!
LedZeppelin1109 0
This must be santas new way of punishing people on the naughty list. Coal in the socks was getting old anyway. Merry Christmas!
Lanceeden 12
You must have a... Splitting headache. YEAAAAAAAH
Lanceeden 12
I'm sorry for that ...
mk58 31
You get brownie points for apologizing.
MagicallyFat 12
*Snape voice* For that terrible comment 10 points shall be taken away from hufflepuff
Lanceeden 12
Haha good cause I'm in Gryffindor
ifuckmonsters 5
God, no. That terrible comment shows that there's no possible way you're a Gryffindor. You must be one of those delusional 1st years on their way to the Sorting Hat.
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
This is actually pretty ironic because I legit just finished reading the 'philosophers stone' before reading this...
Lanceeden 12
Somebody starts reading a Harry potter book every 9 seconds. So it's not that odd. And Ron is in gryffindor and he's a bumbling idiot. So I can be.
wanna_bee 8
I must say- Gryffindor is the best. But if it was somehow magically possible to be in more than one house I would be in Slytherin as well.
akg98 13
What the hell is a HUFFLEPUFF?!?!?! I can't FIND out Lyk if YUR a starkid
monkeysareyummy 0
That must be a pain in the ass..
Yoyolol_fml 3
He was making a pun mate, don't think too hard about it.
uprising_fml 0
puns on this website are typically over done and not funny . hence the thumbs down .
shannonreneee 11
I certainly hope you don't get infected with gastro any time soon!
diidiimi 10
At least it'd be runny.
Feklfekl2222 32
I think that would hurt less
kirsty1551 3
merry christmas!!
SecsNoises 6
FYL, but you can still get topical treatments for that... Go see your pharmacist.