Today, I found out that the nice guy who comes to my workplace every morning to bring me a smoothie also makes a point of putting his knob in it before giving it to me. Also, all my coworkers knew about this and think it's hilarious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML
Today, I found out that the fat sweaty guy at my job frequently uses my rub-on deodorant and puts it back in my drawer after he's done. FML
Today, this really cute guy at work kept flirting with me and cracking the funniest jokes. Before he left, he told me how much he enjoyed making me smile. An hour later, I saw my reflection in a mirror, I had a huge piece of food stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, when I went to work, my nice coworker gave me a gift basket. And cookies. I had to tell him that I caught his kid keying my car last night. FML
Today, I found out that my husband thinks I'm fat when I caught him slipping diet pills into my morning smoothie. FML
Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with lunch at work. He surprised me too, when I caught him making out with one of his coworkers. FML
Today, after my coworker bought coffee for me for the fifth time, I thanked him and asked him why. Apparently it's the only way to get me to shut up in the morning so he can get work done. FML
Today, I found out that the man who came into work yesterday, the man who tried to grope me from over the counter, the one who spat his drink in my face, the one who kicked me in the shins when he didn't like the way his food tasted, is a regular and I can expect him three times a week. FML
Today, at work, the janitor would not stop telling me how good I looked. This was after he told me he was fired for sexual harassment at his last job. He clearly learned that lesson. FML
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Top comments
vucui 21
Well, that's a dick move.
ItsAUnicorn 27
Was it a vanilla milkshake?
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Comments (183)
JoshMohawk 11
Oh c'mon... You'd think it was funny if it was anyone else.
seriously_wtf22 2
That's why you don't accept drinks from strangers
japtap81 16
That's disgustingly hilarious. I'm sure you would have laughed if it was someone else.
jimmywithsalt 19
That is just UNsanitary! >.<
AngelLovesDerby 10
I guess don't accept things from randoms...
clarinet500 16
This guy is such a dick!
WhitneyAndGdrago 10
yuck!
TogeBara 12
Not only can you put him in jail, but by knowing about this and not telling you, each of your co-workers can be considered an accomplice and you can press charges against them. This will earn the creep a sex offender title of at least a level 1 and the coworkers will probably have to go to ethics courses. If you let this go or don't do SOMETHING, they will continue to do extremely nasty things to you in other ways. Do NOT give up on sending at least the creep to jail.
TogeBara 12
actually I looked this up because this is just nasty. Similar acts have gotten a lot of people in jail and labeled them as sex offenders. There are two laws that could get your coworkers fired. One is "failure to render aid." Now a good lawyer could easily spin that this disgusting individual could have had any number of diseases most of which could end up with very bad results. (Giving aids to someone without having informed them that you have aids is considered attempted murder in some places and is still a felony in others) The other thing that could get them is not telling you could be considered, "aiding and abetting a criminal activity." This makes them accomplices and would probably land each of them with sex offender titles too. So it would not be hard to sue the company, get the employees fired, or put them in jail. You seriously need to follow up on this.
liaRawr 9
Why accept a drink off a stranger without knowing what they have put in it
tianaxmarie 9
Littledipper