Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML
Today, I found out that the fat sweaty guy at my job frequently uses my rub-on deodorant and puts it back in my drawer after he's done. FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, when I went to work, my nice coworker gave me a gift basket. And cookies. I had to tell him that I caught his kid keying my car last night. FML
Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML
Today, after my coworker bought coffee for me for the fifth time, I thanked him and asked him why. Apparently it's the only way to get me to shut up in the morning so he can get work done. FML
Today, I found out that the man who came into work yesterday, the man who tried to grope me from over the counter, the one who spat his drink in my face, the one who kicked me in the shins when he didn't like the way his food tasted, is a regular and I can expect him three times a week. FML
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
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Top comments
vucui 21
Well, that's a dick move.
ItsAUnicorn 27
Was it a vanilla milkshake?
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Comments (183)
gimmicksz 9
Yea funny til u get a bump on your lip...NO MORE SMOOTHIES!
LilFidget 4
That's an extremely huge offense. You can get him fired and a lot of the co-workers in to trouble for not reporting it. Huge Health Hazard.
hippyhopgirl 9
No wonder nice guys finish last.
oceandreamx 13
you poor thing ! what a freak ! :0
incoherentrmblr 22
Find any pubes in it?
thelittlepakeha 6
Legally, at the VERY least this is assault, worse if he turns out to have any kind of communicable disease (and worse again if he knows he does). They could probably also add a sexual assault charge because it's his penis. Contamination with bodily fluids is actually taken pretty seriously because they can be really ******* dangerous. Incidentally when I worked at a cafe that specialised in muffins, I brought muffins to the nice Subway staff all the time. Because they made good sandwiches and slipped me extra cookies. Sometimes regular customers do that sort of thing and anyone who thinks she clearly thought he wanted to sleep with her and was using him for his smoothies and stringing him along is seriously bitter about something. Normal people do nice things for each other without keeping a scorecard and waiting for the day they get enough points to trade in for sex.
Setareh23 34
Completely agree with you. It's sad that we live in a world where we have to be suspicious of kindness.
sodapop3 5
i am pretty sure that counts as sexual harassment. and your coworkers suck
PrincessOfEgypt 3
It's funny till he gets his dick stuck in a cup.
happyfingers 15
What. The. ****. Well, I did want a milkshake but ya know what? I'm good. Thatnks for that...
TheyCallMeDamien 18
His actions are criminal and it looks like their needs to be lawsuits all around. I say get a lawyer. That's beyond offensive.