The Gap

Today, I learned that the gap between the elevator and the 6th floor landing of my apartment building is approximately one key's width wide. FML

Today, it wasn't until I heard something fly off the roof of my car and hit the trunk, then asphalt, that I remembered where I left my phone while unlocking the car door. FML

Precision strike

Today, I helped friends move home, and since we couldn't all fit in their car I took the bus. While waiting, my new phone slipped and crashed on the floor. It now has a cracked screen right between my two overpriced phone protectors. FML

Today, while trying to find my phone in the depths of the sheets on my bed, I gave my comforter a huge shake. A second later, I heard a crash. My phone had miraculously flown straight into the glass of water on my nightstand. Found it. FML

Today, my building's elevators were temporarily out of service. I climbed up 17 flights of stairs only to realize I left my keys downstairs. After the painful climb back up, the elevator lights came on. FML

Today, I was wearing a skirt, and running towards a closing elevator, making it just in time. As soon as I ran in, my pad fell out of my underwear and onto the floor. There were 6 other people in the elevator. I picked it up before I realized I had nowhere to put it, so I held it. For 18 floors. FML

Today, I found my iPhone. Too bad it was when I was getting my clothes out of the washer. FML

I'll call you!

Today, my smartphone fell out of my cargo shorts pocket onto the floor of my friend's car. I didn't even notice until he drove me home, where I noticed that the pocket was empty. FML

Today, I finally found my cellphone when I heard WHACKWHACKWHACK inside the washing machine. FML

Today, I was walking through my kitchen when I discovered a weak spot in the floor. Tomorrow, I'm going to have to fix the giant hole caused when I put my foot through it. FML