By coffee - 07/03/2013 13:44 - United States

Today, after my coworker bought coffee for me for the fifth time, I thanked him and asked him why. Apparently it's the only way to get me to shut up in the morning so he can get work done. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 042
You deserved it 37 107

Same thing different taste

Top comments

At least he's honest. Now try shutting your mouth every now and again.

Maybe you should get the hint, stop whining and enjoy your warm cup of shut the **** up.


I thought coffee was meant to have the opposite effect...

At least you have coffee? He could've told you to shut-up in a way that didn't involve you getting free coffee.

I meant this to go somewhere else entirely. While I'm here though, I agree, coffee makes me jittery and talkative, I thought that's what it was supposed I do.

While it makes some talkative, they still have to shut up while drinking it. I know when I worked in an office, I would often come in in the morning and do the most work because of ideas I had floating in my head from the night before. Others would take an hour or so to settle in and go talk with everyone. If I needed to be left alone to write code I would put on my headphones. In my office, that was the universal sign that someone needed to be left alone to get something done.

^Valid point. Yes, coffee is usually used to wake people up and/or keep them going throughout the day. OP is probably quiet while drinking coffee. But the co-worker should have just told OP that work needs to be done and he doesn't have time to chit-chat.

At least he's honest. Now try shutting your mouth every now and again.

AnyaS 19

And stop getting free coffee? OP needs to talk more! :p

Tell him you will shut up for a latte and a muffin. If he wants to buy your silence he can do better than just coffee.

At least you got coffee? He could've told you that you talk too much in a way that doesn't involve free coffee.

Unbweavable 17

Maybe you should reevaluate yourself. Maybe your a loud mouth. Or a bitch

I see this as a win win for both parties. Free coffee for you, with a smile I'm sure and more productivity for the other. A good deed is done for the day!

Ps, as a return gift for him, write a thank you note, along with some ear plugs!

it's like a caffeinated pacifier! who's a good baby?? youuuu areeeee

I thought ninjas got most things for free

Maybe you should get the hint, stop whining and enjoy your warm cup of shut the **** up.

I'm on my coffee break, the boss didn't want to hear me make one more work related pun

Would you like one of my shutthefuckup-cakes? Theyre like regular cupcakes, but once you take a bit, they expand in your mouth and prevent any sound from getting through. It may prevent oxygen from getting through too...

Mr. Pleonasm what are the ingredients for the cup of shut the **** up?

You're just mad cause you choked on one. Wait, that didn't come out right.

I can officially be called a corpse until I have my coffee in the morning.

Do they keep you in the morgue, and then give you a caffeine drip at an alotted hour? You must really be feared around the hospital if they regulate your biological state.

Coffee usually has the opposite effect on me haha.

perdix 29

#13, I'm guessing you've had your coffee today? ;)