Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML
Today, I found out that the fat sweaty guy at my job frequently uses my rub-on deodorant and puts it back in my drawer after he's done. FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, when I went to work, my nice coworker gave me a gift basket. And cookies. I had to tell him that I caught his kid keying my car last night. FML
Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML
Today, after my coworker bought coffee for me for the fifth time, I thanked him and asked him why. Apparently it's the only way to get me to shut up in the morning so he can get work done. FML
Today, I found out that the man who came into work yesterday, the man who tried to grope me from over the counter, the one who spat his drink in my face, the one who kicked me in the shins when he didn't like the way his food tasted, is a regular and I can expect him three times a week. FML
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
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Top comments
vucui 21
Well, that's a dick move.
ItsAUnicorn 27
Was it a vanilla milkshake?
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Comments (183)
BrIEB1590 7
That's discussing, do the same thing to his wife!!
fatlemonjefferso 8
Why should his wife suffer through that even if he has one?
ijulez 14
you spelled "disgusting" wrong.....idk if you knew you did
Averagegamer 1
report him
CantTouch 9
He probably just thought you'd rather have a protein shake.
Anai08 17
Um, that is REALLY not okay. Besides it being disgusting, he could have given you all kinds of nasty infections (because he obviously makes it a habit of sticking his penis any old place). This is something that DEFINITELY needs to be reported to human resources, OP. This is a form of sexual harassment, and you should not have to deal with disgusting, inappropriate, immature sh*t like that at work.
Lesyriad 14
Not only is it harassment it is assault because as you pointed out he could have an infection. And everyone that knows about it are accessories to it. I say sue them all.
Dusty_Busters 15
Well said
Renlobo 8
You should bring in a treat for all of your co workers from the natural harvest cook book.
BlancSlate 10
that's horrible OP. But I have to know... how did you find out it was going on?
chloem103 9
What did you do to get dick smoothies and for your coworkers to think its funny?
luuluu5 8
Good luck with giving birth via your mouth. Thats hilarious. Why the **** would anyone want to put his dick inside a goddamn smoothie..
robd007 20
That's some F'd up stuff. Shame on your coworkers as well. I wish there was some way to make pay for the harassment and discomfort he caused you!
Angel_of_Night 10
That's just wrong.