Health: Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband...

By zombieguyswife - 28/06/2012 23:44 - United States - Branson

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 079

You deserved it 3 978

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 04/02/2010 08:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 784

You deserved it 7 811

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 19:02 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 556

You deserved it 2 621

Good to know

By DeadScared - 19/09/2011 00:23 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 005

You deserved it 3 562

By fat - 07/01/2014 12:41 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I mentioned to my boyfriend that I want to start working out and get rid of my holiday weight. His response? "Okay, just don't join a gym. People will have to see you there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 220

You deserved it 4 989

Cocobananas

By why... - 05/06/2012 17:21 - United States - East Orange

Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 028

You deserved it 3 536

Compromises

By DepressionBetty - 11/10/2021 08:00

Today, I realized I agreed to go to the gym with my fiancé after being on my feet at work all day because he wants to get fit, but he will not help me remodel the house I’m working on so we can have a bigger place to live, because he doesn’t feel like it. I don’t want or need to go to the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 049

You deserved it 299

By fatty - 23/09/2009 06:47 - United States

Today, my fitness trainer husband told me that if I could not make the commitment to stay thin, he could not make the commitment to stay with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 386

You deserved it 15 689

By drake86 - 09/01/2013 16:42 - United Kingdom - Helensburgh

Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 928

You deserved it 33 054

By Anonymous - 22/08/2015 09:44 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 413

You deserved it 4 650

By Anonymous - 30/11/2010 06:06 - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he wanted for Christmas. He then told me that he would only tell me if I promised not to get mad, so I agreed. He told me that he wants me to start working out because I'm getting fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 621

You deserved it 33 102

eddeeezzyy 19

Friday 29 June 2012 9:05

Well, if it does happen...contact me! I have loads of Ak-47s! Best damn assault rifle out there! :D

MagicGiraffe 12

Friday 29 June 2012 9:37

Let's all act like we know something about guns because we play COD!

Comments

fordman22 0

Friday 29 June 2012 14:28

Tell him you have a new workout outfit ;)

izzy7 11

Friday 29 June 2012 14:30

Whatever works! ;-)

OddFutureLove42 5

Friday 29 June 2012 14:34

I believe the correct term is " Zombie Apocalypse " .

richieflow 3

Friday 29 June 2012 15:28

That's awesome

dieselguy82 0

Friday 29 June 2012 15:47

Sweetheart if the puss isnt making him jump at your feet time to spice it up a little

little_one 20

Friday 29 June 2012 16:55

I'd work out too if there was a chance of a zombie apocolypse that ***** scary as **** and the slow person always dies

jayhawkchik 4

Friday 29 June 2012 18:28

Rule # 1) Cardio Rule # 2) double tap

wironandine 8

Friday 29 June 2012 19:04

Zombie stuff sure is getting old

kykupkake21 3

Friday 29 June 2012 19:10

I believe the correct term is zombie apocalypse. :)

eccentrix 12

Friday 29 June 2012 20:38

Not if we're all as prepared as this guy.

SimplyEerb 3

Friday 29 June 2012 19:17

It's scary how prepared our generation is for a zombie apocalypse. Ahah.

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The Top

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 683

You deserved it 7 123

Today, my best friend’s girlfriend took his phone and blocked me on Facebook, all because I wrote him a heartfelt Happy Birthday message on his wall. I found out because he messaged me from another account explaining what happened. She refuses to understand that we’re strictly platonic friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 425

You deserved it 135

The Top

Today, I found out the only reason my parents want me to live with them is because of the tax refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 939

You deserved it 3 014

Today, I sparkled because of this glitter bar my mother got me from Lush. I didn't realize until after I got out of the shower that it wasn't just ordinary soap. I tried to wipe off the glitter. It wouldn't come off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 630

You deserved it 276

Today, I slipped in my own vomit while dashing to the bathroom to puke. My knee hit and shattered the toilet; the toilet shattered my knee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 672

You deserved it 2 354

Today, I accepted that I've fallen in love with someone completely amazing… but they live over 3000 miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 185

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 831

You deserved it 17 104

Today, while sitting next to the cute guy in my English class, I had to sneeze. I turned away from him and sneezed into my arm. My long hair got in the way and I accidentally shot a huge snot rocket into my hair. I spent the rest of the class trying to get it out without him noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 396

You deserved it 4 959

Same thing different taste

Good to know

Cocobananas

Compromises

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