Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, while picking names for our unborn daughter, my mom decided to help by providing a list of names she absolutely won’t accept because they’re all women she hates for insane reasons. It has over 300 common names on it. Every time we pick another name, boom, there it is on her damn list. FML
Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML
Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad was having an affair on my mom with. FML
Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML
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Top comments
oj101 33
Maybe it's time to rehabilitate your relationship with your daughter? That's pretty disturbing, and wouldn't have had come thoughtlessly to her.
Dramori 29
Give birth to her.
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Comments (135)
nikkinurse 10
Are u sure this is a hit list??? If it is ten an fml post is the lease if your worries - look at the problems plaguing teenagers during columbine!???? This isn't a joke it may be a cry for help but you should listen and not be so concerned about how this affects your life but how it is in your child's life-
breathemein 10
Therapy. Catch it before its to late!
maddygirl820 10
Burn it
Meme1988 18
She NEEDS to see doctor ASAP!!
Twisted_Angel 17
Damn... you better get that kid to a shrink, and quick. she could be putting cyanide in your food or something. I don't care if people think that's normal, I never did that as a child. something is wrong. Seek help... and possibly a straight jacket.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Tell her you know a good hitman.
tayraaah 31
Harsh!
CreeperIRL 14
Who doesn't have a hit list
perdix 31
Yeah, but few are so stupid as to write it down. If you need to write someone's name down to remember to kill them, maybe they don't deserve to be killed by you.
doglover100 29
My hit list is in my head. No one needs to see it.
perdix 31
Call in a drone strike on your house, and go shopping while some video gamer in a bunker pre-emptively kills your enemy in self-defense. That's what you pay taxes for, right?
AH1Zviper 15
I do believe that this isn't a video game. Is it?
TheNewGuy03 29
I do believe he's joking.
Wheredidgrungego 12
Hopefully it's just harmless fun. If not, then she'll be seeing Mr. Therapist very soon.