By Anonymous - 20/11/2015 14:43 - United States - Tyler

Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML
I agree, your life sucks 30 096
You deserved it 2 782

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That was a train wreck from start to finish.

Well, that would make for an interesting reality show.

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That was a train wreck from start to finish.

This made me laugh uncontrollably for about 5 min straight ?

I forgot you couldn't put emojis here .. And now the question mark won't go away .. Lol

Well, I think the question mark makes your comment better. It makes it seem like "I laughed for 5 minutes straight..... or did I?" and then you cue dramatic music. DUN DUN DUN!

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OP's life sounds like a French farce.

Well, that would make for an interesting reality show.

I know right? I bet MTV's already after OP for copyright

Jer-ry, Jer-ry.....

It's called Cheaters's and its usually filmed in the DFW area.

It would be called, "My gay husband is cheating on me with a guy named Ashley!"

Never knew Ashley was a boy's name

Ash Ketchum ?

^ Yeah because Ash's full name was Ashley or what...?

It was actually a guy's name first. The first couple women to be named Ashley probably got this same reaction- "I didn't know Ashley could be a girl's name!"

Ashley Hamilton, son of George Hamilton.

Addison, Alexis, Allison, Aubrey, Avery, Bailey, Beverly, Blair, Brook, Cassidy, Dana, Darcy, Harper, Hilary, Kelley, Kelsey, Lesley, Lindsay, Lynn, Madison, Mckenzie, Meredith, Michele, Sandy, Shannon, Shelby, Skylar, Stacy, Sydney and Whitney, and more, all also began as masculine names. Just food for thought

Ashley from that one boy band from the 90's... not nsync or BSBs... 98 degress... idk I'll remember it later O-town!

It is more common as a boys name where I live. Sometimes a different spelling is used for the girls name but it doesn't have to be ('Ashleigh').

34, Alexis is actually still used as a boy's name in French. First time I saw a female Alexis I was confused and then I learned hahaha

My uncle's brother's name is Ashley.

Your uncle's brother? Wouldn't that be either your father or also your uncle?

Unless it's his/her blood aunt and her husband is the other uncle

Yeah I was confused for half the book the first time I read Gone With the Wind.

I was going to say, someone's never seen/read Gone With the Wind. Wait till you see/read Little Women, Jo is actually the girl, and Laurie is the boy. :)

You know jo is the girl at the beginning of the book......

leogachi 15

@59 Isn't Laurie short for Lawrence?

It seems to be common in the US that masculine and feminine names tend to be swapped. I'm Scottish, and my name (Jamie) is really common here. It's a guys name, although it's mainly feminine in the US.

When I was a kid I knew a guy named Ashley.

@31 You called?

@66, yes, it was in Little Women, and was commonly used as a knick name years ago. Same as Ashley being a girl's name was unheard of 70 years ago.

yeah, that name is kind of gone with the wind now...

and Tracy I used to do mail room and one of the partners was a guy named Tracy. The mail always said Ms Tracy.

Nowadays with names it seems more people are doing whatever the heck they want. I write a bit and tend to go against that sort of swap mentality here in America. One of my favorite names for a guy is Piper, actually.

Thanks, Joey Tribbiani.

that's enough drama for one lifetime

I feel like no one really won in this story... Sorry about your fiancé OP! :(

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Were you under the impression that people think gays are incapable of infidelity? As with most stereotypes, the ones pertaining to homosexuality range from negative to absurd.

Yeah just ignore my comment. Totally misread this.

Oddly enough in my psych class my professor said that, statistically speaking, male male gay relationships experience the most infedelity. Lesbian relationships have the least. That's not to say that gay people do or don't cheat, they're just as capable and I'm pretty sure that situations like this are well off the radar for anything that's been analyzed or that's typical.

I know a lot of gay people, to be honest, they cheat a hell of a lot more than anyone I've ever met.

Homosexual relationships are bizarre. I've hung out with so many guys who are married/engaged/long term, but they're in open relationships. It's fairly common for gay men to be in a serious relationship, but see other people.

as a gay man I can def say that we do.

I think this could use a follow up?

I'm still processing all this information.

So when will you all be appearing on Jerry Springer?

xcllla_ 26

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He got engaged to the OP under the pretense that he wasn't already married—he used the OP to cheat on his wife! Sexuality is irrelevant; this person betrayed two people.

I kinda get what you're saying, but...really? OP should just be happy? Would you say "no matter if he's married, if he's 100% not attracted to his wife but attracted to YOU and loves you, just be happy" to a woman who found out her fiancé already had a wife? If he left his wife, that'd be one thing. But the fiancé is a LIAR. He has been living a complete double life, probably for quite a while now (meaning he's had lots of time to let OP in on it), and was probably sleeping with the wife too. Personally, I'd still be upset if my SO told me "oh, the sex meant nothing though, I'm not attracted to her and it was just a cover story so it doesn't count as cheating," especially if he waited till AFTER I found out myself to tell me anything! I mean, I could understand the twisted reasoning behind hiding it from his wife (even if I still think it's wrong), but I really can't think of a good reason why he would hide it from OP once he became serious about the relationship. The fiancé should've told OP he was married from the start, and divorced his wife instead of cheating on her.

ThatOneChick856 36

Whether he's bi and fell out of love with his wife or gay and just now realized he only likes men, there is no excuse for such an absolute dick move. He cheated both of them by cheating on his wife and promising a lifelong commitment to OP that would have never gone through (because I believe you can't legally be married to two people at once). If he seriously wanted to move on and find someone else, he should've left his wife first and only then started an honest relationship with OP or someone else. That scenario is no better than if he really was just interested in cheating.

No no no. No no no no no no It's not ok just because he is gay. And you do not look all open minded for saying so. You look like an idiot.

A lot of gay people marry straight, because they feel it's easier to pretend to be straight. It eventually comes out, sadly usually after years of marriage and children. This may be far more complicated than just cheating. The wife could have been lied to from day 1 and used as a cover. Depending on the age and where the man was from coming out may not have been anything like what it is today. Not saying he was right, just saying there's probably more going on. It's could be very complicated and all too common.

#29 Like I said, I could understand the reason behind him not telling his wife. I still think it's inexcusable (since he doesn't live in a country where homosexuals are regularly killed), but I understand that he would most likely face societal rejection and loss of respect. Personally I still don't like it (because "being afraid of rejection" is no excuse for cheating imo, and he is basically temporarily sparing himself by harming and betraying his wife instead), but it is what it is. However he didn't even tell OP!!! The one he is secretly seeing! He has no "excuse" for proposing to him before letting him know he's already married! If he wanted to date OP secretly for a while to affirm his decisions, he should have made sure OP agreed to it, not asked him to MARRY him without even letting him know! No, the fiancé is just a complete all-around asshole. He is cheating on and betraying two people at the same time.

As a gay man myself, I completely agree with #32. He wasn't just lying to his wife, but to his boyfriend/fiancee/the OP, too. That being said, even though I don't know anyone involved in the situation, I hope he does eventually earn their forgiveness though. It'll be hard, but possible.

xcllla_ 26

Sorry for failing you, pal.

xcllla_ 26

Everything could be complicated. Maybe he wanted to reveal his marriage later to his partner but was afraid that the fact he was "lying" all the way could end the relationship that became so valuable for him. I have a high faith for people so that's how I thought things were. Of course, if he did it on purpose and was having sex / relationship / etc with both his wife and his new partner he is a total dick and couldn't be forgiven. But yet again when I've read this FML I didn't think of the situation the way most commenters here are.

#64, physical intimacy does not always equal a relationship. To some people, even emotionally swaying (as in becoming ENGAGED to someone ELSE) is actually considered cheating as well, whether they've been physical or not. There's not much faith to be had for this man considering he not only cheated on his wife, but wronged poor OP as well. Two people have had their hearts broken over this foolish man and his very, very foolish decisions.

If this was a reality show, I'd watch the hell out of it.