Today, I found out while skiing that my dad likes to call me Pimple because I have a pink coat and white helmet. He has tried to squeeze me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML
Today, my dad drove me to the airport. As I got out of the car, he said, "You better pop that zit on your face, security might think it's a bomb". FML
Today, I was talking to my parents when all of a sudden my dad started freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is that he was dead serious the whole time. FML
Today, I was watching my 2-year-old sister in the bathtub. As she was splashing, she stopped, and pointed at the "owie" on my head. I told her it was okay, and that it was just a pimple. She said, "Wow, you have a lot of pimples!" FML
Today, for some reason, my amazing dad told me to slide down towards a pole on a car tire while tobogganing down a hill and I hit the tire, consequently getting hurt in the head. I love my dad but something must've gone wrong that day. FML
Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML
Today, my dad stopped me mid-sentence and said he wanted to punch me in the face and set me on fire for using the word "selfie". FML
Today, a little girl pointed to the acne on my face and said to her dad, "Look at how many mosquito bites she has on her face!" FML
Today, my mom tagged me in a picture on Facebook. It's a very zoomed in picture of a zit that had just recently erupted on my face. The caption is "My baby's biggest zit yet!" FML
Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML
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Top comments
FMLandurstoo 9
I like to squeeze things!
DocBastard 40
You are suggesting she does this to her father? You are a disturbed individual. No seriously, get help. Now.
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Comments (115)
Gayrome 4
But uh...who says OP is a she...? xD
brick_man33 14
watch out for the acne cream.
jazzyv94 3
Ya that's true. It's just a joke! :)
Fountainel 0
I'll be looking for you at Louise or sunshine to squeeze
atomicmrpelly 2
Jesus Christ you poor ******* sole how ever do you cope?! There are children starving in Africa and you are upset because your dad came up with a mildly amusing nickname for you on your skiing holiday???
koolkat27 13
learn to lighten up a little! ydi
alexavh 0
LMAO
ladykd98 4
so take the hat off maybe.......
edoohan619 10
how is that an FML?
samc2222 0
Haha that's terrible.