Love: Today, I found out that the man who offered to put up the woman...

By Just me - 09/09/2011 23:48 - United States

Today, I found out that the man who offered to put up the woman I love in exchange for me helping out with his rent, has in fact been her "other" boyfriend since before she moved in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 574

You deserved it 4 445

Love

Stop talking!

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Compromises

By BlueBirdWings - 06/03/2012 07:20 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 720

You deserved it 6 770

By gullible - 21/02/2010 02:38 - United States

Today, I travelled across an ocean to visit the guy I'm dating. He lied to me about his apartment; he lives in a dorm with a twin-sized bed and a bathroom he shares with 8 guys. Just now, after taking 3 trains from the airport to his "apt", he asked me to edit his essay while he goes to class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 910

You deserved it 8 557

By wetandpantsless - 04/10/2009 04:15 - United States

Today, I got invited to a big upperclassmen party that underclassmen don't normally get invited to. I was feeling really good when I got there and saw that the girl I'm in love with was there. They stole my pants and gave me a swirly. Her reaction was to post pictures on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 481

You deserved it 6 086

By Anonymous - 11/06/2011 22:36 - United States

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 203

You deserved it 7 294

By LifeSucks - 08/11/2009 04:46 - United States

Today, as I was driving to work, I got a flat tire. While attempting to replace said tire, I got mugged. The guy took all my money, my iPod, cellphone, and CDs. When I finally called my boss to explain my situation, he fired me. Why? Because I was late and had an "overactive imagination." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 965

You deserved it 2 486

By alexander - 08/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Longmont

Today, my girlfriend really needed to take a pee while we were fishing in my boat. Rather than go to shore, she decided to she could just go into a Snapple bottle. I watched as all her pee went straight onto the floor of my boat, soon realizing she had never even taken the bottle's cap off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 641

You deserved it 1 034

By yaa - 26/05/2009 22:35 - Canada

Today, on my way out of the subway station, I noticed an older woman standing at the bottom of a flight of stairs with a large cart. I went up to her and asked if she needed help getting it up the stairs. She looks me up and down and says, "No, not from you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 008

You deserved it 4 245

Bad date #3764

By Greenpuppy416 - 04/07/2020 05:02

Today, I had a date at a formal restaurant I'm well known at. My date showed up two and a half hours late with a jogging suit on, and then got mad at me for ordering, eating, and paying without him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 732

You deserved it 127

By Anonymous - 26/10/2011 14:14 - United States

Today, for my birthday, instead of a cake, my friends surprised me with a castle mainly made out of bacon. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I fucking hate bacon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 753

You deserved it 50 193

By Anonymous - 18/08/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my mom went to grab my sheets off my bed. I said that I would do it, to which she responded, "Calm down, it's not like I've never seen 'spludge' before." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 309

You deserved it 6 733

By Anonymous - 28/04/2012 22:44 - United States

Today, the imperial fist of spring allergies knocked me flat on my ass. The time I was going to spend at the outdoor concert I paid $80 for was instead spent in my car, driving back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 728

You deserved it 3 038

Seize the means

By Anonymous - 25/11/2020 18:02 - United States - Cody

Today, I found out I'm getting a pay cut, a week after I told my boss I need a raise or second job just to afford bills. I made the company 10k last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 998

You deserved it 79

By 4themoneh - 05/04/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, I arrived twenty minutes early for my opening shift at work, so I decided to turn on the radio and wait in my nice warm car. I woke up two hours later with twelve missed calls from my boss and a dead car battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 447

You deserved it 38 323

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 969

You deserved it 59 140

By sucks2suck - 19/02/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I told my parents I really missed them and wanted to come home for the weekend, I haven't seen them in months. They told me that was a bad idea and they couldnt fit me into their schedule. I asked what their plans were. They said they didn't have any yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 158

You deserved it 2 674

By John - 30/06/2011 08:18 - United States

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 298

You deserved it 3 593

Public speaking is terrifying

By Anonymous - 16/11/2020 08:08

Today, in an attempt to face my phobia of public speaking, I accepted an offer to read to a group of elementary school students. It went well, until I reached a rather funny part in the book and completely lost my composure with uncontrollable laughter. I don't think I'll be asked to come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 752

You deserved it 120

By fuckstudentloans - 18/06/2015 23:29 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I ruined a $1,500 laptop with a 69¢ bowl of ramen noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 256

You deserved it 13 829

By jackjona - 16/12/2016 06:03 - United States - Sioux Falls

Today, I closed the store on my own for the first time. As I was locking the front door, the key broke. Now half the key is stuck and the door is still unlocked. I have to stay until we open in the morning and I'm not getting paid for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 928

You deserved it 1 049

By LifeLikeLemons - 14/11/2016 23:51 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I got rear-ended trying to move off the road because I heard a police siren. It was the radio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 417

You deserved it 2 455

By Noname - 30/01/2009 19:06 - United States

Today, I got a haircut and the first thing the lady asked was "so do you want to keep the mullet?". What mullet?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 479

You deserved it 4 998

By shit - 26/01/2014 18:20 - United States - South Holland

Today, my sister was taking forever in the bathroom, and I jokingly threatened to kick down the door. I rammed into it, and it actually bust almost off its hinges. My sister screamed and our parents came running. Now I'm grounded forever and our bathroom has no door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 078

You deserved it 46 655

By Noname - 11/03/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, while showering in my dorm, a hand reaches through the curtain and grabs my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized and he had sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 645

You deserved it 3 593

By Anonymous - 20/08/2012 16:31 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, at my job at the mall, our music malfunctioned and now will only play the same three songs over and over again. Our manager won't let us turn it off because "the customers won't notice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 339

You deserved it 1 721

By Anonymous - 22/02/2010 13:27 - Costa Rica

Today, I found out that my mom goes through my garbage. I'm 25 and don't live with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 262

You deserved it 1 995

By Anonymous - 27/10/2012 07:20 - United States

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 281

You deserved it 3 828

By look at the fucking universe, lady - 18/05/2013 18:44 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I spent hours debating with a lady who claimed she'd spent years "studying the big bang theory". Not only did she not know the scientific meaning of the word "theory", her killer argument was "If the big bang happened, where are the fossils?" I'm not sure whether or not I just got trolled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 693

You deserved it 5 196

By Porter_Robinson - 30/04/2013 08:50 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I sent a girl a friendly conversation starter on Facebook. She replied, "I know what you guys are like. Oh, and that invitation to a date in about 5 messages time? Not a chance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 359

You deserved it 9 163

By ugly - 11/06/2012 12:01 - Australia

Today, I was telling my best friend that I was feeling unattractive, and that I never get asked out. As she was trying to make me feel better, we were interrupted by a stranger trying to hit on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 362

You deserved it 3 568

By WhereforeArtThouJustice - 10/12/2014 21:49 - Portugal

Today, one of my classmates asked the teacher to postpone her presentation because she had to study and the teacher happily agreed. When I approached her, the teacher started yelling at me because postponing deadlines is irresponsible. I just wanted to make sure we didn't need to bring our book. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 909

You deserved it 2 273

By Catnip - 30/06/2016 23:42 - Germany - Michelstadt

Today, I sent my boyfriend a selfie where I used the Snapchat face-swap to put my best friend's face on mine. My boyfriend didn't notice and texted back, 'Wow, so beautiful!' FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 202

You deserved it 3 281

Pain in the ass

By Kaganate - 09/02/2010 00:32 - Canada

Today, I was sitting on the wooden edge of my coffee table watching my sister's boyfriend play Halo 2, when I leaned back to stretch and shattered the center pane of glass in the table. I now have a large gash in my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 556

You deserved it 25 592

By Anonymous - 20/03/2012 11:57 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 562

You deserved it 2 827

By last night king - 28/05/2019 18:09

Today, I went to work completely hung over. I was at my desk for 5 minutes before security threw me out on my ass. Apparently, I’m hung over because I got fired yesterday and got blackout drunk, completely forgetting that I had been fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 2 837

By lostlove - 01/10/2011 02:57 - United States

Today, I was trying to find my first message on Facebook. When I was reaching the bottom, I saw a message from my old crush. It contained a paragraph confessing her love for me and asking me to write back. Don't know how I missed that one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 055

You deserved it 7 769

By but i make different stiffies - 05/01/2013 00:33 - United States - Parker

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 019

You deserved it 2 697

By Anonymous - 01/10/2012 00:49 - Australia - Sandringham

Today, a man with a clipboard came up to me in the street to ask me if I was happy with my life insurance. I couldn't bring myself to admit to him that I'm so clueless about my own life that I wasn't sure I was even happy with the Twix I was eating at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 620

You deserved it 3 725

By penguinsfan - 16/05/2009 14:47 - Canada

Today, I had to pee badly. I went into a stall and sat down. Only until after I'd peed, I realized that I didn't have any toilet paper. I waddled to the next stall with my pants down to get more toilet paper, believing that the bathroom was empty. It wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 085

You deserved it 53 703

By Anonymous - 22/10/2012 00:29 - United States - Bellingham

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 543

You deserved it 58 946

By innocent cat lady - 07/07/2015 18:19 - United States

Today, my boyfriend freaked out at me because he found a couple of orange hairs in my bed and he knows my ex is a redhead. He also knows I have two orange cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 133

You deserved it 2 451

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Top comments

stephan18 23

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Saturday 10 September 2011 7:28

Fyl but I don't really get your situation ...?

the_easter_bunny 1

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Saturday 10 September 2011 8:36

"put up" means give a place to stay. I think he means that he was paying for his girlfriend to live with the guy she was cheating on him with.

RuffianLivesOn 8

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Saturday 10 September 2011 7:28

That sucks :(

Shaniaaa20 0

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Saturday 10 September 2011 7:31

agreed. :/

Keyman1212 14

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Saturday 10 September 2011 7:45

Fuck 'em both, OP. Two timers are the worst in my book.

fatgirllovesfml 0

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Saturday 10 September 2011 7:55

She looks like a hoe to me.

lmfao_shame 9

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Saturday 10 September 2011 9:40

I voted for this FML not to be posted it's too depressing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FML

siege10 0

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Saturday 10 September 2011 15:47

Your right #11 having sex with both of them would solve everyones' problems.

FarSide 22

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Saturday 10 September 2011 20:12

Well color you "Duh".

Neorecon19 18

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Sunday 11 September 2011 17:22

That probably what that women OP was interested in has been doing. Sucking.

stephan18 23

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Saturday 10 September 2011 7:28

Fyl but I don't really get your situation ...?

tanneriscool 2

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Saturday 10 September 2011 8:22

I'm soo confused.. Help me I'm dumb I guess.

pinkpolarbear 8

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Saturday 10 September 2011 8:26

Haha i am too, i read it and im like " wait what?"

bhangu023 0

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Saturday 10 September 2011 8:27

I think this is what he meant - Today, I found out that the mean who offered "to put up with" the women I love in exchange for me helping him with his rent was also dating my Gf before she even moved in! Fyl indeed

bhangu023 0

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Saturday 10 September 2011 8:29

Man* auto corrected

the_easter_bunny 1

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Saturday 10 September 2011 8:36

"put up" means give a place to stay. I think he means that he was paying for his girlfriend to live with the guy she was cheating on him with.

StormfrontX33_fml 24

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Saturday 10 September 2011 10:43

And that's why you don't let your girlfriend move in with any man outside of her family.

addie19 6

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Saturday 10 September 2011 10:52

Why can't she live with him is what is confusing to me.

mynameis1339 0

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Saturday 10 September 2011 11:10

I think that since op is helping that person pay rent, that person is helping op get a women? Some sort of I'll pay you with my girlfriend but already has a mate??

damo0se7205 0

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Saturday 10 September 2011 19:36

I thought he wanted to get with the other guys gf so he payed for his rent to get with her. Wdf!?!?!? This guy just needs to die

MizzErikaHart 8

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Sunday 11 September 2011 1:17

I'm glad I'm not the only one that read this fml like 3 times...

frozenshake 5

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Sunday 11 September 2011 19:14

I think it means that, the other guy offered to take in his gf in his apartment, as long as OP helped pay the rent. But it turned out the other guy and OP's gf were dating even before the she moved in. I read it about 5 times before I kind of got it...

madaoxsan 9

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Monday 26 September 2011 20:41

weird...I got it automatically. horrible story though. OP is a totally nice guy ...and she dicked him like, whoa. I don't get it.

THE_A_TEEN 27

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Saturday 10 September 2011 7:29

Well that suck's

ShroomsOnAcid 16

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Saturday 10 September 2011 8:09

........Well? What is that suck?

mr_smiley227 0

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Saturday 10 September 2011 7:29

She was just "practicing" for the OP nothing wrong with that

charlieohcharlie 12

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Saturday 10 September 2011 9:14

Then you should like it when your partner "practices" for you with several men/women while you have no idea!

PoeSlayer 0

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Saturday 10 September 2011 18:10

#4 just wait till you get to into your teens and understand these things

captainfalcon7 0

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Saturday 10 September 2011 7:30

she's not worth it if she's gonna make you do that.

Sunako_fml 9

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Saturday 10 September 2011 7:31

You deserve better. She's not worth your time.

nick347b 6

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Saturday 10 September 2011 7:31

Dump her.

CaitieKates 0

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Saturday 10 September 2011 19:17

as if he already didn't... I would have by now

zacharytk72 5

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Saturday 10 September 2011 7:36

Find your love and earn it, don't exchange it.

enopola 5

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Saturday 10 September 2011 15:31

What does that even mean?

nerderific 3

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Saturday 10 September 2011 7:38

That sucks, FYL for sure. But in all seriousness - did you really not suspect something when he offered to "put her up"? Come on.

guitgod1 11

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Monday 12 September 2011 18:39

exactly, OP is either really naive or really dumb.

madaoxsan 9

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Monday 26 September 2011 20:44

Or OP just isn't thinking everyone is out to f*ck him (and his girl) over (and period). it's a rare thing nowadays...that trust is pretty valuable, you'll come to find out when you grow up. if you ever do. I just hope he doesn't become a jaded, narcisstic arsehole because of this and just learns to be cautious. We have enough of those out there.