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That was a train wreck from start to finish.
This made me laugh uncontrollably for about 5 min straight ?
I forgot you couldn't put emojis here .. And now the question mark won't go away .. Lol
Well, I think the question mark makes your comment better. It makes it seem like "I laughed for 5 minutes straight..... or did I?" and then you cue dramatic music. DUN DUN DUN!
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Show it anywayOP's life sounds like a French farce.
Well, that would make for an interesting reality show.
I know right? I bet MTV's already after OP for copyright
It would be called, "My gay husband is cheating on me with a guy named Ashley!"
Never knew Ashley was a boy's name
Ash Ketchum ?
^ Yeah because Ash's full name was Ashley or what...?
It was actually a guy's name first. The first couple women to be named Ashley probably got this same reaction- "I didn't know Ashley could be a girl's name!"
Addison, Alexis, Allison, Aubrey, Avery, Bailey, Beverly, Blair, Brook, Cassidy, Dana, Darcy, Harper, Hilary, Kelley, Kelsey, Lesley, Lindsay, Lynn, Madison, Mckenzie, Meredith, Michele, Sandy, Shannon, Shelby, Skylar, Stacy, Sydney and Whitney, and more, all also began as masculine names. Just food for thought
It is more common as a boys name where I live. Sometimes a different spelling is used for the girls name but it doesn't have to be ('Ashleigh').
34, Alexis is actually still used as a boy's name in French. First time I saw a female Alexis I was confused and then I learned hahaha
My uncle's brother's name is Ashley.
Unless it's his/her blood aunt and her husband is the other uncle
Yeah I was confused for half the book the first time I read Gone With the Wind.
I was going to say, someone's never seen/read Gone With the Wind. Wait till you see/read Little Women, Jo is actually the girl, and Laurie is the boy. :)
You know jo is the girl at the beginning of the book......
It seems to be common in the US that masculine and feminine names tend to be swapped. I'm Scottish, and my name (Jamie) is really common here. It's a guys name, although it's mainly feminine in the US.
When I was a kid I knew a guy named Ashley.
@31 You called?
@66, yes, it was in Little Women, and was commonly used as a knick name years ago. Same as Ashley being a girl's name was unheard of 70 years ago.
yeah, that name is kind of gone with the wind now...
and Tracy I used to do mail room and one of the partners was a guy named Tracy. The mail always said Ms Tracy.
Nowadays with names it seems more people are doing whatever the heck they want. I write a bit and tend to go against that sort of swap mentality here in America. One of my favorite names for a guy is Piper, actually.
Ashley Purdy
Thanks, Joey Tribbiani.
that's enough drama for one lifetime
I feel like no one really won in this story... Sorry about your fiancé OP! :(
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Show it anywayWere you under the impression that people think gays are incapable of infidelity? As with most stereotypes, the ones pertaining to homosexuality range from negative to absurd.
Oddly enough in my psych class my professor said that, statistically speaking, male male gay relationships experience the most infedelity. Lesbian relationships have the least. That's not to say that gay people do or don't cheat, they're just as capable and I'm pretty sure that situations like this are well off the radar for anything that's been analyzed or that's typical.
I know a lot of gay people, to be honest, they cheat a hell of a lot more than anyone I've ever met.
as a gay man I can def say that we do.
I think this could use a follow up?
I'm still processing all this information.
same
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Show it anywayHe got engaged to the OP under the pretense that he wasn't already married—he used the OP to cheat on his wife! Sexuality is irrelevant; this person betrayed two people.
I kinda get what you're saying, but...really? OP should just be happy? Would you say "no matter if he's married, if he's 100% not attracted to his wife but attracted to YOU and loves you, just be happy" to a woman who found out her fiancé already had a wife? If he left his wife, that'd be one thing. But the fiancé is a LIAR. He has been living a complete double life, probably for quite a while now (meaning he's had lots of time to let OP in on it), and was probably sleeping with the wife too. Personally, I'd still be upset if my SO told me "oh, the sex meant nothing though, I'm not attracted to her and it was just a cover story so it doesn't count as cheating," especially if he waited till AFTER I found out myself to tell me anything! I mean, I could understand the twisted reasoning behind hiding it from his wife (even if I still think it's wrong), but I really can't think of a good reason why he would hide it from OP once he became serious about the relationship. The fiancé should've told OP he was married from the start, and divorced his wife instead of cheating on her.
A lot of gay people marry straight, because they feel it's easier to pretend to be straight. It eventually comes out, sadly usually after years of marriage and children. This may be far more complicated than just cheating. The wife could have been lied to from day 1 and used as a cover. Depending on the age and where the man was from coming out may not have been anything like what it is today. Not saying he was right, just saying there's probably more going on. It's could be very complicated and all too common.
#29 Like I said, I could understand the reason behind him not telling his wife. I still think it's inexcusable (since he doesn't live in a country where homosexuals are regularly killed), but I understand that he would most likely face societal rejection and loss of respect. Personally I still don't like it (because "being afraid of rejection" is no excuse for cheating imo, and he is basically temporarily sparing himself by harming and betraying his wife instead), but it is what it is. However he didn't even tell OP!!! The one he is secretly seeing! He has no "excuse" for proposing to him before letting him know he's already married! If he wanted to date OP secretly for a while to affirm his decisions, he should have made sure OP agreed to it, not asked him to MARRY him without even letting him know! No, the fiancé is just a complete all-around asshole. He is cheating on and betraying two people at the same time.
As a gay man myself, I completely agree with #32. He wasn't just lying to his wife, but to his boyfriend/fiancee/the OP, too. That being said, even though I don't know anyone involved in the situation, I hope he does eventually earn their forgiveness though. It'll be hard, but possible.
Everything could be complicated. Maybe he wanted to reveal his marriage later to his partner but was afraid that the fact he was "lying" all the way could end the relationship that became so valuable for him. I have a high faith for people so that's how I thought things were. Of course, if he did it on purpose and was having sex / relationship / etc with both his wife and his new partner he is a total dick and couldn't be forgiven. But yet again when I've read this FML I didn't think of the situation the way most commenters here are.
#64, physical intimacy does not always equal a relationship. To some people, even emotionally swaying (as in becoming ENGAGED to someone ELSE) is actually considered cheating as well, whether they've been physical or not. There's not much faith to be had for this man considering he not only cheated on his wife, but wronged poor OP as well. Two people have had their hearts broken over this foolish man and his very, very foolish decisions.
If this was a reality show, I'd watch the hell out of it.
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That was a train wreck from start to finish.
Well, that would make for an interesting reality show.