giggedy

Me she has a open relationship too

There is no technicality involved. it is just cheating in this case.

Yeah, I'm all for people having polyamorous or open relationships Id they want them, but EVERYONE has to be informed and in agreement in it.

Agreed. If one person isn't informed and consenting, it's cheating. Plain and simple.

To OP's boyfriend: "Twinkle twinkle little *****, close your legs they're not a door"

#14 that was... Inspirational *sheds tear*

Open relationship mostly means he t And the wife are polyamorous this does not mean they have low standards, a lot of people are not cut out for monogamy

If you can't be monogamous, you shouldn't be married.

^that's a dumb statement. I dated a married guy. He and his husband are extremely over the top in love. They've been together for 15 years and he made it clear to me what our "relationship" would be. They like to have a little fun outside of their relationship and bring people into it every once in a while. I know a few other couples who have similar relationships. Monogamy isn't for everyone and monogamy doesn't always define a marriage.

I guess marriage vows don't mean anything to most people anymore.

Oh shut up, #38. You're monogamous, yay! So am I. Doesn't mean everyone else is. Doesn't mean their marriage vows mean anything less to those people. Get off your high holy horse and stop judging people you don't know.

@39 I think she meant how the vows say 'forsaking all other even as long as you both shall live' part. In which case that part of the vows meant nothing, if you have multiple people in your relationship.

I forgot I was on fml where you can't respectfully disagree with someone and state your opinion. 39,please point out in my comments what was so judgemental. To each their own, I just prefer to be #1 rather than a side piece.

Depends on your wedding vows. Pretty sure people don't all have the same vows, especially in different types of relationships or religions. If we get married, you won't see me or my girlfriend promising ourself to a 'husband' now will you?

47, you are being very judgmental, claiming that because two people married can agree to be in relationships with other people that their marriage or even each other doesn't mean anything to them? Even saying they SHOULDN'T marry? If you don't want a poly relationship, don't be in one. Keep your nose out of the air and out of those who choose to's business. It doesn't mean they value vows they made any less and certainly doesn't mean they value ANY of their partners less.

47 To be honest, people have only taken those vows seriously in the last 100-150 years. Married men have been going out whoring for centuries, and the number of wives that sailors had depended on the number of ports they visited regularly. The wives knew it, but they just put up with it. Open relationships have been apart of society for as long as society existed, it was just kept as a dark secret. The only reason people are making a big deal about it now in the last century is because they aren't so afraid of getting a divorce. 50 years ago, a divorced woman would have been a social pariah. Now it's common as well as the fact that a man's mistresses and flings can be proven. Sure there are a large number of couples who didn't do this, but I can't believe that over half did not do this.

From an anthropologic stand point humans aren't meant to be monogamous.

#38 we take our vows very seriously. we wrote our own, without the "forsaking all others"

Omg like so much.

But he did. He told his wife that he was seeing somebody else. OP was one of the someone elses.

Well people who are in open relationships don't really have relationships like this on the side but just have sexual relations with other people.

Op has to be aware too. Just because she wasn't his original partner or who he married doesn't mean he can't cheat on her.

I was wondering that same thing. Maybe OP should ask to meet the wife.

That was my first thought. Especially if he didn't tell OP

Yes! If it actually is a true, open marriage, the main couple discuss terms of what's acceptable. Usually it's a few flings per year- not multiple partners at once. I have a feeling that maybe the one who knew about the wife is the original "open" woman and the others are unapproved side flings. Only way to know is to ask the wife. FYL OP.

It sounds to me like she DID meet his wife and it was his wife telling the girl that they were in an open relationship.