Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation...

By JJMan217 - 29/3/2011 06:28 - Canada

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks

16142

You deserved it

76380

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Top comments

By beeship321 | 4

#2261591 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:57

wow that was a smart move. Do you brush your teeth with toilet cleaner?

By deputy_g | 5

#2261617 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:02

only time to do that is when you don't know where your penis has been..not for recreational use

Comments

By beeship321 | 4

#2261591 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:57

wow that was a smart move. Do you brush your teeth with toilet cleaner?

largefoofighter | 0

#2261626 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:03

least your dicks clean.... not from the hand sanitizer but all the sex you're not having!! dumbass

marinus_fml | 19

#2261679 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:12

lol #9, nice one.

sterlingarcher | 1

#2261829 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:50

hahahaha ydi!!

Awesomastic | 0

#2261917 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 18:12

hand sanitizer has more alchohol than most drinks so its safer to just dip it in your beer next time.

Scalabrine44 | 0

#2262406 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 20:48

hehe good one ;)

Somedood117 | 0

#2263272 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 0:13

I'm dying to know which hand sanitizer so I know for future reference ;)

jakedasnakeman | 0

#2263518 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 0:45

rofl

Awesomastic | 0

#2263544 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 0:50

65, substitute beer with vodka

kruzito | 0

#2264706 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 2:45

62, that's poisonous alcohol

MiGman | 5

#2265385 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 4:47

#62 it's a slightly different type of alchohol

fHISl | 0

#2267118 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 13:18

it's a fake... saw that in american pie..

TheVariableX | 0

#2271786 - Thursday 31 March 2011 9:32

Was it purell? that stuff burns like a sonuvabitch.

iateyourmuffin | 0

#2273102 - Thursday 31 March 2011 18:17

ya just a tad :P

PedoPancakes | 7

#3961362 - Sunday 29 January 2012 14:40

Well said #1

jbuckets_404 | 38

#6653348 - Tuesday 19 July 2016 18:20

LOL! Did you too have to wear a diaper for a week? ;-)

By KZN02 | 18

#2261596 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:58

I'd rather not know the reasons ...

JtownDude | 0

#2261848 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:55

chuck Norris masterbates with lava

loski87 | 4

#2261869 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 18:01

^ lol

Naomiiiii | 0

#2261907 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 18:10

Chuck Norris doesn't masturbate, he gets off by roundhouse kicking Siberian tigers in the face.

docscientist | 9

#2262453 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 21:01

Chuck Norris doesn't masturbate, he fucks the universe.

maa_rico | 4

#2262660 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 22:00

Sorry but Bruce Lee kicked Chuck Norry's ass.

maa_rico | 4

#2262694 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 22:05

Norris' * lol

bawpo | 2

#2262870 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 22:29

Perhaps in a movie Snookie. Not in real life.

rmbaker1993 | 0

#2265320 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 4:35

haha omg she does look like snooki!!!

crissy1234 | 0

#2265335 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 4:40

it is snooki!!!

MadPercussion | 0

#2265503 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 5:10

FUCK JERSEY SHORE. THAT SHIT IS PURE TRASH AND I AM VIRTUAL YELLING TO FURTHER EMPHASIZE IT'S MY FRUSTRATION.

devinmurnan | 0

#2265691 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 5:45

chuck Norris uses a blow torch and a monkey wrench to masturbate

grizzvolleyball9 | 4

#2265695 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 5:46

win ^^^^

LTHoratioCaine | 4

#2267165 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 13:35

but i cant do that so this pic of you will do

eragon2262 | 6

#4671474 - Tuesday 10 July 2012 10:12

Bruce Lee trained chuck Norris, and could beat chuck norris' ass until the day he died. that's a fact.

Link5794 | 16

#5099482 - Wednesday 31 October 2012 3:00

But what if Chuck Norris actually trained Bruce Lee, and was such an amazing teacher that he created a foe even he couldn't defeat?

By xoxoMEGANxoxo | 13

#2261598 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:58

haha

JtownDude | 0

#2261852 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:56

OMGWTFCARBBQ

xFuZioN | 0

#2266256 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 7:43

might as well jerk it with vodka ya yard. main ingredient alcohol

xFuZioN | 0

#2266274 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 7:45

tard* stupid auto correct

bananahannahjo | 0

#2267818 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 18:12

lol! I thought calling them a yard was funny :)

By smump | 0

#2261603 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 16:59

.....

JtownDude | 0

#2261856 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:58

dotdotdotdotdot

KaySL | 24

#2261901 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 18:08

Don't make fun of the siamese ellipsis.

brainsoverbeauty | 21

#2269858 - Thursday 31 March 2011 2:50

This was the only time I clicked the "you totally deserved it" button while simultaneously saying out loud that the person totally deserves it.

wise1 | 1

#2273371 - Thursday 31 March 2011 19:44

op does deserve it.

but am wondering that if only certain sanitizer causes that, which sanitizers has the op used in past without any problems?

By deputy_g | 5

#2261617 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:02

only time to do that is when you don't know where your penis has been..not for recreational use

JtownDude | 0

#2261864 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 18:00

Your grammar sucks.

ninjacapo | 2

#2262971 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 22:55

refering to bensyn? hahaha "unless u dont know where ur penis has been. in that case. purell it up"

deputy_g | 5

#2263562 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 0:53

51 I'm a nuclear engineer so stfu

and yep a bensyn reference

jmmille | 0

#2265442 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 4:59

176, He could be a nuclear engineer at 19 in the military.

ginger467 | 2

#2266319 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 7:58

he's 18 idiot. the fact that you cant count automatically makes your comments rubbish, Beaner.

jess6blondie9 | 2

#2269017 - Thursday 31 March 2011 0:18

What does you being a nuclear engineer have to do with anything??

insomniac8400 | 13

#5273969 - Sunday 23 December 2012 18:55

there's no such thing as a BA of science... it's called a BS a BA is a bachelor of the arts

By flockingshpoo | 0

#2261620 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:02

what is anti flood protection

No_LoveMM | 3

#2261706 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:15

Satan wanting your soul.

JtownDude | 0

#2261842 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:53

winning duh!

DieselBT | 0

#2261883 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 18:04

Anti-flood protection is what the adult diaper's for, duh.

DoubleEdgedBlade | 4

#2262023 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 18:49

Something that the Japanese didn't have.

I know, that was pretty bad.

nocarehere | 0

#2262035 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 18:53

^win. haha.

xoxoMEGANxoxo | 13

#2262348 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 20:37

lol #74 made me crack up....now I feel like a terrible person.

Aoifexzx | 3

#2262568 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 21:24

it always says anti flood protection to me when I post a comment for some reason ?

justalilrandom2 | 4

#2262956 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 22:48

It is when you post too much, it stops you "flooding" the comments section with spam, racism or inane bull shit.

rebekahah | 7

#2263501 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 0:43

#74 I laughed so hard that I think I'm going to go to hell now.

cheetahbud159 | 7

#2264529 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 2:16

... fantastc

Ronan_k | 0

#2265101 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 4:01

74 - Epic win Bro

scotty2hottie48 | 0

#2265573 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 5:22

74 had a Charlie Sheen moment! lol

cheerislove | 0

#2282457 - Saturday 2 April 2011 18:41

hahahahhahaha i laughed so hard at this comment.!(:

lotrgeek | 10

#4056623 - Sunday 19 February 2012 20:53

Muahahahhahaha excellent!

By symwashere | 0

#2261622 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:03

y would you use hand sanitizer to jack off??

tylerjs12 | 0

#2261732 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:18

i know right

Tcaret300 | 12

#2262428 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 20:54

if the Japanese do it, who gives two shits?

Funny? IDK STOP STARING AT ME!!! D:

By anorexicbarbie | 8

#2261624 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:03

What in the hell made you think, "this is a good idea"?

By notquite69 | 0

#2261636 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:06

Try bleach next time.

crissybear | 8

#2261660 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:10

ha ha ha GOOD ONE 

Alicia17C | 2

#2262536 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 21:18

Hahahaha he probably will

benjimm1 | 0

#2263158 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 23:39

michael Jackson did.
too soon? to effing bad

laxguy96 | 6

#2265051 - Wednesday 30 March 2011 3:54

anal bleaching!

By badkittykills69 | 0

#2261649 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 17:09

Seriously... Why??? Ydi

DarkHelmet | 10

#2262518 - Tuesday 29 March 2011 21:14

because they're a fucking moron!!!