Today, I noticed that my neighbor's house has a clear view of my daughter's bathroom. There is a telescope in his window. FML

Today, I found out that there is literally a giant hole in my son's bedroom because my son wanted to build a "secret entrance." FML

Today, I moved into my new house. I went over to my neighbors' house to introduce myself. As they opened the door I saw a telescope pointed at my house. FML

Today, me and my friend decided to spy on my crush. He lives across the street, so we climbed on the roof of my house and watched him with binoculars. He was working out, and after 5 minutes he started writing something. He put a piece of paper against the window and it said, 'Stop watching me.' FML

Somebody's watching

Today, my son told me he liked a girl, so I asked if they were friends. He said no, he's never spoken to her, but he watches her in class and follows her around. When I told him that was fucking creepy, my wife yelled at me. My kid is a stalker and my wife thinks it's cute. God help me. FML

Today, I found out that my son is not really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have girls in his bedroom. FML

Today, I found out that my son has been telling me he's gay so we would allow the "female friend" who is actually his girlfriend to stay over. FML

Today, I found out my son has been sneaking out of his room at night to see his girlfriend. He's a fully-grown 23-year-old man with a job and his own car. He doesn't need to sneak out. What an idiot. FML

Today, I heard my neighbors having a violent argument in their front yard. I listened in, and soon found out why the wife wasn't happy with her husband. Apparently, she had caught her husband peeking through my windows for the second time this month. FML

Today, I found a hidden camera in my room equipped with night vision and a microphone. My parents have been spying on me for at least the past year. FML