Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, I finally lost some weight. Unfortunately, that's only because I had a testicle removed due to cancer. FML
Today, on top of learning that I have three discs pressing on my spinal column and a labral tear, I also found out my left testicle dropped, but not my right one. I'm nearly 40 and I need to see a urologist over this. After the surgeries to fix my spine and hip. FML
Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML
Today, after my brother punched me in the balls a few weeks ago, and while I was clutching myself in pain I actually felt a hard lump on the right testicle, I got the results: it’s cancer but survivable if they remove the testicle. I had to thank my brother for saving me by punching me in the balls. FML
Today, my doctor informed me that the pea-sized bump under my arm is a "third breast." That's not what I meant every time I said I wanted more tits. FML
Today, I went to the doctor's because I could feel something solid in my breasts, and I wanted to get it checked, just to be safe. Turns out it was my ribs. Oops. FML
Today, I found out I have to have an operation. This will be the third in 3 years, all for completely unrelated reasons. I'm only 26 and apparently my body is already falling apart at the seams. FML
Today, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, enduring months of tortuous chemo, having painful radiation treatments and having had my tubes tied, I realized I’ve become the butt of an incredibly cruel cosmic joke. I got pregnant from the one-night stand I had to celebrate beating cancer. FML
Today, I was told I'll need a hysterectomy. I'm barely 22. My doctor said "You probably wanted kids, huh? That's gonna be rough!" FML
Today, I awoke with a swollen, painful testicle. I called the ambulance and went to the hospital. After they'd done an ultrasound, it's a bad infection. My nurse was someone I used to know and had a major crush on. She's responsible for checking my testicle every 20 minutes when she checks my heart rate. FML
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Top comments
IntoTheClouds 42
Sorry to hear about your cancer, OP. Best wishes.
josebeto1 6
****** up bro, hope you don't lose it
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Comments (289)
BubbleGrunge84 7
Sorry dude, cancer sucks!
BubbleGrunge84 7
Sorry dude, cancer sucks!
SquashedSpider7 0
Think of the bright side, NO MORE CONDOMS!!!
TheEpicPies 15
Feel better!
GlitterAngel 8
This really was funny but on a serious note completely sucks. Sorry 2 hear & all the best man.
PedoPancakes 7
Ahh doctor humor . I hope your alright! Sorry bout cancer :(
VivaLaColdplay 27
I hope you're okay. :)
thedeerhunter88 3
My uncle had it last year but he still makes jokes about it
gothiccandy 9
Cancer sucks. Hope everything turned out okay! And that you went to a doctor who is aware that men and women have the same number of ribs. Mostly every one (unless yo were born with more or less as a "deformity") have 12. 7 true ribs that are attached to the sternum and 5 'floating with are connected to the 7 true ribs.
MrPortalFan 21
Hopefully you've already banked your sperm and if you didnt, hopefully you can still do so with one ball.