Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while picking names for our unborn daughter, my mom decided to help by providing a list of names she absolutely won’t accept because they’re all women she hates for insane reasons. It has over 300 common names on it. Every time we pick another name, boom, there it is on her damn list. FML
Today, I found out my parents have a list of everything I have ever Googled. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad used to stalk when he was in high school. FML
Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML
Today, I found out my daughter has a higher paid job in the same company I work in. I also found out she is dating my boss. FML
Today, I found out I was named after the woman my dad was having an affair on my mom with. FML
Today, I realized my daughter has been in longer relationships than I have. FML
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. I didn't know I had a daughter. FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter called me by her mom's new boyfriend's name. Three different times. FML
Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML
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Top comments
oj101 33
Maybe it's time to rehabilitate your relationship with your daughter? That's pretty disturbing, and wouldn't have had come thoughtlessly to her.
Dramori 29
Give birth to her.
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Comments (135)
jgriff79 23
Little biatch sounds crazy!
manaallovesfmls 19
Awks....
Epikouros 32
A little parent-daughter bonding time is better than therapy. But don't take her hunting.
greeneyebeauty9 28
what she needs is a good talking to.
BubbleGrunge 18
Im gonna go out on a limb and say not to worry too much about it OP. Kids do weird shit, but if it makes you feel better i suggest putting the fear of OP in her. "You know, honey, mommy once gutted a guy for looking at me the wrong way."
mosquito19 14
a hit list as in " I'll hit that "?
nissan31 2
Check her in
littlem91 29
If she's a teenager, I think her hating you is normal. Otherwise... buy a bulletproof vest. Just a thought.
awebb21 7
At first I thought it meant like a music hit list and I was thinking that's not bad then I read it again and now I see why this is an FML
Blurry_1 0
Grounded!